Watercolor Girl

Changes

Lev

I woke up curled around her tiny body. Her bed was too small, my feet hung over the bottom if I didn’t tuck my legs up but it worked fine to keep me close to her. I’ve always been annoyed by the insatiable urges of wolves who have found their mates. It seemed like so much of their time revolved around the whims of their s*x lives that important things were often shoved to the back burner or overlooked all together. I understood it now. The sensations and the way a single touch could quell all of the unquiet of a lifetime. I had never slept as well as I slept in this tiny uncomfortable bed with this tiny she-wolf I’d only known physically existed for a day. She slept quietly, as she seemed to do most things. I found myself checking for the slight movements of her chest as she inhaled and exhaled. I have waited nearly three years for her, and she’s been here, we have much time to make up for.

“Lev, I need you back today.”

Ciaran’s voice cut through my thoughts. I found myself immediately irritated. I didn’t want to leave. I had the clothes I’d shown up in, so I would have to leave now, shower, and drag myself to my office, but at least I could link her, since I wasn’t able to before when I was reaching for her at the pack house. It hadn’t crossed my mind…

“Lev.”

“I’m on my way Alpha.”

I shifted my mate, as gently as I could so I could sneak my arm from underneath her. She stirred slightly but seemed to otherwise sleep on. I started to pull on my shirt begrudgingly before I realized the ridiculousness of it. I had no plans to walk all the way back to the pack house. I rolled my clothes into neat little combat rolls before moving through her house and out the door, I shifted, picked up my little rolls of clothes, and sprinted towards the pack house. I stopped momentarily to pick up the little bag Evangeline had discarded on her run back to her house, I had shifted back slightly before this point. I would bring it to her later.

I had barely stepped back into the pack house when a voice chirped through my head, clearly agitated.

“Someone smells like s*x and bad decisions” Ravyn. I had grown up with her, she was of a delta bloodline, but as a female she held no authority. It saddens me the treatment of she wolf’s within the pack. Dargan was named because her father had wanted a male, an heir to his position, when she was born a female, he rebelled by keeping the name he had chosen for his son. It fit her, but it is by all accounts a masculine name, on such a feminine little being. Ravyn hadn’t found her mate, we spent occasional time together running when everyone else was busy with their mates, there had never been anything between us, but the irritation was clear and I wondered now if maybe she had hoped there might eventually be. “Care to kiss and tell?”

“I can’t right now. But I’m sure it’ll come out. This pack is too small for gossip not to spread like fleas.” I bit back in just as irritated of a tone.

“Whatever, Lev. I pity the she wolf who shares your bed.”

When I got to my room I disrobed and jumped in a cold shower. I could smell Evangeline on me and had trouble shaking off the distraction of it.

“My office in 10.”

I don’t answer but I know he knows I’m here. I wrap a towel around my waist, standing in front of the mirror I admire her mark. She had done it with an unexpected ferocity, little bruises, already healing, made it stand out even more on my incredibly pale skin. I pull on a black t shirt, one of the many, and throw on some jeans. Boots are an inconvenient choice of footwear for a wolf but I prefer them. An aesthetic choice purely. But my choice. I brush out my hair and throw it in the alpha’s favorite style before moving downstairs to his office.

Ciaran

The knock comes almost to the second. And I’m almost annoyed at how punctual he is. Dargan sits on the sofa she demanded I have put in the office so she could sit and distract me all day When she has nothing better to do. She is good at that and I’ve never once complained.

“Come in.” Lev pops his head in, I clap sarcastically. He looks at me confused.

“What?”

“You’re showered and dressed, you’re not falling apart, it doesn’t seem you have a massive hole in your chest where your heart should be.” He stares at me, then Dargan, then back to me. Lev has always been private. “Soooooooo???”

“So what, were there things you needed me to get done today? I’m here.”

“Seriously, Lev?” Dargan doesn’t hide her frustration. She’s been bugging me nonstop for information. “Did she f*****g reject you or not?” A low growl escapes from his throat.

“Watch your tone, that’s your Luna.”

“I apologize Luna, it has been an incredibly chaotic day and a half. I’m not sure I’m ready to discuss what occurred as of yet.” So formal in his address and I can see Dargan is irritated by it. This isn’t a formal meeting but we need to know, it’s our job, and our beta is an important part of the cohesion of the pack. Dargan stands, she’s wearing leggings and a loose fitting athletic tank over a black sports bra.

