LOVING MY BEAST

REGRETS AND REPERCUSSIONS 1

I wanted to hug her and comfort but I knew she needed to let it all out. I have to get to the bottom of this in order to relieve her. “I love you, Alex, I really do, I don’t know why I love you so damn much but I do. How far will you break me because of this love?” She continued to cry with tears streaming down her face.

The sight of her made my heart clench I took a small breath and chose my words carefully. “I had no right to treat you the way I have. You’re right you have the right to choose what you want. Everything you said is about me is true. I am the worse type of human to ever walk this earth. I understand if you want to pack and leave me for good. I won’t stop you… but I could tell that isn’t the only reason you’re in this state. Right now you might as well start that engine and run me over than leave me with this haunting question of ‘why our in so much pain?’ because it would make no difference.”

She fell to the ground and leaned her head against the rear end of the car. She was quiet while she stared at the floor. She seemed to be in deep thought. She sniffled and let out a breath to quell her anger enough to at least explain. She began to speak “It was after our exchange...”

I felt like I was hit with a thunderbolt as she narrated the entire thing. I was speechless when she was done. I couldn’t find the words. I could only move aside and watch her drive off. When the shock faded anger pain and frustration took over. “What have done?”

I ran my hand through my hair. I felt like going crazy. I had to take my anger out on something and I did. “Before I could catch myself I hand punched a hole in the glass of one of my many expensive cars. I couldn’t even feel the pain in my state of mind. At least four of my prized cars were badly damaged but it wasn’t enough to quell the seething beast within me.”  I went to my minibar and picked out a number of bottles. Got wasted and started to thrash the minibar. All I could see was red. I was in pain over my loss, angry with myself, and frustrated at my action. Karma really is a b***h.

The servants tried to calm me but it was no use. I got into the only car that I could not damage due to its strong body. I got into it and drove off. To where? I don’t know. I just drove at a crazy speed with nowhere in mind. It’s a surprise I didn’t crash.

The fact that she still managed to love me after all this. She really has endured. She really is a strong and forgiving woman. She was able to endure all the things I have done to her, suffering the repercussions alone. Going as far as to forgive me and move on with me, a selfish jerk who only cares about what he wants.

I reach my favorite spot to relax. It is a personal property I bought. The area was nice and it was a clean and serene beach. I got in and drown myself in alcohol. A week past and I was in a state worse than I have ever been. My hair was disheveled my eyes were swollen and red, the house was a mess, beer bottles all over the place without any servant around.

I threw my phone in the ocean after its constant ringing set me off. I sat on the living room couch and stared at the television with full concentration. That’s fine you say but the television wasn’t even working. I busted the screen after throwing a baseball at it.

My stare down was interrupted by the doorbell. I was already annoyed as it is. I lay down on the couch and placed my arm over my forehead. Hopefully, they get tired and leave me alone to brood in self-hatred.

After a few rings, I heard the sound of keys rattling. They are only three idiots in this universe who know about this place and have a spare key. I felt a presence hovering around me.

I slightly opened one. An annoying soul with a smile and a shine in his eyes. I click my tongue and returned to self-brooding.