Miss Chubby

Chapter 12

Dad woke us up in the early hours of the morning. He likes doing this every time we are home. When he wakes us up at 5:30 am we all know that we are going camping and we will spend our day and night in the woods. After that we will pass by our grandparents’ house (from dad’s side) tomorrow just to have lunch with them and come back home.

Camping has always been our family hobby. We don’t have time to like or dislike it because we have been doing it since we were little. When we were older we asked dad why camping though and he told us that in his family every household has their own family hobby. Some prefer road trips, some prefer fishing, some prefer going to festivals so he chose camping for us.

When we get to the camping site the men usually go fishing for lunch and dinner so that we can eat. Dad taught us how to hunt and fish for meals. So we arrive there and set up. We have a great family day. Of course Thando and Busi are faking their happiness because of me but I don’t care. We eat fish and rolls for dinner and then sleep in our camping tents. Gcino and Lele share a tent with me because I brought a much bigger one and because they love crowding my space.

Lele: “so am I allowed to break Shamase’s bones?” I laugh at him.

Me: “he is older than you so I am sure he will be the one doing the crushing of the bones.”

Gcino: “if he wants you then he won’t fight back.”

Lele: “yes bro.” they fist bump and I laugh at them.

Me: “u Ndosi omkhulu will skin you alive.”

Lele: “yoh that guy shame. Remember when I got arrested for assaulting Sisana’s manager?” we all laugh because dad bailed him out only to beat him into a pulp and he woke up in hospital. Dad is a very peaceful person but once you get involved into a violent situation or a fight he will beat you up until you promise that you will never let another person provoke you.

Gcino: “I remember how he beat me up for trying to break up a fight and getting punched in the process which lead me to slapping the one who punched me. Dad has no chill though.” We laugh again.

Me: “you guys don’t understand that he hates violence and he doesn’t believe that fighting can solve a problem.”

Lele: “sometimes he goes overboard.”

Gcino: “exactly.”

Me: “but you gotta admit that he is the best dad ever.”

Gcino: “true that.”

Lele: “good night guys.” We all go to sleep.

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We wake up the following day and we bath using the water in the lake. After that we drive to Wimpy for real breakfast. We get there and some ladies go crazy when they see Lele, some ask for pictures and he grants them that. The whole family find a table that is big enough for all of us and we sit there. The waitress comes to take orders and I order for Lele while he is entertaining his fan club. Lele comes to sit next to me and the waitress brings us coffee and tea for mom and her first born, but the waitress doesn’t see Lele because he has his head on my shoulder.

Dad: “I just hope your fan club won’t be disturbing us while eating.”

Lele: “they won’t dad.” The waitress brings breakfast and she almost trips when she sees Lele. Gcino stands up and assists her before she falls.

Gcino: “let me help you with that.” he takes the tray from her and serve us. The waitress finally comes back to her senses and continues doing her job.

Dad: “see what I was talking about.” We all laugh. We finish eating and daddy dearest settles the bill.

We exit Wimpy and we drive to Ndwedwe where the pensioners live. We get there and as usual they have visitors. We get inside and gran-gran screams when she sees her grandchildren. We hug her, grandpa and shake hands with their visitors. The visitors leave and the housekeeper serves us drinks.

Gran: “I hope you are staying for the night because it has been so long since you slept here.”

Dad: “what do you say honey?” she asks looking at mom. She melts when dad calls her honey.

Mom: “we don’t have any plans so we will sleep here.” dad may be strict and tough but I love that he becomes a teddy.

Grandpa: “so to what do we owe this visit?”

Dad: “we are making umemulo for Thando month end. We don’t need much from you but your presence. And also please invite your kids.” Grandma laughs.

Gran: “those ‘kids’ as you refer to them are your sibling.”

Dad: “so?” he shrugs. Dad can be savage sometimes.

Grandpa: “you have everything covered?”

Dad: “yes. My kids will help me out in making this ceremony a success.”

Gran: “so have you contacted makoti’s family?” mom is not on speaking terms with her family. We really don’t know what went down and mom doesn’t like talking about it.

Dad: “no we haven’t.”

Gran: “so where will Thando fetch the spear from because according to tradition she must fetch it from her uncles from her mother’s side?”

Mom: “we will see what we can do ma.”

Gran: “don’t take shortcuts or else this ceremony won’t be a success.” Mom nods and the mood becomes sour in the living room.

