Hiraeth: The return of the Queen

One,parttwo

At first, things didn't look suspicious. Presents were presented to both Jonathan and I who didn't look like he did half of what I did as preparation. He was with father, just as always and both men sat by a table with a few guests with them as they dined together. Jonathan and I never spoke to each other, even as twins. We got no opportunities to spend time together as he was always with my father, learning his ways and I was always with my mother, learning to be the best woman I could ever be. It was as if we weren't connected at all and he didn't try, not even once, to speak to me even when he knew he was his mother's favourite child and she would do anything for his happiness. We lived in the same building but in different parts and only got to meet during dinnertime and sometimes coincidentally in parts of the mansion.

That was till I got to speak with my twin on our birthday and even though he only said a sentence, it left me in happiness because he did and confusion because I didn't understand him. I remembered that line like I did to my name 'I hope the right one chooses you'. He then placed a kiss on my cheek and walked away. I couldn't follow him to ask what he meant, it was considered wrong, and doing that in the presence of at least one hundred people would get me a lot of trouble.

I was taken by my mother and side by side, we welcomed every guest. I then noticed that most of them happened to be men with just a few women that were at least my mother's age. They eyed me with every chance they could and whispered things to one another. I got more questions that day than I had in my entire life. Most of them were directed to my mother and some at me when it was related to my likes and dislikes. Still, I didn't understand what it was all about.

Minutes later, both my parents were out of sight. Jonathan was busy speaking to other men to notice his parent's absence but that being my only protection from the hungry eyes around me, I took a walk around to find Mother. It wasn't the easiest thing to do. Wherever I went, eyes trailed after me like they were watching my every step.

However, I gracefully left the hall in search of my mother. At that point, I feared something bad had happened to her. She wasn't the type to leave during gatherings as important as that was and I knew only something or someone worth it could make her leave. My senses clicked and the first place I went to was my father's office. The place where delicate conversations were held. If it meant that much to both of them, it could only be discussed in Father's office.

My thoughts didn't fail me. I heard noises a few feet away from the door and sped up my movement. I was walking into trouble, that would lead to grave consequences and I did it with my eyes wide open, well aware. The more I tried to turn away and act like nothing happened, the more I wanted to know what was going on

I broke my mother's first rule by peeking through the peephole. Standing there were my parents with one of the men I welcomed earlier. They seemed to be in a heated argument with my mother's face red in anger and father's thick eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. The man, however, had a devilish smirk on his face.

"Listen here Katherine," He said, referring to my mother by her first name "It's either you give me the girl or I go in there and tell everyone your little secret and you know how much that would do to your reputation, don't you?"

"No peasant like you will marry my daughter, not while I'm alive"

"Peasant?" He laughed "I'm not the one selling my daughter out in a lame excuse for a birthday party. Now, it's either you let me have the girl or these proud idiots will know the real truth and I'm sure you don't want anyone knowing she's not your daughter"

I made two shocking discoveries that day. First, my eighteen birthday wasn't the day I would get freedom. It was the day I would be married off to anyone who had enough money to have me. I finally understood what my brother said, he too knew what was meant to happen that night and didn't say anything about it. My parents, the ones I thought so much of, wanted to sell me off and as if that wasn't enough, they weren't my parents and Jonathan wasn't my brother.

I walked away without a single tear in my eye. The anger bubbling inside me surfaced in all the emotions I had inside. I was mad at my parents for all they had done and to Jonathan because he knew what was meant to happen that night. I guess he also knew I wasn't his actual sister and that probably explained why he never spoke to me. I was just an investment to them, like a piece of gold ready to be sold. They didn't care about me like they did to Jonathan and it hurt to think that all those years I spent obeying their every word was just because of the money they were going to get at the end.

My entire life was a lie.

I got back to the party with rage in me. Breathing fast with my heart thumping in my ribcage, I took off my heels and ran into the gathering like a lunatic. I stood in the middle of the whole crowd and did one thing I never thought I would in my entire life.

I yelled 'None of you arrogant bastards are having me tonight! So you should go home and think about how much of a fool you are to gather yourselves here to buy an eighteen-year-old!"

Everyone parted ways for me as I walked out. I only heard gasps and whispers around me, no one dared speak back to me, not even Jonathan. I kept my eyes glued to the exit of the hall with every step I took. I feared looking at anyone in the eye would make me feel remorse for what I did and that was the last thing I wanted.

Then that was when I realized, there was nothing anyone could do. The worst that would happen was my parents yelling at me and that did happen, a few minutes after I settled in my bedroom. The answer was right before me and I'd been blind all the previous years. I was free to do whatever I wanted in the mansion. If I didn't obey them the way I did before, none of those grown men would want to spend so much on me so that was what I did.

I became the worst version of myself. I started missing my beauty sessions, I would sneak around the house at midnight and steal some food to eat, I let my hair down whenever I wished, walk around with no shoes on, cut the sleeves of my dresses, and sing as loud as I could, burped in the dining hall and every single rebellious act my mind could muster.

I started gaining weight, my roots became ginger red and my blue eyes looked more alive than the pale dull ones I was used to. My character was considered bad but my body and spirit finally looked alive. It had gotten the spark it needed and even though I was confined in the walls of the McCain mansions, I felt free.

Months passed by and I would wake up to Mother yelling every day until one day, it stopped. I thought something had happened to both my parents and really, I didn't care or think much about it. I bathed myself and wore one of the dresses I'd beautified with my scissors and stood before the mirror like I did every day. The ginger roots had grown to my ears, making my hair a curly mix of blonde and red. The blonde was a daily reminder of how my life used to be and with nothing else to do, I pulled out my scissors and cut it off.

I was done with the last strand when my mother barged into the room and that was the angriest I ever saw her but she didn't say a word. She slammed the door shut and almost immediately, the door was open again and a bunch of suited men walked in. I was held down like an animal and carried out of my bedroom.

The last words I heard Mother say were 'I hope you learn your lesson'

That was the last time I ever laid my eyes on Katherine Oliva Shaw.