The Lion Queen

Chapter 15

A huge shadow blocked the light around me and I knew it was Malik. I would have though I'd want to be alone, but I was glad to have him there with me. I'd barely met him, but I already knew he was open and understanding. He was compassionate enough to offer to help someone he barely knew, and he seemed honestly surprised when the others brought up their reasonable objections. He stood at the edge of the bushes and peeked in after me.

"Are you okay?" he asked. For whatever reason, just having him there made me feel better.

"I'm fine," I said. He looked down and swatted at an imaginary fly.

"I didn't think they'd say that," he said. "I just wanted to help." After I'd thought about it, I realized they others were being completely reasonable. Really, I was more surprised by how Malik handled their dissent. He didn't act like their leader. He acted like he didn't even feel worthy to be part of the pride.

"They're right. You have your own problems. You can't drop everything and run off to help me," I said. I could still hear them arguing in the distance, and I wondered what they were saying.

"Do you mind if I come in?" Malik asked. I felt a prick of amusement that he was asking for permission to enter his own home, but I appreciated his concern.

"Of course. I'd like that," I said. He settled down next to me and I savored the closeness and the heat that emanated from him.

"I don't know what to do," he said. It sounded more like a confession, a confession he'd wanted to make for a long time. I was reminded again that lions aren't always what they appear. Simba looked so much like his father, but he had nothing of Mufasa's authority or presence. Malik may have looked like a ferocious king, but I didn't know at all what he was really like.

"You have to do what's best for your pride, that's all," I said, pointing out the obvious. His eyes filled with uncertainty and worry before he spoke.

"I don't know what that is," he said. It was so sudden and heartfelt I didn't know what to say, and he went on. "I can't let them know, but I don't know how to lead them. They think I'm like my father. He was a great king. He always knew what to do. I can't do what he did. I second-guess and I worry about what's going to happen to them. I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm terrified I'm going to keep letting them down."

I stopped to gather my thoughts before I spoke. What Malik was saying was important and sensitive. Whatever happened, I wanted to make sure I said the right thing. While I thought, I nestled closer to him and curled my tail around him, trying to express with my body the words I wasn't sure I knew. When Malik saw I wasn't going to say anything, he went on.

"I can't believe I'm even saying all this. You're the one that's stressed, not me. I guess I just felt like you're the only one I could tell. I can't let the others know," he said. I couldn't bear to see him so upset. In the short time I'd known him, I'd never seen Malik be anything but selfless and kind. He deserved better than this.

"You're a good king," I said. He looked up at me and I saw confusion mix with worry.

"How would you know?" he asked. And then I knew what to say.

"I know because I see your pride. They're healthy and they're safe. Where I come from, we're all afraid. We're hungry and we always have to watch for skulking hyenas. We have no cubs because no one wanted to bring life into that world. Here, the cubs are happy. You're well fed and you're prosperous. Most important, they can trust you. They don't fear and hate their king. They trust him enough to know they can disagree with him and he'll listen. I see how conflicted you are and I know it's because your greatest desire is to protect them. You're not a weak king. You're a good king," I said. So long ago, I'd taken it for granted that kings did what was good for their prides and that they were safe. After Scar, I could see how rare and valuable kings like Malik were, and I wished he could see how much I admired him.

"But I want to help you. They don't want to. How do I know what's right?" he asked. All my praise wasn't enough to raise his spirits, even if he was sitting a little taller. He wasn't focused on that. He was focused on me- on how he could help me and his pride. His own doubt and fear were superseded by his royal duties. I had never seen such selflessness, and resolution hardened within me.

"You've already given me everything I need. You took me in and you gave me a new family. I've come this far. I will find a solution. Until then, I would be honored to call myself part of your pride. Nothing would make me happier," I said. The last sentence was a slight exaggeration. Helping my pride would have made me happier. But the lie was worth in when I saw the joy in Malik's face. His golden mane framed a shocked, delighted smile, and he looked as bright as the sun above us.