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***NARRATED***

Lindelwa was sitting in her house at Kwa Mashu. She may be a doctor and all but she is from the ghetto and she loves it there. Anyways she stood up and went to the kitchen to make a sandwich. While making it Noma barged in and shouted her name. She shouted back stating that she is at the kitchen. Noma came to the kitchen, they exchanged greetings and she sat on the barstool. Lee made a sandwich for her too since she knew that she will complain. When she was done she handed it to her, poured juice for them and sat down opposite Noma.

Lee: “so what’s up?”

Noma: “I saw Athenkosi.” Lee froze.

Lee: “what are you talking about?”

Noma: “he was with a woman and a kid. I suspect that she was his wife because they were wearing rings and they were acting all lovey dovey.”

Lee: “do you think that he will come after me?”

Noma: “I think he has moved on, well I hope so.”

Lee: “what will I do if he comes after me? Gosh I can’t live like this. Why can’t I have peace nje?”

Noma: “he is married and he hasn’t done anything yet so it’s safe to say all is well for now.”

Lee: “yeah for now.”

Noma: “anyways bae invited us to his work. They will be introducing new dishes so he was wondering if we could come and support him. Because if he invites a person and they show up, he will get R100 per customer.”

Lee: “when is this promotion thing happening?”

Noma: “Tuesday night.”

Lee: “I will tell Futhy and Zah and maybe Lindsay.”

Noma: “that guy can be dramatic sometimes.” They both laughed.

Lee: “when are we going to Zimbali?”

Noma: “I think we can go on Wednesday midday just for control. You still covering the costs?”

Lee: “I don’t go back to my word tase nawe uyazi nje.” Noma giggled and took a sip on her juice.

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***BACK TO FUTHY***

It’s Sunday evening and Lele and I are driving to my house. We get there and find Mabutho, Zamokuhle, Thobeka and Nomxolisi playing board games in the lounge.

Me: “hey guys.” They all greet back. I take my bag upstairs and head back downstairs after changing to sleepers. I sit on the vacant couch.

Xoli: “can I make you guys something to drink?”

Me: “coffee will do for me.”

Lele: “I’d like tea beautiful.” Xoli giggles and heads to the kitchen.

Me: “how are you guys settling in?” I ask looking at the guards.

Thobeka: “I love my bed so much and the room is so beautiful.”

Lele: “don’t you want to share it with me? I promise I won’t bite.”

Me: “Sibulele stop provoking her or I will let her smash you into pieces.”

Lele: “I am just kidding sisi hawu.” Xoli comes back with our drinks and she serves us.

Me: “how far are you with the research?”

Xoli: “all done. I can present it to you right now.”

Me: “let’s go to your office.” We both stand up and head to the pool house. We get inside and she turns on the lights. We both sit down and she opens her laptop. I take a sip on my coffee.

Xoli: “I found a vacant building in Johannesburg CBD. It has been free for a long time. There was some piping problem so they didn’t fix that, they just stopped doing business there. If you were to utilize it you’d have to start afresh with everything. It has 5 floors. Then there is a building for sale in North Cliff. The owner is moving her offices to Northgate so she is selling this building. It has 7 floors and 3 elevators. It is beautiful and is in good condition. Then there is one in Fourways. That one is a state of the art building. It was built and designed by famous architect Lungakho Mbhele. It has a unique structure and also has basement parking lot. It has about 10 floors. It is the most expensive one between the 3 and it is also in good condition and is in a safe environment.”

Me: “the one in JHB CBD will cost a lot for renovations and for the plumbing and there must be another reason why nobody has shown interest in buying it. I will look at the one in North Cliff and the one in Fourways in more detail. But the one in Fourways will have unnecessary space nje because I will only utilize 7 floors. What will I do with the other 3? But I will have to sleep on it. So what did you find in Cape Town?”

Xoli: “I found one in Claremont, it’s in good condition and in a safe environment. It has 4 floors and doesn’t have an elevator, I don’t know why. The second one is on Steenberg. It is also in a safe environment. It’s just that the roof collapsed 2 years ago so it hasn’t been in use for that long. I don’t even know how many floors it has and I know nothing about business but I wouldn’t advice you on buying it. The last one is in Clifton. It was built by Lethukuthula Hlongwa. It has 8 floors and 2 elevators. It has a helipad on the roof. I like it.” Lethukuthula Hlongwa is my previous boss. He is a great architect.

Me: “I’d take the one in Clifton. Please do set up an appointment with the owner so that we can hear how much he is selling it for.”

Xoli: “will do.” I stand up with my coffee.

Me: “see you inside.” I exit the pool house.

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