My Christmas Romance

Chapter 14: Exposed

When I got home after what happened with Claire, I felt hurt. All my past experiences with Mary kept playing back in my head. I had tried to move past it but it seems like everything happening now keeps reminding me of how bad our relationship had turned out. I felt bad that I let Claire down but every iota of hope I had before, died after seeing her kiss that guy. I didn't know how to feel. I didnt know if I should hate myself or feel sorry for myself.

I took out a bottle of whiskey to kill the pain I was feeling when Sarah walked out.

"William... why are you home so late?" She asked and when she saw me with the drink, she looked at me pitifully.

"What did she say?" She asked.

"She didn't want me around. She didn't want to listen to me and she's moved on."

"What do you mean move on?"

"She was kissing another guy Sarah. She seemed happy. I can't give that to her and I am glad that she is" I poured a glass and drank it.

"William..you don't have to do this to yourself."

"Why?? It's not like I have anything to lose anymore"

"You have your daughter and your sanity is important to you too. Just go to bed and we would talk when your head is clear" she took away the drink and kept it in the shelve.

"I can't sleep. I just ....." I broke down in tears

".....shhhhh....It's okay willie. I gat you.."

She hugged me and took me upstairs to my bedroom to sleep..

"You are going to feel better tomorrow and we are going to figure this out okay?"

"Goodnight Willie"

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I went for a run the next morning to clear my head off everything that happened. I kept thinking about William and the more I did, the more I longed for him and the more I try not to think of him, it just make me feel worse. I can't get him off my mind. I also was thinking about the s*x I had with Micheal. That was part of the reason I went for a run because I didn't know if it would complicate things between us. It's supposed to be with no attachment, just two grown ups having s*x. So why do I feel different and a little bit connected to him. Was I actually falling for him. I think I am having an emotional crisis.

It was 9:55 am, and i just got home from my morning jog. I am guessing he's awake already but I just wasn't ready to face him so I stayed downstairs for a while.

"Having man trouble?" Clara asked. She just came downstairs to get coffee.

"No I'm not"

"So why are you lingering downstairs?"

"I can be wherever I want to be, I guess."

"You know, I have actually been wondering how you two started dating. I knew about you and Steve. But this one just seems strange a little bit to me"

"Why don't you focus all your energy on your marriage tomorrow and let me handle my business hmm"

"Who was that guy yesterday? Ex..??? Are you cheating on Micheal?"

"Who's cheating??" My mum walked in on us

"Nobody" I said.

"Claire, do you have a dress for tonight's dinner?". She asked

"Yes I do mum."

"Good, I don't want you dressing inappropriate tonight".

Like I ever do. Everyone expects so much from me that they forget that I also have feelings and opinions. That's what my mum does to me ever since I left to New York. And they were just the right people to take my mind off my misery.

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"Daddy can we have this on the tree too?" Annabel and I were decorating our Christmas tree. I had just bought one in our suite this morning. It's a day to Christmas and I wanted it to be homely for us. So we decided to decorate it ourselves the way we do it.

"Yes honey, and with that we have a perfect tree" I said

"What are we going to do for Christmas, I would love to have a play house for Christmas daddy."

I smiled at how cute she looks.

"Honey, we would have to call santa and tell him"

"Did you see miss Claire yesterday? " she asked

How did she know that??

"Who told you that honey?"

"I know that's why we're here, daddy"

"You are just too smart for your age, Annabel".

"Annabel darling, Go and watch some tv, let me talk to your dad for a minute" sarah said

Annabel left to the sitting room.

"What do you pain to do now?" She asked me

"Nothing Sarah." I said

"Do you really love this girl?"

"Of course I do"

"Then fix this and stop behaving like a Coward. If you really love her, you won't take no for an answer."

"Sarah she asked me to leave, there was nothing I could do"

"Then try again. I know she still loves you and whoever that guy is, he's just a distraction. Look here willie, you can't give up on her"

"You are an amazing guy and she needs to know this." She continued

"Am I, really?"

"Yes you are. Never doubt yourself willie. You are amazing and you gat this okay?"

"What would I actually do without you , sarah"

"What I need you to do now, is go over there and make sure you get her this time."

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It was time for the family dinner and tonight was the last night before Christmas. My Sister is getting married tomorrow and I can't be more happy, because I get to leave this place and go back to my life in New York.

