Cosmic Chaos!

Digging through the past.

My heart was beating rapidly fast. Until that moment in time, I was already more emotional and confused that I would have ever thought. Nick had already made a big entrance to the night, that I had never seen or experienced in my life. He was making me feel very comfortable and making me feel as if I was a fictional Disney Barbie. He looked so focused and had everything well-thought and put into place. And to think, I thought of refusing this date. This guy had already done so much for me and it was just the beginning of the night.

We were talking for a while about our past days just to break the ice. Meanwhile, Nick pulled out a little champagne for us to drink. Well, I could say that limo looked quite expensive, but it was decorated with a red color and with many roses. And I thought for a moment, he is spending way too much just for me. I guess he likes me a lot more than I expected him to. As we were drinking a glass of champagne, Nick started saying:

- “I hope you are feeling well and comfortable so far. Now let’s continue on to the second part of our night. Do you see that restaurant up there? We’ve got our own little spot reserved for us on the balcony, so that we can have a view of the whole town while under the full moon and stars. That is one of my favorite places to have dinner sometimes. Next stop is up there, and I hope you are really going to like the place.”

When we arrived there, they were already waiting for us. Some waiters were standing in front of the door and a red carpet was placed there for me and Nick to walk on. It is so funny that I was thinking that I was not that miserable after all, I felt like a VIP at that exact moment. Walking on a red carpet, dressed perfectly for an event, and with a date like Nick, I definitely looked like a VIP that day. I could see that Nick had prepared everything in detail and our table had the best view of all. But no one was around, he had reserved it all for me that day. I guess I was the special guest and the VIP that night. At some point I started feeling a little worried that Nick could have spent too much on me. And I didn’t want him to do this much for me, even though I felt very special. Later on, I found out that the owner of this restaurant was a friend of Nicks, who was doing him a favor in return for what he had done for him in the past.

We sat at our table, which was full of rose petals, along with a candle in the middle of it, and some romantic music in the background. The waiter came and opened up a very expensive bottle of wine, or it looked expensive as far as I could tell. Even though I had been rich before, this guy had already spent thousands of dollars to make me feel fantastic on this date. As we were left alone, we started talking a little bit more about ourselves.

- “What do you think about everything? I tried my best to make you feel special today,” said Nick.

- “First of all, this is outstanding. It is magical. But second of all, why did you do all this, I thought we were doing something normal. I am surprised and amazed, don’t take me wrong, but I hope this hasn’t cost too much for you,” I replied.

- “Hahahahaha, so you are telling me to worry about how much I spend on my first date? I don’t care much about how much I spent if the person that is in front of me is worth spending that much money. Plus, I used economical plans, so don’t worry, this probably has costed me anywhere from zero to thousands of dollars, so you would never guess how much it is actually,” said Nick while laughing.

- “So how much was it actually, tell me, I want to know about your ‘economical plan’...”

- “A master never reveals his secrets... Maybe I will tell you another time…” replied Nick calmly.

- “Ahh, so you are no longer only a master of science, now you are also a master of economics...”

- “You said it, I didn’t...” replied Nick, laughing.

- “Anyway Martha, as I said before, you look very pretty today. I want to know, how are you adapting to this new reality here? You have been here before, but how has it been for you this time? Because I suppose a lot of things are different, but I assume you already know quite a lot about this reality already.”

- “It has been hard to adapt in many ways to be honest. Back then, I was a little younger, more eager for the future. Most of the time I wouldn’t worry about too many things, as long as my family was around me. So it was pretty simple in my old life. In this new one, it has become better than I had expected, and it gets better by the day. At first when I woke up here, I was confused, lost, and sad. But I guess I have been lucky enough to meet the right people. But it’s still very hard to get through everything. I have a little hope though that maybe everything may turn to normal soon. But it is still very confusing. In this new reality I have met plenty of new people, that day by day, are becoming an important part of my life and I don’t want to lose these people too. So, I suppose what worries me, is that somehow I am stuck between my two lives, and I don’t know which one I belong to.”

- “I understand perfectly that it is very hard for you. Even when I was thinking about asking you for a date for the first time, I had a conversation with Luis about the fact whether you would be emotionally available to go on a date with me. I know it had been very hard for you but moreover the fact that your whole life was built somewhere else, I think it would be hard for you to build something new in this timeline, as long as you had still hope to go back to the where you belong to. I even thought that you would reject me and I would still completely understand why.”

- “Why would you think I would reject you, it is just a date, I need to know new people, I am not going to remain alone,” I replied, even though I had totally been thinking about rejecting Nick’s date the whole time, and he had actually thought of it as well somehow.

- “I don’t know, maybe I am wrong, but I still thought at some point you would reject me. But I am very happy that you didn’t think of it too. Now, let’s not talk about the clash of realities and let’s talk about more beautiful things. I still don’t know about your life and your family. I know that your best friend was Gina right? Tell me about your life a little bit. Who is Martha? And what did Martha do on a daily basis?”

