The Omega Bond (Book Five in the Omega Game series)

Chapter 4

Fair

City of Leukos, The Dark Desert

Present day…

I wanted to disappear like a speck of dust in the wind. I wanted to be gone and be forgotten from this place and these things, and everything that had shaped me into the...whatever it was that I was. That was the thing. I couldn’t even tell who I was anymore. For days now I’ve tried to come into terms with the fact I wasn’t Fair anymore. I was something else. Someone else. Dangerous. Lethal. Monstrous.

And Nira…

I pushed my head down, between my arms and started crying again. I hated myself so much for making Nira suffer. She hadn’t been herself since I hurt Ang. Her eyes were always red and she had forgotten to eat one too many times. Her silhouette had started to become thinner and thinner to the point I was scared she would vanish before my eyes. And I’ve done that. I’ve scared her. I’ve scared the one person I’d always seen as the bravest woman in this world. Nira that could transform into a dragon, Nira who killed hundreds of Alphas to save me, Nira who was still so young and in her own right a queen among Omegas.

I dried my tears and looked up when I heard the soft steps nearing my room. Three fast knocks and two slow ones hit the door and against any logic I smiled a bit. It was our secret knock. Nira’s and mine. We had come up with the idea of having a secret knock and a special handshake after I read about it in one of the thousands of books I enjoyed last year. I’d found the idea of sharing such a special secret with Nira to be fun. Owning secrets with someone you loved seemed to be so special, so unique and comforting. As if a secret could make us stronger, different than the rest and in our own way, unique. I didn’t know what to think anymore. I didn’t know if my bond with Nira was more like shackles rather than a embrace of our souls. I didn’t know if being different was a good thing or a terrible, monstruos chance of destiny.

Nira walked inside the room then, bringing with her the scent of fire and rage. She had removed all of her jewels and had pushed her long hair up, in an intricate design that had required too much patience to construct. Which made me think Didoka had been the one to fix her hair for Nira. My adoptive mother simply didn’t have the patience to care for small things like that. Doing her hair, making her bed, arranging flowers in a vase… She considered those things too complicated and inconsequential. And still she had let someone fix her hair. I looked at the tray she was holding and felt my heart contract in pain. Nira had taken the time to fix all my favorite fruits in bowls. She had cut the fruits in small bites to make it easier to eat. My eyes felt too hot suddenly, as if the need to cry was too raw and visceral to process in a single thought. I had been left with only sensations that preceded reactions.

“You need to eat,” she said before placing the tray over my bed and looking at me. Her light blue eyes seemed to reflect the light of the burning candles and for a moment I thought Teran had been staring at me through her eyes. She blinked and her eyes went back to normal while she pointed a finger at the grapes cut in small ringlets, “Black grapes from the Dark Desert. Your favorite.”

“I’m not…” I started talking but Nita clenched her jaw so tightly that I closed my mouth and swallowed in the uncomfortable silence that preceded my echoing words. With a sigh I got up and marched to the bed, letting Nira guide me to the middle. She got a comb from the vanity set at the side of the bed and started disentangling my hair.

“You need to eat,” she said while working down the tangles of my hair with delicate movements of her wrist. “It doesn’t matter what is happening or what you are feeling. The best thing you can do for yourself are eating and staying strong. And if you don’t care about yourself enough to eat, then think about me and eat. I will never ask for much, but for you to stay healthy.”

I felt the same burning sensation in my eyes. I swear my entire body seemed to choke with the need to cry but I moved, picking pieces of grapes and pushing them into my mouth. The sweet, tangy taste of the fruit felt like ashes against my tongue. I swallowed. Picked more grapes. Swallowed them down again and again.

“That’s more like it,” murmured Nira, moving around until she picked a bottle of oil and started lathering her hands with it. Then she returned to my side and started massaging my hair with the oil, “The discussion is now over. I hoped until the end that you would attend the meeting. How many times have I told you, Fair? You can’t let Alphas make decisions for you. If you don’t speak for yourself then they will silence you. Do you want to be a mute or do you want to have a voice?”

I kept my silence. It wasn’t that I couldn’t understand what Nira was trying to say. I could, very well. She had been adamant from very early on about the fact I needed to be independent and self-resilient. I got that. I loved her for teaching me to be an independent Omega. I just didn’t have the strength to see others. I was afraid of seeing others. What if I hurt them? What if I hurt Ang even more? No, it was safer this way. It needed to be this way. I swallowed down the fruits I’d been chewing and glanced up, focusing on Nira’s frowning face.

“How is Ang? Was he at the meeting too?” Nira’s frown deepened.