“I’m gonna jump him and find out.” There’s mischief in her voice, it’s light hearted, but before I can advise against it she’s got him pinned on the ground. He didn’t argue, he knows better. Lev isn’t weak but I’ve never seen him so much as resist a she wolf who moved against him. Dargan knows this, and uses it to her advantage regularly.

“Tell me or I’ll ask her myself.”

“You can’t link her out there, I tried. She’s blocked.”

“You can’t link her out there, Ciaran and I can. So tell me or I’ll ask her!!” Lev sits up, lifting Dargan completely off the ground gets his feet underneath him and stands before handing her to me. I can’t help but laugh. If he were anyone else I’d be enraged by the physical contact between he and my mate, but they bicker like brother and sister more then anything and I know he’d protect her with his life for that connection. I reached for my mate who was being presented me much like an angry cat. She swiped for Lev, catching his shirt before she wriggled into my arms.

“Ciaran. He’s marked. She didn’t reject him.”

Lev takes a step back from the feral she wolf he’s just handed off. I set her down on her feet and we both stand staring at him. Waiting.

“Lev take off your shirt.”

Evangeline

I wake up, I can smell him still. There is fresh coffee and I can’t help but smile. He knows nothing of me, but the little he does know he utilizes in the sweetest gestures. Oddly, I miss him. I miss his company. I have always been comfortable here, with Nox. I wasn’t existing, this is where I lived, but it feels lonely and empty without him. I haven’t felt so rested in years and I’ve never slept through even the slightest abnormal noise in my house. I brush my hair before jumping in the shower. This is not how I’d planned it. I wasn’t upset, but the logistics of these decisions were complex and I was worried about it, what his expectations would be. I didn’t want to live amongst the pack. But he had to.

I was sitting thinking, pondering and worrying when an invisible hand reached into my chest and squeezed. My mug dropped to the floor, black coffee splattered across the white tiles. Panic filled it’s space in my stomach.

“LEV?!”

Silence, crept in. It felt like hours, each passing moment exasperating this sense of dread and panic in my stomach and chest.

Lev

I stood defiant, fairly sure I was not going to remove any article of my clothing in this office right now.

“I would really rather not.”

“Why are you being like this?! You’ve never been such an a*****e in your life. What are you hiding and why are you hiding it?” Dargan was beyond annoyed.

“What do you know about her, Luna?”

“Enough to know that if you mated her you just made all of this a hell of a lot more complicated.”

Ciaran held up his hands, he must have said something to Dargan, she softened and stood down.

“Goddess arranges our perfect halves and we have little to no control of it. I would have accepted you regardless of how complicated you made my life, because that is our fate. You think if he had a choice this would have been it?”

“I’ll choose her in every lifetime.”

“Lev. What is the plan? What are you going to do with her? Do you really think she’s going to move here and live in the beta wing? Do you REALLY think that’s what she wants?”

My stomach dropped. I didn’t have an answer. It didn’t matter. If I have to renounce the title I never wanted I will. But that would affect her. We wouldn’t be able to stay we’d be cast out as rogues.

“I never said it wasn’t complicated, Ciaran. I know it is, but she’s my mate. You can’t seriously expect me to reject her because the pack forgot she existed. If they can stand to look at me, they’ll get over what she represents right now and eventually they’ll see her as she is.”

“You represent a hero from your bloodline and she represents the monster it needed to be saved from.” Ciaran’s words cut like a knife. I can feel the rage building. She doesn’t represent the monster that was my brother…

“LEV?!”

Her voice cut through my thoughts

“She is my mate. She is MY mate. I won’t reject her like the rest of the pack did. If the confrontation of her existence is such an issue. I’ll renounce my title.” Dargan and Ciaran both stare, wide eyed, “My family disgraced itself with my brother, I couldn’t care less about saving the beta bloodline. Especially at the expense of Evangeline.” I am not generally confrontational, but I’m disgusted with the idea I should abandon my greatest gift for the sake of the pack. That expectation would never exist for any other wolf.

Ciaran’s face reads tired. Dargan looks almost ashamed. She won’t make eye contact despite the hard stare I’m shifting from one to the other.

“It’s just complicated. No one expects you reject your fated mate, but we need to figure this out. You’re needed here. In the pack house with the pack. If she’s willing to be here, great, but if she’s not, you need to accept the distance. You also need to understand that the pack might struggle with the relationship, since your kin…” His voice trailed off.

“I get it.”

“Think about this. We have things we need to get done, but I’ll have Delta Sean fill in. For now. Figure it out, Lev. And figure it out soon. You’re dismissed.”

Evangeline

“I’m on my way”

The panic dissipated I cleaned up my spilled coffee before moving to the small porch to wait for him.

