Ana's therapist

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The dark, hollow night passed by and the sun rose. When it did, I stood up from the ground where I had spend the past few hours crying and sobbing. I washed my self, removed every inch of dirt from my body and then went to school with my driver. My naked eyes were red, and they were narrowed down when I entered school. I didn’t want to go anywhere and I didn’t want to see anyone, I was afraid of what Rosalie was going to do with those pictures.

My heart was frightened and so was I. The need of talking to her increased and I went to her class. She was sitting on the corner with her small girl gang and she was laughing with them while I was crying from the inside. My heart was wrenching with pain and I wanted someone to ease it.

When Rosalie saw me, the smile on her face faded away and her laughter was long gone. She got up and motioned her friends to wait for her. They all shared a disgusting look with each other after seeing and Rosalie finally stepped out of the room.

“What do you want?” She questioned which chewing her gum and playing with her hair. I wasn’t angry at her but I didn’t want her to send anyone those pictures.

“Why did you send Chase those pictures?” I asked Rosalie without even raising my tone but she still got anger. A groan slipped of her lips and she rolled her eyes.

“Because I want everyone to know that you are a w***e!” She exclaimed.

I gulped, “Please, can you delete them and not send them to anyone.” Whatever came out of my throat was a literal beg that she choose to ignore. I was at the verge of crying in front of everyone and I didn’t want to do that.

“Only if you give me what I want,” she smirked, coming more closer to me. I knew what she wanted but I didn’t have any of it right now.

“I’ll give it to you,” I replied after a moment of thinking. She wanted money and my parents had a lot of it. I could get some of it and give it her. Then she’d delete my pictures and I wouldn’t have to think about him again and again.

“Fine, I want 10k, in a week.” She smiled and I gasped on that amount.

“Wait — I...can’t. That’s a lot!” I exclaimed.

“Then everyone will know what kind of w***e you are,” Rosalie smiled and then she turned back to her. I glared at her that day, for as long as I could remember those pictures.

I went to my French class and sat down quietly. The teacher began to start teaching and my eyes gazed out of the window, into the empty field. The seat behind where Chase usually sat was empty. He wasn’t there today or maybe he just didn’t want to come sit with me.

I felt alone.

Really alone.

I wanted to cry loudly somewhere. I wanted someone to held me and love me. I wanted love from someone. I wanted to be cherished. I didn’t want to be like this for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I was tried.

Really tired of everything.

For the past four years, this has been happening. Drugs, tears and blood. Nothing else.

When the sickening feeling rose up in my stomach, I rushed out of school and called my driver to take me back home. Thankfully, my parents weren’t home or else they would have questioned me.

————————

Later that evening, my mother walked into my room and her gaze fell on me. I was sitting in front of the window and looking up at the moon.

“May I know the reason of why you came back from school?” My mother asked. She didn’t even think about embracing me or making me feel alright. She just cared about herself and her stupid useless life.

“Because I felt sick,”

“Well, you shouldn’t have gone in the first place!” She exclaimed. I got up from the ground and walked towards her.

“Please leave, I’m not in a mood for an argument.” I stated while raising my finger up towards the door. I hadn’t been this rude to my mother but now she was making me mad. For a minute, she’s all sweet and then she’s all selfish.

“Keep your volume low, Ana. And obey me,” she instructed and I narrowed down my eyes out of shame. She really knew how to control me and that was the worst part.

“That’s good,” she patted my head. “I’ll call the school tomorrow and you can go when you feel better,” she added before walking out.

I wrapped my hands around my shoulders and my claw dig deep into my flesh. As I saw her disappear into thin air, I scratched myself hardly until blood didn’t pour out of my skin. I had three scratches going down from my arm to my elbow.

I closed my eyes and brushed away what she had just blabbered. She was a wicked woman and she still is one.

Nothing will ever change her!

The next morning, instead of going to school, I was taken to Dr. Wilson. I requested my father the night earlier to book an appointment with him because I didn’t feel great. Thankfully, he did. But now I was more terrified because he had seen me smoking with Chase.

During the ride to the house where Dr. Wilson lived, Chase called me and I picked it up without feeling anything.

“Hey...” I trailed off while biting my nails and chewing them off out of anxiety.

“You didn’t come to school?” He inquired.

“No, I don’t feel well,” I replied.

“Where are you now?” He asked. He had probably heard the sirens and the voice of the car.

“I’m going to my therapist,” I stated. “I won’t come to school til a few days,”

“Why? Is it about the pictures?” He asked, I heard him shuffle around and sigh. “I’m sorry, I should have listened to you before calling you anything. I know I have hurt you, please forgive me. It wasn’t intentional, but seeing those pictures made me angry.” Chase explained, his voice contained a bit of remorse and I was far more than satisfied with his apology.

