Cosmic Chaos!

This is not my life.

There is a moment in life, where you have no idea what to do, you have no idea what your future will be like, you have no idea where the hell to go. And you keep searching for a reason why you’re going through this and you can’t find anything. And you feel like there’s nothing worth living for and everything you have done is meaningless.

Well, this was the way I was feeling on that very day the strangest event of my life happened. I was alone, five years back in time, and with no idea of what the hell I was supposed to do. I had lost everything. Literally everything I had in my life. That exact day I kept on trying to figure out why it chose me. What did I do? What was God or whatever trying to tell me? What have I done wrong? Or what was my purpose now? What was I supposed to do? And how could I stop that event from happening again if that was the purpose of me going back in time.

So many questions, but no answers at all for any of them. And I had to move quick. I had to adapt to this new lifestyle real fast, if I wanted to do something for myself first, and then for the rest of the world. But it wasn’t that easy at all. I spent the first night, with that little money I had, in a hotel room. And it wasn’t of those big and fancy hotels... It wasn’t even a decent one. It was one of the worst that you could find. But I had nothing to do. I had no ID with me, I had no identification at all, and most of the hotels wouldn’t let me in. I remember that very first night as it was today. I hadn’t eaten anything at all, but the noise coming from my stomach wasn’t because I hadn’t eaten anything at all. It was because I was freaking stressed out. I couldn’t sleep. And every time I can’t sleep, I get more and more stressed. This used to happen to me a lot on the day before I had any of my exams. I didn’t have anyone to talk to either about any of my problems and to give me a hand or something. The worst night of my life, ever, period.

That was the moment that all my hope was gone and I even thought about suicide. What was I supposed to do? Don’t judge me, experience it for yourself first and then you will see. It was a moment in my life where hope was gone. And when hope is also gone, you don’t really have much of a reason to live. But I assume that every human being, somehow, survives every situation if they want too. Sometimes they are lucky, sometimes they are not. But somehow, they can survive everything even when all is lost. I don’t know of what material we are made from, but we as humans, if we want to be, we are unbreakable. We just feel a bit lost sometimes. I learned these things a few months later, that everything can better, and every bad situation or event in your life, offers you something even better or greater than you have ever had. But at that exact time, I was crying, I was lost, and no one in particular was there to help me.

And after hours and hours of talking to myself, with no sleep at all, the next day had just arrived. And I couldn’t keep up doing what I had been doing. I had to find something to eat and eventually look for an apartment. I honestly wasn’t expecting much that particular day. My expectations had lowered so much, that I was expecting something even worse than what had already happened to me. But the sun shone that day, and so it would be my day. I was looking for any grocery shop around, so I could at least buy something to eat. As I was looking around, everything seemed so weird to me. Come on, I was a girl from 2021 back in 2016, what was I supposed to think? Now I understand that technology, fashion, the music industry and everything else change rapidly fast these days, usually daily.

I found a small grocery shop right next to the bus station I woke up at after the accident, so I decided to go in there. I didn’t want to act suspicious and get in more trouble. And I had to find some cheap clothes because I couldn’t keep wearing the only ones I had. I was kind of dirty and also the skin around my eyes had already turned black. So, I probably already looked homeless and I would expect them to think I was there to steal something. But never would I know, that particular day, I would find the best human-being on Earth that I had ever met. And it was none other than the person who worked there, Joshua. I got everything I needed and went to pay. But there he was, the greatest human-being with the greatest heart someone could ever have. As I was about to check my items out, some clothes and a little bit of food, I heard Joshua say:

- “Rough morning huh? I feel you.”

I was kinda at a loss for words because I hadn’t been talking to anyone lately. So I said:

- “You wouldn’t even imagine what has happened to me…”

- “Yeah, I understand, everyone has their own problems that others can’t understand or imagine...”

I replied back:

- “This is something that even in your deepest and worst nightmares you would never imagine…”

-“Woahhh, now you’re making me more curious...”

- “Well even If I told you, you still wouldn’t believe it…”

- “You tell me first, then I will decide if it’s unbelievable or not.”

- “You are wasting your time with me,” I replied back.

But Josh was so heartwarming and so nice that he kept insisting to listen to my story.

- “Okay, come here around 6 p.m. I’ll finish my shift and then we could go out and you can tell me everything. Because I see you been having a hard time. Look at your eyes, clothes and everything. You definitely need someone to talk to.”

On any regular day, I would think that he was just someone that wanted to benefit from me because of the fact that I looked homeless and depressed. And I would never accept that offer in a million years. But somehow, in that particular moment, I was thinking of meeting him after work. There were two reasons why. First of all, I had nothing to lose, I had nothing else in my life at that moment besides that conversation with him and I had to try at least to connect with someone to help me. Second of all, his smile and face seemed pretty genuine. My intuition has never been wrong before when judging other people by just their first expressions. I had to at least give it a shot. But I didn’t say anything to him, I just smiled.