- “Well, I was studying economics, I was actually really good at what I was studying. I wasn’t as good as you are in science, but in economics I am really good. My father, who owns a couple of businesses, always trained me for this field, with the hope that someday I would become a great manager and owner. And since I was a little kid, I was so eager to learn from my father as I helped him with his papers and calculations. I was good at science at some point until high school. That is when I lost all the hope that I would become a scientist so I got to focus more on economics. My little sister actually, Sandra, is the genius of the family when it comes to science. Back in 2021, she was a senior, and she was very good at physics and biology. But she didn’t want to be a scientist or anything like that. Rather, she wanted to be a doctor. She used to watch a bunch of TV-shows like Grey’s Anatomy, without even being in the med-school yet. So I guess she is the one meant to be in the science field. I guess the little kid is always the smartest in the family.”

- “May I ask, who you were the closest to in your family? With whom you had a better relationship?”

- “Actually, I love them all, but my father is the closest person for me. My mother used to actually focus a lot on Sandra, while my father always supported me the most. He wanted me to find myself and what I wanted to do in the future, without pressuring me. At some point when my grades in science classes started going down, he was the one who told me not to worry about anything as long as I was very good at what I was focusing on, in this case economics. He was also very protective and gave the best advice. If there is one person that I miss the most right now, it is my father. I would love to have him by my side right now and give the best advice he could to me about this messy situation.”

- “That is very lovely, from what you’ve told me, I can tell your father is a genuine man and a fantastic father. If I ever have the chance to meet him, I would love to. Maybe we can create a time machine and I come visit your family, who knows,” replied Nick as he was listening to me.

- “What about you best friend Gina, how did you meet her and how long have you been friends for?”

- “I met Gina back when I was a little kid, and she has always been part of my life, almost every single day since. If I was there, Gina had to be there too. There was no Martha without Gina. Everyone knew that. But we had very different personalities, to be honest. Gina was an explosive person while I was the shy girl. But she has supported me through everything and sometimes I would be the one who took her jokes too seriously and would be mad at her for hours. But we always loved each other. She was very experienced and mature, so she usually would give great advice and reviews on the new people I would meet. On the other hand, I was there to bring her down to Earth, when she would sometimes explode or do things without even thinking at all. We both were completing each other, that is why our friendship was incomparable to any other in my opinion. When I still remember that I killed her, that has to be one of the biggest mistakes I have done. I firstly accused her, then killed her…” I said, as I started to tear up.

- “Hey, hey, Martha, let’s not remember the sad parts, you are already here and this whole time-traveling thing, might have saved her life. You didn’t kill her, she is still alive,” said Nick as he stood up and gave me a hug.

- “From my point of view, I can’t blame you for missing the other reality. I guess you had all your pieces put together perfectly. But I have another question for you. What has your experience been with other men? Have you ever gone on a date before? Or do you have a boyfriend in 2021 and we are making a mistake here right now?” asked Nick.

- “Hahahaha, no, everything is okay, I don’t have a boyfriend. But I have had only one and the weird coincidence is that right now, at the time that we are dating, in my old life, I was also in a relationship. So I guess summer of 2017 is just meant for me to always be dating someone.”

- “That is funny, so you have had a boyfriend the same time we are dating. That’ll definitely be a bit confusing. Anyway, what went wrong with it, if I am allowed to ask?”

- “Well, his name was Nicholas and we were in the same class in high school. At first when we met, it was always at friend’s birthdays and events. And we got close to each other. Maybe our friends also pushed us to date each other, so they were fans of us being together. Nicholas also was the son of my dad’s friend, so it would be a perfect ending for all of us. At first, he was a very nice guy. And I still think that he has some good in him. But he was also very hot-tempered and sometimes very immature. He has around so many bad friends who were a bad influence for him. We never went on a first date, we went on other dates for sure but I knew him mostly by chatting with him daily on w******p, then we started video calling, just as every teenager does nowadays, and then we started going out in public: at the school cafeteria, in the school sport events and so on. I remember he asked me once on a video call to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He wasn’t the type of a romantic guy, but he was very protective of me. And that is what I liked about him the most. Things seemed good until he ruined everything.”

- “What did he do?” asked Nick curiously.

