Chapter 9: Heartbreak
Grief is in the mind. I can order the tears to dry and the shaking to stop. I can stand tall and spin serenity around me with no more than a thought, at least in this place where thought is all and creates all.
But grief is in also in the body—even an imaginary one. The shuddering, gulping loss still drags broken nails across the inside of me, scratching and plucking and rasping an endless refrain of all that’s been ripped away.
But even the relentless intensity of grief grows dull after a time. It backs into a corner and lets the mind slowly start to churn once more.
I can’t wait that long—I have to push with all my might to make the space to think. And what I think is this: Ash isn’t coming back.
It’s a while before I can scrape together enough space for the ne