As I was about to leave, he said:

- “Hey, my name is Joshua by the way, it was so nice to meet you. What’s your name?”

- “Martha...” I replied with a very, very sad expression of which Joshua keeps joking about to this day.

- “Don’t forget, 6 p.m., I am excited to hear your story…”

I didn’t say anything. I headed back to my hotel room and started to eat something. I had never, ever enjoyed food so much in my life. I was pretty hungry to be honest. But nothing kept me away from thinking about the situation I was in. I had only one clue and one person I could meet besides Josh at that moment. It was the ‘radio boy’. He is the one who must have a clue about what was going on and how to prevent it. I had to find a way to go to station 17 at the Blue Bridge, and to hope that the particular person I’m looking for, is working there. Time was flying, and it was time to meet Joshua. I still I had my doubts, but I decided to go. But at first, I hid at the bus station in front of the shop, just to see Joshua’s reaction. As he went out at the exact time, 6 p.m., he stopped and stood, waiting for me there. And to my confusion, he didn’t move for 15 minutes. He was really just waiting for me there. I took it somehow as a joke, I thought he would leave in 5 minutes, but he kept on waiting. I had to approach him, so I did. And when he saw me, his eyes lit up just as they had in the morning.

- “Here comes Martha…” he exclaimed.

- “You are dressed with our clothes. They look pretty nice on you. How have you been doing?” he asked me.

- “Everything is terrible.” I responded, in a very angry and non-friendly way.

- “Come on, lets grab a drink then and let’s talk.” he suggested, and we started walking.

At first, we were talking about things in general, but I had to come up with some good lies to tell him. I just couldn’t tell him I came from the future. I was so sure he would think I was in need of a mental institution. We headed to his favorite coffee shop, ‘Coffee Masters’.

- “I always come here after work; I love it. And if you look over there...” he pointed, “You see that girl? She is the girl I’m in love with. She works here. We are dating, but we have to work long shifts, so I always come at this time to meet her and wait until she finishes so we can go out together and talk. Her name’s Jessica. She is the nicest person I know, and coincidentally, this is where I met her. That’s why I always come here.”

At this particular moment, I knew he wasn’t going to do anything bad to me. He was telling a lot about his life, and I started understanding that he wanted to get to know me first so he could help me.

- “See Martha, it is a really hard life for everyone. I’m a man of color, and you have no idea how hard it is for people to trust me. It is 2016, and people are still racist. My mother passed away a year ago, due to stomach cancer. And during that time, I had to work two jobs to help her. My father died when I was only three. So I don’t really have any specific memory of him, just... you know, a few flashbacks and some photos. He died in an accident. But he is my hero. I had always lived with my mother, but now that she is gone, I live alone in the same small apartment we have always had. It has been hard for me, but I keep smiling, you know what I mean. What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger. I will always have a reason to fight. And one of those reasons is that girl right there. So that’s why I wanted to help you. I always believe in good people. I have had many problems in my life and I’ve never let it get me down. I thought you were homeless or something but I would never want to see you taking the wrong turn in these streets. You have no idea how dangerous it is in here. These streets are no joke. Now, I’m curious to know... What brought you here?”

Well, I was just speechless. I was born and raised in a rich neighborhood. I went to the best schools. And I never had to worry about anything. I had all the money I needed and never had to worry about a meal or anything. I had also never worked a day in my life. I always had rich people around me, and I always treated people like Joshua with antipathy, always under us and looking at them as the problem of society. But after I listened to Joshua, tears started to come out. If I would have met Joshua in my other life, I would have been skeptic about him, but right now, he was talking to me with all his heart. He was being really honest and he was a funny person. I really needed that, I needed to meet someone who could make me laugh and forget about my problems for a couple of minutes at least. But I had to tell him about me and how I got here. He was so honest so I had to do the same.

I started telling him about my crazy adventure and I was starting to feel quite better after I started expressing what I had been going through. And to my shock, Joshua was not even shocked or surprised at all. He kept saying to me to continue. I told him everything that happened that day. For a couple of seconds there was complete silence. And then Joshua said:

- “Wait, so you know what will happen in the future right? So that means you know every event that is going to happen in the next five years, right?” Joshua asked.

- “Well, most of them, I think. I remember the new trends, sport events, political events and so on.” I replied.

- “Okay, so... quick question, who is going to win the NBA championship this year? You must know, right?” he asked, genuinely intrigued.

- ”As much as I remember, it will be the Golden State Warriors. They will keep on winning two times against Cleveland. Durant wins two finals MVPs.”

- “That snake… Dang it, Lebron won’t win another ring...”

- “Actually, he wins one with the Los Angeles Lakers...”