- “It was the end of summer. We had been together for 5 months. My family knew him, and it was not a problem for us to hang out at my house. All was going perfectly well. But I guess some girls had some ideas to make him theirs. They were some of the popular girls at our high school, while on the other hand I was the silent girl. And at the Summer-Ending-Party, he cheated on me with another girl. It was supposed to be the end of summer and the beginning of something more beautiful together, but when he did that, he ended our relationship simultaneously. As summer ended, our relationship did too. Gina was the one who told me that he cheated on me and by the time I arrived at the party, I wasn’t feeling up to it anymore, but when I got to see for myself what was happening, well I guess, what Gina said turned out to be true. Later on, he apologized to me plenty of times, as he was stating that he was very drunk and thought it was me. Well, he actually was drunk, but my character and the type of person that I am, wouldn’t allow those things to happen. I hate those situations and mistakes. I couldn’t stay with someone as irresponsible as he was. And it came all as a shock to me. I was very disappointed. I remember I cried for weeks, I think I liked and also loved him a lot, and he was my first s****l experience too. I gave him everything. And he knew what type of person I was. He knew that I wouldn’t allow him to cheat on me. I guess, maybe it was his intention to do that, but in my eyes, it looked all wrong and I was way too hurt and couldn’t continue anymore. He tried many times, but this is who I am, when something is broken for me, even for some stupid reason, I don’t want to fix it. This was my relationship with Nicholas. Nothing could be fixed. I forgave him at some point some years later, but that was all. I told him we could not be something more than friends with respect and distanced to each other. As a first experience, I guess it was hurtful but also beautiful. As a teenager, these things happen very often. But I fell so fast for him, that I regret doing some things. But I guess what is done, is done. You can’t fix some things, even if you travel through time as I did. And I guess even the Martha of this reality will also have some experiences as I did before, but I don’t want to do anything about it. It is something that should happen and has to happen. Furthermore, I wouldn’t be the person that I am now if that relationship didn’t happen or if I didn’t get disappointed and face the difficulties and reality. Some things just need to happen in order for you to learn that not everything goes as you want or plan it. You have to be capable to face it all.”

- “Wow, that is a hell of an experience. Since then, I guess, you were more selective in your choices in life, am I right?” asked Nick.

- “Well, I had to be. At some point when you grow up, you realize you need to be as selective as you can. You can’t have thirty friends around you all the time. Because most of them have different perspectives of the future. It is better to have two or three friends around you that make you a better person, rather than dozens or more who just look at you as the coolest person on the planet. I guess high school was all about being popular, but my relationship with Nick made me think that this popularity is not a good thing after all. Because everyone knows what you are doing, and everyone says different things about you, and you worry so much about what they would say, that you don’t even take of yourself. At that point I started appreciating the people that really cared about me more and started caring less about the negative influences around me. I respected all the people, each with their own different backgrounds, but only ever loved a few of them.”

- “I guess, some experiences can make you cry, but at the same time, after a while, can make you stronger. You became more mature, I think...” replied Nick.

- “To be clearer, it made me see things through a new perspective. It could lead me to different paths and directions but I think I chose the right one. I needed to face that life is not sometimes as we want it to be. We have to fight for the things we love on a daily basis. And we need to make sure that the things we love are the right ones for us. Because not everything fits us perfectly. But I guess I was that rich girl, taken care of perfectly by my parents and I didn’t have to worry about anything at all. I didn’t search for everything and I didn’t get disappointed at all. It definitely was my first big disappointment. And as a first big disappointment, I guess I faced it well. My father supported me a lot again, and Gina was there for me all the time. It was more of a teenage drama, but well, I was a teenager so I didn’t know in what other way to go through it.”

- “It is okay, in my opinion, you are actually a pretty mature girl and you have faced that situation in the right way. That is actually a very interesting story and I got to learn a lot about who you are. And I am glad that you are the person you are right now,” said Nick.

- ”So Martha, do you have any hobbies or favorite things to do?” asked Nick once again.

- “I love volleyball, I was very good at it. And I love to sleep. Just kidding. Well, I actually am very sleepy most of the time, especially back in high school when I didn’t have much to do or I was not motivated enough to go to classes. I usually slept through them sometimes. It was a big issue for me. Besides volleyball, I loved Kung-Fu. All those movies with Jackie Chan and Jet Li, I love them, even though I don’t know much about Kung-Fu at all. I had also taken a full course on painting too. I have done a few paintings, which I had at my home, such as portraits of people and stuff like that.”

- “Interesting, so besides a pretty girl, you are also a talented one,” said Nick.

- “Don’t make me blush Nick, but right now, I think the tables should turn, am I right?”

- “I don’t know what you mean Martha?”

- “You have been asking so many things and already know a lot about me, but I don’t know anything about you. So I guess it is my turn to ask... Or are we in a interview here, with only you asking the questions?”

- “Well, I guess then it should be my turn...”

- “Are you ready for some spicy questions here, Nick?” I said provocatively.

- “Before I am fully ready, hey waiter, can you please bring some water here please? I am feeling a bit warm right now,” said Nick while laughing.

- “Stop the jokes please, I am being very serious right now. Please start talking about yourself. I want to know. I am all eyes and ears for you.”

- “Where should I begin though, I was more concrete than you, so you better tell me what you want to hear from me first, and I am definitely ready to tell you everything.”

- “Well, I want to know who Nick is, how is Nick around people, and what does Nick hide in his past, I mean everything that is there to tell or anything that you would like to share. It depends on you. But let me tell you, I know when someone is lying.”

- “Look, I have no reason to lie to you at all. But there is so much to tell. I guess it will take you a while to hear about it all.”

- “I have all the time I need today to listen to it all...”

- “Then Martha, you better be ready, because there is so much to know about me. We are going to be here for a long time…”