I heard a car. I had never heard a vehicle out here. It was distant but closer then I had ever heard one before.

“It’s just me, baby.”

I guess he decided it easier to drive as well, although a car wouldn’t make it all the way here, the walk was only roughly maybe 15 minutes from the sound of it. Less if your stride ate ground like Lev’s did.

His scent filled my nose before his figure appeared, I watched him, tall and brooding, moving towards me with his silk like motions. He immediately wrapped his arms around me, his mouth found mine. When he pulled away from me I could see a cloud across his face. I brushed a wisp of his hair away from his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” His eyebrows knitted.

“We need to figure some things out. Alpha Ciaran and Luna Dargan are - flustered - They’re pushing me for our living arrangements.”

“I hadn’t thought about it really.” Which was a lie. I’d been pondering it all morning.

“Will you move into the pack house? I have my own wing. You can come and go as little or as much as you’d like. It’s bigger then your house here…” his voice trailed off. He knew it wasn’t about size, or comfort, or luxury. Moving to the pack house meant moving to heart of the pack that found my absence easier then my presence.

“I can’t stay here?” His hand found mine, the other began to cup my face, rubbing small circles with his thumb on my cheek.

“I can’t stay out here with you. It’s too far from the pack, and I need to be there. I need to be available in the event of emergencies or attacks. I would never force you to do anything. But I would feel better if you stayed with me. I feel hollow when we’re apart.”

“Lev, we were apart for 4 hours.” He laughed and pressed his forehead to mine.

“And I ached for even just that. Imagine if it were days? I might die.” I rolled my eyes, but I laughed. I kissed the tip of his nose.

“When would I have to leave?”

“Now.”

Lev

Her eyes got her wide and the anger flashed through them.

“NOW? You expect me to abandon my home and leave NOW?” I placed her hand on my chest and pressed her palm flat against it.

“That is your home now. And this is mine.” I placed my palm similarly over her heart, “Wherever I am with you is my home.” Her face softened, she relaxed and her mouth met mine.

“I’ll go anywhere with you.”

Ciaran

Lev’s truck was loud, you could hear it from miles away. I had heard him tear out of here like a bat out of hell earlier, and now he was back. I felt for his situation. Probably more so then Dargan did. Neither of them deserved to get hurt but it really felt like Goddess made them into some sort of cruel joke. I hoped for the best, but didn’t expect much. Truck doors slammed. For such a big guy, Lev was unusually quiet. I could hear most of the wolves move around the pack house but I could never hear him. A knock sounded on my door, startling me out of my thoughts.

“Come in!” The door swung open, and there was Lev. Standing just beside him, his mate. My. Jaw. Dropped. “Come in! Come in! Sit down!” I stammered. Never ever did I imagine he would show up at my office door with her, I didn’t believe he could get her anywhere near the pack house, but in less than 3 hours here he was. She walked in just behind him. Standing partially obscured behind him. Her hair was long, it covered one of her eyes. The other peeked out just barely. She kept her eyes down, she nodded,

“Alpha. I’m sorry I caused you so much unnecessary concern, but I would like to stay here, with my mate.”

Lev’s eyes burned holes in me. The morning’s exchange had clearly been a mistake and I could see that we had not only underestimated her, but we’d also insulted the bond that all wolves should understand.

“Are you positive you’ll feel safe here? The pack will take time, but in the beginning, I’m sure they’ll gossip.”

“I’ve survived worse.” I couldn’t help but smile. She had survived worse. Barely. But she had. And here she was.

“You’re of course welcome here, Lev will show you where your wing is. He can show you where the kitchen is, and…”

“I remember. Thank you Alpha.” I forgot how much time she’d spent here in our youth. But she probably knew the pack house minimally better then Lev. Who didn’t explore, he trained, ate, and slept. There had never been much need for anything else.

I nodded at them both. She turned and walked quickly out of my office, Lev followed closely, uncharacteristically slamming the door behind him.

Evangeline

Walking into the pack house was like walking into an old memory. I never believed I would ever come back here. Alpha Ciaran’s jaw hit the ground when he saw me and all I could do to not laugh was focus on the ground and not at his ridiculously shocked face. Lev moved through the house so fast I had to nearly fun to keep up. Because of the off hour of the day it was quiet and fairly empty, but he moved me through the house like it was an obstacle course. When we finally got to his wing he unlocked the door, and swung it open, swooping me into his arms, I wrapped my arms around his neck instinctively and he smiled, and kissed my forehead before walking us through the door and kicking the door shut behind him.