“It’s okay,” I smiled. At least someone was back to me.

“Can you meet me at my house after your appointment?” He asked. His question made me wonder whether he went to school or not. It was going to be 10 AM in just a few minutes.

“Aren’t you at school?”

“No,”

“Then how did you know I didn’t come?” I asked with confusion lacing in my tone.

“Because I asked my friend and he told me your weren’t there,” Chase replied in calm tone.

I nodded my head, “Fine, I’ll come, bye!” After that I cut off the call and switched off my phone. No one was going to disturb me while I was in my appointment with Dr. Wilson.

Albert dropped me off by his house and told me he’d be back in a hour once the appointment was finished. Every therapy session was of one hour and usually I spoke...about a lot of things.

I walked inside and registered my name before going inside and meeting my favorite man, Dr Wilson. Job or not, at least he acted like he cared for me.

“Good morning, Ana, take a seat.” He said as I stepped inside. This time he was sitting far away from my seat and it made me depressed. I wanted him to sit beside me. A soul closer to me made me feel better for some reason.

I sat down anyways, I couldn’t argue much, after all, he was just my therapist. Nothing else, nor he could be.

“How are you feeling today?” Dr. Wilson inquired. His voice is exactly the same, professional and calm regardless of how much I have spoken to him about my life. It made me realize that people do life for themselves. It was just his profession.

My own voice burned my throat as I began to speak, “I don’t feel good,”

Dr. Wilson shuffled around, his leg fell from the other one and he came by my side after seeing me all wretched and sad. Grief had wrapped me from all four corner and it was getting difficult to escape from it ever since Chase told me those things.

I wasn’t a w***e.

“What happened?” He asked in a worried tone that I don’t re—call ever hearing. His melodic voice made its way to my gloomy head and I jolted away from my dreadful thoughts. I titled my head up, glancing at his beautiful face.

“My friend called me a w***e yesterday,” I trailed off, narrowing my eyes back down to my skirt as my eyes glaze with water.

I loved wearing skirts for some reason, they made me feel free and my mother despised them as they weren’t ethical.

“Why?” He whispered. “That guy you were with earlier in the mall?” His question forced me to c**k my head back to him.

“Yes, but please don’t tell anyone that I was with him. Especially my parents, they don’t like him at all,” I stated out of fear. I move my hands forward out of defense. Fear always weakened me.

“I won’t, but if your parents are saying something maybe you should consider listening to them. They aren’t always wrong,” He explained. I breathe in, taking whatever he said into my head.

My lips parted open to say something in reply but I had no words. He was right. Maybe that’s why my parents warned me about Chase, because he wasn’t a good man.

I licked my lips, “I know, but I just like him. He makes me feel safe until he—”

I was cut off by Dr. Wilson. “Until he called you a w***e?” He asked.

And I nodded my head. My eyes lingered around the room because I didn’t want to look into someone’s eye.

“Is it upsetting you?” Dr. Wilson asked.

“Yeah,” I responded in a low tone.

“Why did he call you that?”

I shrugged, not wanting to say the actual reason behind his statement. “I don’t really know,”

I did though.

After a moment of silence, Dr. Wilson spoke again. “You’re lying,”

I wanted to mentally slap my head but I avoided harming myself in front of my own therapist. He wouldn’t take a second to shove me inside a mental hospital.

“He found some of my picture and he thought I was a w***e, but he apologized later,” I stated.

“So what is making you worried?” Dr. Wilson asked. I stopped fidgeting with my skirt and I glanced up to him.

“I don’t know,”

Dr. Wilson got up and walked towards the table where water was kept. He filled up a glass and said, “What is your friend is going to you is a form of mental abuse. Hurting you till your heart aches and then apologizing later on can really mess up your mental health. It’s best recommend to avoid friendships that contain manipulation and pain,”

He gave the glass of water to me. I took all of it all and gulped it down in one go.

“But he’s the only person I can trust...” I trailed off. Dr. Wilson sat back down and I kept the glass behind me. My throat was no longer dry and I wanted to talk more now.

“They are many opportunities, Ana, don’t tie yourself to only one person who’s eventually going to ruin your life.” Dr. Wilson said in an ignorant tone.

My breath hitched in my throat when he said that Chase was only going to ruin my life.

“Okay, something else, I don’t want to talk about Chase,” I shook my head and exclaimed with my hands high up in the air.

There was something else troubling me a lot too than just Chase.