Chapter-4 Home
756 Words
After 11 days I'm back from hospital, I'm still not very healthy but now it's just weakness my all reports were normal and doctor discharged me. I'm back home but this time I look up to my home in a very different way as if my home was not the same cozy place for me, as soon as I entered I feel different, everything in the house was re arranged like the main hall sofa were not side to tv they were placed in front of it the dinning table direction, my study table, fridge all were on a different place from before. I realized soon enough it was done for me so that I don't feel the same but they didn't realized it never matter to me were you put the fridge in which direction you put the dinning table, what matters to me is the love of my family. My mother, my brother, my father all were a bit scared of me they were treating me like I'm the owner of the house they have to keep me happy or they will be kicked out. I hear my mother, while she was in kitchen she tells my brother "behave properly with him or we will all be in trouble". It hurts when you want someone to understand something and it goes all the opposite way. I didn't try to kill myself to teach them lesson I tried because I gave up on myself. I committed suicide not because of a single reason, I didn't do it because of a single day or a single incident. They cooked dosa specially for me and that very day in the dining table I realized that this happy behavior won't last long because change in them was external. We all did dinner and then I went straight to my bed, my mom went to my brother's room for packing as he had been here for a few extra days than his college holidays permitted and I guess he'll leave tomorrow. I didn't notice my dad and I didn't want to. I turned my light off
And then turned my phone on after 11 days, I wasn't worried because I know no one will call me or no one careless what happened to me. I miss some of my close ones I miss Ayush and Natasha, I wanted to call them and cry so badly, but I have already lost that point where I could have reached them. Ayush the person who was troublemaker of the class and Natasha, crush of the class good in studies and concerned and sensitive exclusively for Ayush and I landed just between them because of my class teacher Mitali Sharma also our english teacher. Our class 6 session was quarter way and at that time everyone was known to the teachers which boy is good which one is bad, which boy and girl are in relationship and our class was getting fame for nuisance so it was dirt on our class teacher name which she wanted to clear up with a unique idea which changed my life from north to South. She decided to handover Ayush to me, it means she made both of us monitor of the class and made us sit together I didn't know Ayush that very well but I also didn't know that he is such a trouble and that I would regret the very next day. Somehow we stayed together fighting, laughing, trolling. We ended up becoming best friends our each fight helped us to understand more of each other and the void was filled by Natasha, she thought that if Ayush stayed with me he will be on a good track but I think she didn't know Ayush too well because by the end of session, I was getting named but this time not on a good board. Happy memory relaxed me bit then I heard my father's noise, I went up to the door and placed my ears to door to listen what he was saying, he was telling my brother to stay for bit longer, that I might need him. I didn't have the power to listen to more of their conversation just because my father was the sole reason for all my conditions. I blame him and I'll always blame him but it instills a fear within me, what if he was right all along? then whose fault was it? Was it me? I close my eyes and started counting from hundred to zero.
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