Feelings of Life Torment

episodes 14

Within a few days, Layla had become somewhat normal, but there was still a strange void inside John. The doctor clearly said that Layla will never be a mother again. These words left a deep scar in John's heart that did not seem to be easily erased. John thought maybe everything would be fine with time. Maybe if they adopt an orphan child again, Leyla's face will be filled with laughter again. But Laila did not agree at all. He felt that it was no longer possible to accept someone else's child as his own. John has tried with patience many times. Sometimes he wants to explain calmly, sometimes with great affection and sometimes he wants to give Layla emotional comfort by sharing his dreams of the future. But Laila's heart was still hard. He was usually quiet, occasionally staring out the window and wiping his tears. Gradually the environment of their house started to change. There was no more laughter, joy or a flow of stories as before. Although they were under the same roof, an invisible distance was formed between them. They talked, but only when needed. Misunderstandings were created even with small matters. No major fights took place, but a mountain of resentment and pain gradually developed inside. Even in the silence of the night, John almost could not sleep. Looking at Layla lying next to him, he could see that the one he loved so much was still the same, but everything changed. Leyla was also carrying deep sorrow in himself. He used to blame himself in his heart, thinking that maybe because of him this imperfection went to John's life. In spite of these silent pains, life is moving slowly. The distance between John and Layla increased. From the outside they are still husband and wife, living in the same house, eating at the same table, but in the heart it is as if an ocean is separating them. One evening, John was sitting quietly in the drawing room, and Layla was standing by the window and staring at the sky. After a long silence, John wanted to say something slowly, but the words seemed to stick inside the voice. He sat down with his head down. That night too they were under the same roof, but between the two, an invisible wall stood permanently. Still, there was a question in their minds, is love really over, or is it just the pain that separates them? A few weeks passed in silence. Although they were in the same house, John and Layla seemed to be unfamiliar with each other. They talked very little, and even if they spoke, there was a strange coldness in him. Every word is loaded, every smile insists. John tried, Layla was also trying, but the pain in the heart seemed to return again and again like a cycle.

Finally, that day came, the day of the court. Both knew it was the beginning of a new chapter in their lives. Maybe from here they can get together again, maybe the path will be different. Sitting on the chair of the court, John's hands were shaking unconsciously. Layla was sitting quietly, no expression on her face, but a strange calmness in her eyes. At that moment John felt that although the world was pushing them away from each other, the love in the heart was still alive. Layla also felt, in the midst of this pain and pain, the memory of that love never lost. Before entering the court room, they looked at each other, not talking, but just the language of the eyes. At the end of the day, while coming out of the court stairs, John and Layla were walking next to each other. A cold breeze was blowing in the air outside, but a strange warmth in their hearts. Although the future is uncertain, they both realized that the pain that has passed has brought them closer. Thus, gradually John and Layla's life does not become the same as before, but they learn. Love never completely loses. It is only in a different form, silently, slowly, sometimes in the moisture of the eyes, sometimes deep in the heart. They knew that true love is patience, understanding and meeting with time. But they didn't want to take them further in the relationship. The court day was fixed.