My Christmas Romance

Chapter 7: The first kiss

The ride home was utterly quiet. I was wondering what was going on in his mind after hearing everything I told him. Is he going to see me as weak? Does he see me as a coward now like everyone else. I looked at him hoping I could find any emotions in them but this man was lost in his own world. Does he still know I am here?. What is so painful that he couldn't talk about his wife. Is she dead??? Oh my God. That is the only reason he wouldn't want to say anything. He's still grieving and I don't want to be the reason he stops honoring his dead wife.

"Hey..Are you okay?". He asked me. That was when I realised that he has been looking at me.

"Yeah I am good. But are you okay?. You haven't said a word since we left the restaurant."

"Claire, ...." He hesitated for a while before speaking again.

"We should definitely meet up again. You deserve to be happy". He said

I could see myself blushing at those words. I was falling for this man too deeply than I could realise. I looked at him, those beautiful eyes were calling me, his lips were pinker now than before. I felt so drawn to him and before I knew what was happening my lips were on his lips.

I could have held back, I could have stopped this, but every part of me wanted this. I kissed him like it was my first time. I don't know why I let my emotions take over me but at this point I am tired of following the rules. This is what I want and I am taking it.

I let out a loud groan, this lady was killing me. I knew it was because of the pain she felt and all the rush of emotions. But before I could think of any of that, my brain was already reacting and my lips were working on her mouth. She kissed me so deeply I almost started fondling her breast. I could see her n****e standing through the shirt she was wearing, they were begging for attention and that was so tempting. I felt my crotch bulge so hard I thought it was going to burst. I can't touch her, not now. I love what we have already and I don't want to spoil this thing we have started. I want to get to know her more, I want to actually be someone that cares and loves her like nobody ever has. I want her to trust me with all her secrets. She's beautiful and I want her to know she's beautiful not because of s*x but because she is. Then I want to make her my wife.....fuck!!!! I am too deep in my feelings now. I held her and stopped her before anything we both regret happens.

She looked embarrassed and before I could say anything, she was gone.

"Goodnight" she said as she walked away hurriedly.

I entered my apartment feeling so stupid. I thought he wanted me but I was just so in my feelings that I keep making the same mistakes again. I didn't want to think of him that way, I know he's a good person. Those words he told me.

"Urghh" I stomped my feet on the ground. I can't get him out of my head. Every single word he told me made me horny. I could feel myself moist and wet. It's a good thing I have a vibrator.

I laid on my bed imagining he was with me. I recalled all the moments we had. How he kissed my hands and comforted me when I opened up to him. I moved my vibrator up to my c******s. I thought about him licking me and touching me. If he was next to me he would make me scream in voices I can't pitch. I moan as I open up wider and put the vibrator inside me.

"Oh yes William." I said out loud. I was so wet and as I thought more about him being hard on me at the dance class, I got close to coming.

I dipped the vibrator more inside me imagining how deep his p***s would go inside me. I gave in, all my body was shaking as I scream....

"Yes, yes, yessss," I came hard on my vibrator.

By the time I got home, Annabel was asleep already and I didn't want to wake her up.

I went to my bar room to drink. I wanted to clear my head so I could think straight. I haven't been thinking straight since I met this girl. I am in love with her but there are somethings I am holding inside me that needs to go. All those pain I feel, I feel like I do not deserve any good thing in my life right now that is especially Claire. She's such a sweetheart and I know who I am or rather who I was. I don't want to be the same person I was to my wife to her. I had gone for counselling and had helped myself get better but I was too scared to try another relationship.

I can't hurt her, I want to be the one giving her joy not pain. I am full of grief for what I did to my wife.

.........."William, are you home?" Mary asked.

I was drunk and wasted that night.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself. William we have to talk this out" she said.

"Mary, you really want to talk about it..? You are a f*****g whore.. That's what you are and we are not talking about any of this. Just leave me alone."

I had just found out that night that she slept with my best friend while I was away. This was unlike Mary and it kept me wondering why. But I was to upset to want to talk about it. We haven't been in good terms for sometime and that affected our love making but I never for once cheated because I was faithful and loyal to our vows. She threw all that away and slept with my best friend, My Best friend!!!.

"William...I..." she tried to speak but her cut her short.

"Don't Mary, I don't want to hear of how much pleasure you had with him. You disgust me right now..." I hissed as I pushed her out of the way.

I drank some more drink in a rush that it burned my chest...Maybe I was hoping it could burn the past away. I looked at the bottle and sighed. I am not supposed to be drinking again. I put the bottle back in the shelve.

I am going to make this work. I thought to myself. God is giving me another chance and I am not throwing it away. I took my phone to text Claire but I retreated on a second thought, I want to make her feel special, I want to have this night over and over again with her. I smiled to myself as I thought about the kiss we shared. That was my best moment yet.