“You don’t need to worry about him. He is strong as an ox. All of the Wolfsons are hard to kill, Fair. Believe me, I’ve tried to punch Aros many times and have never succeeded,” I smirked at that piece of information. Of course Nira had tried to punch her own mate. It was just like her to do so. She cleared her throat and her hands started moving slower, as if she was trying to say something that had no idea how to be approached. At the end she sighed, speaking as bluntly as ever, “You are in danger here. If you stay in the Dark Desert you might be found by Mourna or others who will try to use you as a weapon.”

I turned around fast, grabbing her hands in a tight hold and shaking my head.

“I’m not a weapon! I swear! I’ve tried for days now to replicate the same words that Didoka said to me and nothing has happened. It might have been a mistake or a…” Nira put a hand over my shoulder and leveled me with a hard stare.

“Stop doing that,” she said softly, her tone betraying the inflexible quality of her stare, “There’s no point in denying the facts.You know who you are and what you can do, Fair. The sooner you learn to control your powers the faster you will feel at ease. Trust me on that.”

“If that’s true, then I could hurt Ang again Nira,” the words brought a sense of finality to my own ears. I felt as if a heavy boulder had taken a space where my heart used to be. I felt too old and heavy, like a rock at the bottom of an ancient river. I couldn’t see anything beyond this point. Just the dark, muddy waters of the bottom, exactly where I’d been stuck since I hurt Ang. Nira took my face in her hands and lifted her eyebrows at me.

“Ang is the most volatile Alpha I’d ever met. Even moodier than Kun,” She lifted her eyebrows at me, punctuating her words with the arch of her brows, “Do you really think having him as a friend would always be easy? Think about yourself first, always, be selfish. Change that thought into another one, in which you now at least have a way to defend yourself if he is the one who hurts you. Don’t turn yourself into a victim. Be your own defender. Be your own hero.”

“Why are you saying these things?” I asked while my eyes started flooding with tears.

“Because I can’t be there to defend you anymore,” Nira’s voice broke then but the tears in her eyes were never released. She stayed strong, like a queen, serving me as a reflection of who I wanted to be. She caressed my cheek and smiled sadly, “I can’t stay with you any longer, little girl. You will be in danger if you stay here. There are too many eyes focused on the Wolfsons. Like Didoka said, you need to disappear. You need time to learn how to control your powers.”

“How?” I pushed my hair away from my face in mortification, “Where? Where can I possibly go?”

Nira held my hands and focused her eyes on me again, “There’s a place where nobody will think to find you. You will be safe there, but you will have to assume a whole different identity. You will be able to grow up in peace and away from all the people trying to find you. If he accepts you…”, Nira’s lips pierced down in a tight line of discomfort. I frowned.

“Who needs to accept me?”

“King Alkotanila.”

The name was like a curse that struck me. I closed my eyes and in the forefront of my mind I could still see those golden eyes looking down at me. He was a true king, like the Wolf, like Baltus. He was way older than what I was and in a strange way even older than everyone I knew. I’ve only seen him twice but I could remember him perfectly. Tall like only true Alphas were. Silent. Observant and wise. He held Didoka’s curiosity in his eyes, but when Didoka seemed to be always alive and happy, he appeared old and dead, like an empty trunk of a tree. There was something about him that made others respect him instantly, even fear him. Even the Wolfsons respected him and valued his advice.

I remembered the last time I’d seen him. I’d been so overwhelmed by his Alpha’s scent that I hadn’t been able to look him in the eyes. He had exuded violence and aggression towards me in a way that no other Alpha had ever shown me. I had been terrified by him and I still was. They really wanted to send me there? To the Yellow Islands? To him? I hugged my legs to my middle while Nira started to braid my hair. After a while I licked my lips and talked to her.

“Nira, what did you mean before? Why does King Alkotanila need to accept me?”

“Apparently the Yellow Islands don’t like foreigners too much. They hardly accept visitors and Didoka mentioned there were almost no reports about foreigners staying for more than a couple of days in the Main Island,” I tensed at the news. If I went there I would be hated. I didn’t look like a Yellow Island native. I was as far removed to their likes as I could possibly be. I tried to speak and voice my concerns but Nira stopped me, “You don’t need to worry yet. Didoka and Kun had just parted to seek an interview with King Alkotanila. If they don’t succeed then we will find another way. There will always be another way.”

I closed my eyes and prayed to the old gods for that to be the case. Those cruel golden eyes made their way up to my mind again, reminding me there was something about Alkotanila that I was terrified of. And I had no intention of ever finding out what that thing was. I felt safe on assuming I would never, ever, have to figure out why I was so scared of him.