kindness
878 Words
Bella pov
After Asher finished his dinner, we headed outside as we agreed.
Luna was embarrassingly happy about this walk.
She had been humming since I said okay like we were heading to do something wonderful instead of a quiet stroll with a man I was still trying to keep at arm's length.
“Stop that.” I told her but she just purred in response.
I gave up.
The pack grounds were quiet at this hour. All you could feel was just the distant sound of night patrol and the occasional cricket filling the silence between us.
Asher walked beside me without crowding me. He had his hands behind his back, eyes ahead and completely relaxed.
I stole a glance at him sideways and realised that he looked different outside the office.
He looked less like the Alpha King and more like someone who had been sitting at that desk for too many hours and needed the air as much as I did.
Neither of us spoke for a while and surprisingly, it didn't feel strange.
“ Can I be bold enough to ask you something?” Asher finally broke the silence.
“ Sure, go ahead.” I replied only to tense a moment later, wondering what he would want to ask.
“ Why do you not want to be mated?
I know this has to do with your previous mate who rejected you.
But there must be a particular reason you would not want to reconsider.” Asher asked, his gaze pinned on me.
“ When you are disappointed with something, you don't actually need another reason to hate it.
Physical pain can be gotten over but disappointment is both psychological and emotional. It's close to impossible to recover from that.” I explained.
Asher just stared at me for some seconds then nodded.
"Actually, when you said you wanted freedom, I could understand you." He said eventually.
I glanced at him then raised a brow. "You are the Alpha King." I said. "You have more freedom than most people will ever see in their lifetime."
I pointed out. His word was a law,how could he not be free?
Asher was quiet for a moment before he sighed.
"That's what everyone thinks." He said and something in his tone made me look at him properly.
"Every decision I make affects thousands of lives." He continued. "Every move I make is watched, measured and judged. I cannot eat, sleep or breathe without it meaning something to someone." He paused. "I never chose this. It was handed to me and I accepted it because that's what was expected." He counted while I listened, saying nothing.
"People see the title. They see the crown, the territory and the power." He glanced at me. "Nobody sees what you give up for it. Nobody asks if it's what you wanted."
Now that he had said it, I had never thought about it that way.
I had spent so much time resenting what he represented…power, authority and just another person with the ability to control my life.
It never occurred to me that behind all of it was just a man who also had no say in the hand he was dealt.
"What did you want?" I asked before I could stop myself. "Before all of this."
He smiled, a small and sad smile.
"Something simple." He said. "A pack I could call home without it being a responsibility. People I could trust without wondering about their motives." He was quiet for a beat. "Someone to come home to."
The words landed softly between us.
I looked ahead at the dark treeline and said nothing.
"Instead I got a title that keeps me up at night and a pack that needs me to be perfect." He said, a dry edge to his voice. "So yes Bella. I understand wanting freedom. Wanting to live on your own terms. I understand it completely."
I felt something shift quietly inside me.
This was not the man I had decided he was when I first opened my eyes in his pack. That man had been a symbol of power, something to push against and something to fear.
This man walking beside me was tired.
He was quietly and genuinely tired in the way that had nothing to do with sleep.
"I am sorry." I said softly. "For assuming."
He glanced at me.
"We are even then." He said simply.
I let out a small breath that was almost a laugh.
We walked in silence for a little longer. The pack house lights glowed in the distance, warm and steady.
“ So Bella, since both of us crave freedom, I will not be selfish to keep you here.
I want you to go out there and enjoy the freedom you want. Live your dream life, I will be here making sure the world you live in is safe enough for you.” Asher declared.
I felt a lump form on my throat, choking me.
“ Why?” I found myself asking, fighting the urge to cry.
“ Why what?” Asher countered, looking clueless.
“ Why are you being so nice to me? Why are you making me feel like a selfish bastard from your kindness?”
- Writer
