Devour Me

Love Me, Please Ch 4

Kenna

I lay in bed. It was now Sunday morning and I felt like absolute s**t. I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night. And if I did, I was tormented by the words Jasper uttered to me in such a cold voice void of any emotion or attachment. It had been so silly of me to even consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he had feelings for me too. He had made it quite clear, he has never liked me in any way. Not as a friend…and most definitely not as a woman.

Sighing, I sat up. I couldn’t stay here cooped up no matter how much I wanted to. I needed to start hunting for my own place. As much as I would love to stay with my parents, I needed my own space to cry and eat twinkies without anyone questioning why.

As I was putting the last touches on my make-up, a knock sounded on my bedroom door. It must be Amelia.

“Come in,” I shouted. Turning around to greet her, I stopped, a little shocked to see not just Amelia, but Zachary too.

“Sorry, he wanted to come and talk to you too.” Amelia came and sat on my bed while Zachary remained by my open door.

“What’s up?” I asked, curious to get a visit from both of them.

“We wanted to see how you were doing this morning, especially after Jasper’s little hissy fit last night.” I felt a blush creeping up my neck at the mention of last night. Zachary winced at Amelia’s description of Jasper’s behavior.

“He was just concerned, that’s all,” he said. Amelia c****d a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

“Yeah, says the man who also threw a hissy fit over Valerie. Her clothes, her drinking, her dancing.” Zachary had the decency to look ashamed.

“Look, we just wanted to make sure you were okay. You left pretty early.” Zachary said as he came further into the room. Should I tell them what happened? I bit my lip in thought.

“Did anything happen between the two of you?” Amelia asked softly. My gaze shot to hers and the returning smile she gave me was all knowing.

“I-” pausing to lick my lips and word my thoughts accurately, I tried again. “I’m not sure what Jasper sees in me. He scolded me and then…gave me mixed signals.”

“That sounds like Jasper. For all the broodiness he portrays to the world, he has a very sensitive heart.” Zachary looked thoughtful as he said the words.

“But there’s no way he could like me,” I murmured. Watching their dubious expressions, I added, “Right?”

Amelia spoke this time. “Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t like you. I just don’t think he recognizes it yet and, on top of that, doesn’t know how to express it.” This was all so confusing, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. No, not with Jasper Calidan.

“Well, there’s not much I could do about it. Do you think you guys could come with me to look for my own place?” They both smiled.

“Sure. What place did you have in mind to start with?” Zachary asked. Jasper’s words came back to me.

“How about the Waterfront?” Amelia’s eyebrows rose, but then it swiftly turned into a mild smile that said nothing and hid everything.

“Yeah, I think that’s the perfect place to start looking.”

Several hours later…

I was exhausted. Buying a place was no easy feat and all the legal jargon was swimming around in my head. But, suffice it to say, I had officially found a place of my own. I figured an apartment was the best choice at the moment, since I was still getting settled into my career and there was no long-term commitment to renting the one-room apartment.

Even better that my apartment looked over the glittering water along the Waterfront. It was within walking distance to get to all the little shops and vendors. Another bonus. Amelia and Zachary promised to help me with whatever else I needed but claimed they were starving, so we were currently at a little Italian café eating pasta.

“When do you start your job at the Vet’s?” Amelia asked around a bite full of pasta.

“I start on Tuesday. Mainly orientation stuff and getting the hang of the flow of clinic protocol.” I was excited to start. Animals were one of the few creatures I could truly just be me. Energy or no energy, they never judged.

“Hey, I’m getting a call. I’ll be right back.” Amelia stood up to walk a distance away and answer her phone. Zachary was currently stuffing his face with his Italian sandwich.

“Zachary, do you like Valerie?” I asked unexpectedly. He choked on the bite he was swallowing, and I quickly handed him water.

“Where the hell did that come from?” he asked, breathing raggedly after his coughing fit. I shrugged.

“I don’t know. You seemed to be..um..really preoccupied with her yesterday.” I wanted to add, similar to how Jasper was with me. He sat back in his chair and suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

“Be honest with me,” I demanded.

“I hate it when you do that,” he snapped. I shrugged again. “Fine. I guess..yeah, in a way I like her. If you count it as a like-hate relationship.”

“But if you hate her, how is it that you like her?” It was such a confusing paradox and it truly had me baffled. To Zachary’s credit, he really considered my question before answering.

“I guess, it’s because she pushes me, challenges me to see things I don’t like or normally wouldn’t have even bothered with. It’s almost like she’s showing me the hard good things.” Hard good things? I pondered on that concept.

“Do you think I do that for Jasper?” It came out before I had even filtered it. Zachary smiled with the same knowing smile as Amelia. I wondered if I had that smile too.

“I most definitely think you do that for Jasper. He’s always been a pessimistic bastard, always seeing the worst in everyone and everything. But you…you always see the best. He hates that you can live with such a carefree view on the world where he struggles with that.” My heart stuttered then beat faster. Last night, it had seemed like that was what he was trying to say.

“Do you think…I could…I could pursue him?” I know he said not to think anything beyond what he did but I felt that little flame of hope flutter in my chest again. Zachary looked thoughtful. At that moment, Amelia returned.

“What did I miss?”

“Our baby sister here, wants to pursue Mr. Grumpy.” I squirmed in my seat as Amelia turned her surprised gaze to me. And then burst out laughing.

“If you didn’t, I was going to find a way to do it for you.” I smiled. A genuine, sunshine-and-rainbows smile.