The Colleague’s Question
1465 Words
The office holiday party was in full swing by the time Sophia arrived.
She’d tried to skip it. Told herself she had too much work. The Dawson divorce was heating up and there were depositions to prepare for. But Linda had cornered her in the break room that afternoon with a look that said skipping wasn’t an option.
“One hour,” Linda had said. “Show your face. Have a drink. Prove to everyone you’re not actually a robot.”
So here Sophia was, standing in the corner of the rented event space, holding a glass of wine she wasn’t drinking, watching her coworkers get progressively louder and more relaxed.
The decorations were aggressive. Twinkling lights everywhere. A massive Christmas tree in the corner. Someone had even hired a Santa. A grown man in a cheap red suit is taking selfies with tipsy associates.
Sophia checked her watch. Fifteen minutes down. Forty-five to go.
“There you are!”
Priya appeared at her elbow, champagne glass in hand, She was wearing a sparkly red dress and a Santa hat that kept sliding over one eye.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. You’re hiding.”
“I’m not hiding. I’m observing.”
“That’s just a fancy word for hiding.” Come on. Marcus from accounting is doing karaoke. It’s amazing. Terrible, but amazing.”
“I’m good here.”
“Sophia. It’s a party. You’re supposed to have fun. That’s literally the point of parties.” Priya took a sip of champagne. “You know what fun is, right?”
“Very funny.”
“I’m serious. When was the last time you actually had fun? Like real fun, not work fun.”
Sophia took a sip of wine to avoid answering. The question was too close to what Maya had asked her.
“See? You can’t even remember.” Priya wrapped her arm around Sophia’s. “Come on. One song. Then you can go back to being antisocial.”
Before Sophia could protest, Priya was dragging her toward the karaoke setup. Marcus was butchering “All I Want for Christmas Is You” and people were cheering him on anyway.
“I’m not singing,” Sophia said firmly.
“I know. You’re going to stand here and drink and pretend you’re not having a good time while secretly having a good time.”
Sophia smiled. “That’s very specific.”
“I know you.” Priya handed her a fresh glass of wine. “You act all serious and professional but I’ve seen you laugh at office memes. You’re secretly fun. You won’t admit it.”
“I’m not secretly anything. I’m exactly what you see.”
“Nope. I don’t buy it.” Nobody is that buttoned up all the time. You’ve got to have hobbies or interests or something.”
“I like my job.”
“Your job is not a hobby. What do you do when you’re not working?”
Sophia thought about her empty apartment. She spends her evenings on her laptop. Her weekends looked exactly like her weekdays.
“I go to the gym sometimes.”
“That doesn’t count. What else?”
“I read.”
“What kind of books?”
“Business books. Marketing strategy. Crisis management case studies.”
Priya stared at her. “Those are workbooks. They don’t count either.”
“Why not?”
“Because a hobby is supposed to be something you do for fun. Not something that helps your career.” Priya took another sip of champagne. She was definitely tipsy now. “You never talk about anything personal. Ever. I’ve worked for you for two years and I don’t know anything about you.”
“You know everything about me.”
“I know you’re good at your job. I know you drink black coffee and skip lunch and work late at night. But I don’t know anything real. Like where you’re from. Or if you have family. Or what you do on weekends.”
The observation stung. Sophia took a long drink of wine.
“I’m from Colorado originally. I have a sister. And I work on weekends.”
“See? That’s something. Colorado. Are you going home for Christmas?”
“My sister’s getting married. I’m going to the wedding.”
“Oh my god, that’s so exciting! When is it?”
“Christmas Eve.”
“That’s so romantic. Christmas wedding. Where?”
“At this lodge where my family used to go. It’s in the mountains.”
Priya’s eyes lit up. “That sounds amazing. Are you excited?”
“Sure. Excited.”
Priya tilted her head, studying Sophia’s face. “You don’t sound excited. You sound like you’re going to a funeral.”
“I’m excited. I just have a lot of work to do before I leave.”
“You always have a lot of work to do. That’s not an excuse.” Priya’s champagne made her bold. “Is there something wrong? With your family?”
“No. Everything’s fine.”
“You don’t talk about them. Ever. That usually means something.”
Sophia finished her wine. “It doesn’t mean anything. I’m just private.”
“Private is one thing. But you’re completely closed off.” Priya leaned closer. “You can tell me if something’s wrong. I won’t judge.”
“There’s nothing wrong. My family is fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
“Okay.” Priya didn’t look convinced. “But just so you know, it’s okay if everything isn’t fine. You don’t have to be perfect”
Before Sophia could respond, someone called Priya’s name. A group from marketing called her over.
“I should go. But think about what I said, okay? Life is short. Have some fun.” Priya squeezed Sophia’s arm. “And maybe try talking to people.”
She bounced off toward the marketing group, champagne sloshing.
Sophia stood there alone, holding her empty wine glass.
You never talk about anything personal.
The words echoed in her head.
Was that true? She talked to people. She had conversations. She was polite and professional and engaged.
But Priya was right. She didn’t talk about anything real. Didn’t share anything that mattered. When had she become so closed off?
She knew the answer. Seven years ago. When her father was arrested and her life fell apart and she learned that letting people in only led to pain.
It was easier to keep everyone at a distance. Less complicated.
But also lonelier.
Sophia looked around the party. People are laughing. Hugging. Taking selfies together. Genuinely enjoying each other’s company.
When was the last time she’d felt that kind of easy connection with someone?
She couldn’t remember.
Her phone buzzed. A text from Maya.
Are you at your office party? Having fun?
Sophia looked at the message. Thought about lying. Saying yes, she was having a great time.
Instead, she typed: I’m here. Not sure about the fun part.
Maya’s response came quickly.
Classic Soph. You’re probably standing in a corner alone aren’t you?
How do you know that?
Because I know you. Try talking to someone. You might like it.
Sophia almost laughed. First Priya, now Maya. Everyone apparently thought she needed to be more social.
I talk to people.
The work people don’t count. REAL people.
My coworkers are real people.
You know what I mean. People who aren’t colleagues or clients. People you actually connect with.
Sophia didn’t respond. Because Maya was right. She didn’t connect with anyone. Not anymore.
Another text from Maya.
Three weeks until you’re home. I can’t wait to see you. For real. Not just a quick visit where you’re on your phone the whole time. Actually, SEE you.
Sophia’s throat felt tight.
I’ll be there. I promise.
I know. Love you.
Love you too.
Sophia put her phone away and looked around the party one more time.
Priya was laughing with the marketing team. Marcus was attempting another song. Linda was talking to the partners, wine glass in hand.
Everyone looked relaxed. Happy. Present.
Sophia felt like she was watching through glass. Close enough to see but not close enough to touch.
She set down her wine glass and grabbed her coat.
She’d stayed an hour. That’s what Linda asked for. She’d done her duty.
Now she could go home. Back to her empty apartment. Back to work. Back to the life she’d built that looked good on the outside but felt hollow on the inside.
As she was about to leave Priya stopped her from leaving and pleaded that she stay a little longer, Sophia thought about what Priya had said earlier and decided to stay.
Is she antisocial?
And how will she change it?
- Writer