- “Wait what? Lebron in LA? You are joking, right?” he replied surprised.

He was actually being kinda funny because here I was, explaining the chaos that happened the other day, and he just cared about knowing about sport events in the future. I still didn’t know whether he believed me or not. Because he made the whole situation seem less serious. But after a couple of questions about sport events and other weird stuff, he started to take me more seriously.

- “Okay Martha, we first have to find you a place to stay. You can’t stay on that dirty hotel. I’m going to talk to Jessica. She lives in the same flat as I do. If it makes you feel better, you could probably stay with her. And tomorrow I’m going to talk to the owner of a couple apartments there, to see if she could find you a place to stay for a while. Don’t worry about it. We will continue to find a solution for this. First you need shelter. You seem pretty shocked, tired and sad. At least this will make you feel a bit more comfortable I hope...”

He went to talk to Jessica for a while, and as for me, I was just sitting there very much shocked of what was going on. Did Joshua really believe me? Is he trying to help me for real? What has the universe planned for me now? For the past two days, my emotions have been going up and down way too quickly. So naturally, it was hard for me to believe that even this moment was real. But it was.

- “Martha, meet Jessica, the nicest girl on Earth,” Joshua said.

- ”Hi, I’m Jessica. Joshua explained to me a little bit of what you were going through. If you would like, I want to invite you to stay at my apartment for a while. It is not that big, but it can fit two. And I will do my best to make sure we have a great time together.”

I started tearing up in that moment. I just couldn’t hold back my tears no more. How two random people could be so generous and so nice to someone who they’ve known for only a portion of a day... It was a feeling of relief for me at that moment. I had two people, two great people in front of me, ready to help me and give me a hand. And when you are having a really hard time, that moment of security and relief that you get, makes you just tear up. You just can’t hold your tears anymore. Because crying is not a weakness, as I always thought, when I used to cry for stupid things. Crying is a feeling of relief of the exhaustion that life always give us. We are meant to cry and laugh. Because that is how life is meant to be. And it was one of those moments that my tears had a reasonable reason to come out.

- ”Come on Martha, let me give you a hug, don’t cry, things are going to get better. We are here for you,” said Joshua as he and Jessica came in to hug me.

We stood there for a while. Joshua kept on talking about the crazy events that took place at his store to make me feel better about my situation. And I will never forget what he did for me.

- “Look, one day someone came claiming he was an alien, and he came to my store to try human products. But somehow, I know that dude. He is always high. He was trying to get free things from my shop. And I always tell my brothers, drugs are not for everyone. If you can’t handle them, stop doing them. This dude has been everywhere saying he is an alien. I think he also believes he is an alien too. That is not how you get free things.” Joshua kept on saying while laughing a bit too hard.

- “Let me tell you how I first talked to Jessica. She started working here 4 months ago. And well, I have been working at the store for a year now. So I would always come here and do my homework. Because if I went to my apartment, I would probably fall asleep. Since then, I have finished the Bachelor's Degree for Economics. Even though I am not particularly rich at the moment, I am pretty smart. I had a scholarship for all my years of study. So you know, I had to keep that scholarship every semester with my grades, doesn’t matter if my life was simply s**t, you know. I’m twenty-two right now and I have a degree.

Anyway, she started working but I didn’t notice her until around the second week. I remember her bringing me the wrong order the first time she came close to me. But her boss, is pretty terrible. If you make mistakes, he fires you without hesitating. This is the right thing to do sometimes in a business I suppose, to make it a better one, but she was a newbie here. When I first saw her up close, I got butterflies in my stomach. She is the cutest. Doesn’t matter what other people think. I didn’t mean to make her nervous but I told her she brought the wrong order. And the boss was there. So she couldn’t bring the order back. She was begging me to keep the order and she would pay for it. That was my golden chance somehow. So I told her I will keep the order and I will pay for it, but she had to give me her phone number because I wanted to ask her out on a date. So she wrote her phone number on the receipt and the very next day we went out on a date. And I think somehow, she had seen me coming there often and liked me too, even though she doesn’t agree. But after a few dates, we found out we were soulmates. It has been three months and a week that we’ve been dating and been together. And I hope we take it forever, I love her, you know...”

Joshua is the best storyteller I have ever met, he always has a passion inside of his stories, and his hand movements are so fast and so expressive. That is why I love Joshua. He is my best friend since day one. That afternoon we kept on talking for hours together as he kept on telling stories. It was a long afternoon, but I will never forget it. Because the people who were with me that day, Joshua and Jessica, would be my best friends in the days to come. If it wasn’t for those two people, I don’t know where I would have ended up or how I would have dealt with those hard days. I owe a part of my new future to them, but what I owe the most to them, is the lesson they taught to me, that the life I had before is not what defines me now. This was not the life I had before. This was a new reality, with new people, teaching me some valuable lessons I will never forget.