The door opened to a hallway with a few doors, he carried me down the hallway to where it opened to a living room of sorts. There was a single recliner in front of a massive TV that wouldn’t have fit anywhere in my home. A small table sat in the middle of a kitchen, rather then the empty dining room space. He pecked my forehead again before setting me down on my own feet.

“In hindsight, I probably should have redecorated before brining you home.”

“Redecorating would insinuate that you had decorated at all, ever.” I laughed and he stared at me, a strange smile crossed his face.

He took my hand and walked me to a room off of the living room. He opened the door and I walked into he biggest master bedroom I have ever seen. The bed alone was the size of my entire room in my house, there were no windows, he walked across the room opening another door, so many closed doors.

“The bathroom, my dear. I don’t know what you need, but we can go pick things up later. Or you can give me a list. The bathroom was enormous. It had double sinks, a huge shower and a massive stand alone tub. It was clean, which almost surprised me. There was a separate little room off of it where the toilet hid. I wandered back out to the bedroom, and out to the living room.

“And what are these?” I gestures to the doors in the hallway.

“Empty rooms.” He opened one showing me and indeed it was a very sad empty room. “Most betas will eventually have pups. They account for this in the design I guess.”

“Three empty rooms?”

“Three very empty rooms.”

Sadness poured over me. Alphas and betas always had families. They carried on the tradition of the bloodline.

“What’s wrong?” He whispered lifting my chin so I could see his green eyes that stood a testament to the beauty of our moon. But I just shook my head.

I wandered to the bedroom, he followed and sat beside me on the bed I felt minuscule in.

“Lev you don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me. Maybe she did make a mistake. Maybe - “ His mouth met mine and the electricity he ignited erupted through my nerves.

“She didn’t make a mistake. I’ve never been so certain of anything. I want to learn everything about you. Everything. It takes time, but time we have.” He pulled me up on to his lap and kissed me with a fierceness I hadn’t felt from him before. He searched my body with his hands, pulling my hips to his. I could feel that he wanted me and I pressed my hips into his. He growled and smirked running his hands up my shirt and pulling it off over my head in a single fluid motion. He kissed my chest following the borders of my bra before reaching around me and searching for the clasp. I found his inexperience in these moments endearing. He struggled before getting impatient and pulling my bra off over my head. Silly wolf. My silly wolf. I peeled his shirt off of him, and took a moment to admire him, his chest was smooth and muscular except for the range of scars that ran down him. I slid off off his lap and tugged at his pants that slid down over his hips easily, but pulled his boxers down partially with them. He kicked them off and sat half reclined, but entirely naked in front of me. I reached for his shaft, wrapping my hand around it, he tensed but relaxed when I started to rub my hand along it. I brought my mouth to the tip and sucked gently, I could taste his precum, he rocked his hips towards me a bit, and I moved down further on his shaft, rubbing my tongue along him, he moaned and whispered, begging me not to stop, I took him all the way in, feeling the pressure in my throat before sliding my mouth back down the length of his shaft, passing to lick and suck at his tip. I felt his body starting to tense and I could feel his eyes on me, enjoying watching me take him in and let him out, his body spasmed as he released into my mouth. I swallowed his warm load before sucking every last bit of it from his tip. His eyes rolled back and he tried to roll away but i wanted to taste every single drop of him. I climbed up on the bed with him when I was done. Wiping my mouth from the saliva I had accrued. He reached over, resting his hands on my hip.

“Thank you beautiful”. I smiled, and kissed his shoulder.

He rolled over to me and wrapped me up in his arms an instant wave of warmth crashed over me.

“Tell me about things.” He whispered. “Tell me about you.”

I wasn’t sure where to go with that.

“I moved to my cabin at 17 right after graduation. I’ve been there since. I’ve been back to the pack lands a grand total of five times since then. What else do you want to know?”

“Why so sad when you asked about the empty rooms?”

I couldn’t stop the sigh that escaped my lips. And he snuggled me in closer. I wouldn’t normally care to discuss it but damn the effects of the mate bond.

“I can’t have pups. It isn’t possible. And maybe I should have told you that before.”

I felt his eyes on me and I suddenly felt very exposed and wanted my shirt back. I shifted to roll away but he didn’t let go. He held me tighter.

“I never wanted them. So it doesn’t really bother me as much as kind of relieves me.”

Lev’s eyes went blank.

“I gotta run for a minute. I’ll be back in just a few. Do you want me to pick you up anything?”

I was mildly irritated, but I understood. You don’t open this type of conversation then run. But a beta is always on call and I would just have to get used to it. I guess.