"Hey are you ready?" Micheal asked me.

I have been trying to avoid him since morning, because I was already feeling weird about us. I am not ready for another man drama. Or maybe I am the one with this problem because he has been surprisingly cool and normal and hasn't even mentioned anything about yesterday.

"Yes I am. Thank you" I said avoiding his eyes.

"Hey, you look so good in that dress". He said.

"Thank you micheal. Can we leave". I said

He held my hands as I was about leaving.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked

I wasn't sure what he was talking about. I hoped that it wasn't the s*x he was asking about, not like I want to talk about william.

"Micheal..I.."

"You don't have to act good about it, Claire. I need you to know that you can talk to me about what happened between us yesterday". He said

"Isn't that what you get paid to do. You are just my Client and there's nothing to what happened yesterday." I said

He looked at me for a minute before speaking.

"I don't think there's nothing to what happened yesterday Claire. Yesterday was amazing, I know you think that's all I want with you. But meeting you has changed alot of things for me. I don't know what you do, I don't know how you do it. But anytime you walk into a room Claire, you take my breath away. I wish this vacation would actually never end because I am having the best time of my life and I don't want it to end, I don't want to leave you Claire."

I am in shock right now as I listen to this man pour out his heart to me.

"Micheal..." I gulp

"I know it's sudden, I am not asking you for anything. But I won't feel good if I never got to tell you how I feel" he said.

He's so sweet and amazing and I like him too, but then there's william. I can't seem to put myself to rest about him. I want to see him again and I actually want to hear why he came all the way from New York to see me. I had alot of questions for him

"Claire..." Micheal called back my attention.

"Micheal.." I looked at him "I...you are amazing and sweet and caring and...."

"......handsome..." he cuts in

"Yes and that too. And you are everything a woman wants . You are perfect..."

".....but not perfect for you...." he said

"No..no.. you are... I...I..don't know if I am perfect for you"

"You don't get to decide that Claire... leave that for me to decide."

He looked at me with those beautiful eyes and I can feel myself melting inside my skin. I really do like him.

"I would kiss you now, but I don't want to ruin your makeup" he said.

"That is definitely a good idea" I laughed.

"Alright then, let's go and join the rest of them"

He held my hands as we walked downstairs

Everyone was present there. Everyone I know and don't know came for my sister's wedding and as I walked into the room, everyone came to greet me and ask questions about the man by my side. I was surprised to see some old friends and people I used to know before. And Micheal was getting enough attention from the ladies in the room. I looked at him respond to everyone that came to talk to him and he sure was stealing the heart of everyone in the room.

"Hey, you good" I went to meet him where he was just discussing with some girls

"Yeah I am" he looked at me "wait.... are you jealous" he asked

"Of course not..." I said trying not to sound obvious.

"You don't have to worry" he held my waist and drew me close to him

"We can create our own kind of attention" he said

"What are you doing?"

Before I could figure out what he was doing , he kissed me deeply, intensely. I could feel everyone stopping to look at me. I sure didn't want this kind of attention but he's definitely doing me good.

"Claire.." A voice I recognise so well called out my name. I turned to face him.

"What are you doing here William?" I noticed everyone was looking at me. Why does he have to show up at awkward times.

" I need to talk to you please"

"Man back off" Micheal said, holding me closer to him

This definitely wasn't the kind of attention I needed right now.

"Micheal don't worry, I would take care of this" I looked back at William.

"Can we go somewhere to talk" he brought out his hands for me.

I took it and walked outside with him.

"William you can't keep showing up like this" I said as we got to the back of the house. I looked at his face, he looked distressed and worried. I felt pity for him, I don't know why but he really looks sad.

"Claire, I...I need to tell you something about me. Something you should know."

I looked at him wondering what it is about him that he has to say.

" Claire... I ..killed my wife" he said

"What????" I said in disbelief

"We have been having fights in our marriage. I caused most of them. I drink alot, I came home late and she felt I was cheating. I wasn't so much of a good father to Annabel, like she wanted me to be. I... I did lay my hands on her when I had drank to stupor and I didn't know what I was doing. On that fateful night, we had a big quarrel because she slept with my best friend. I was hurt and angry. I hated her so much and I drank till I couldn't hold myself anymore. I...I hit her that night. She had blood all over her..she was scared . She begged me to stop but I didn't. She took the car keys and left. She ...my daughter Annabel saw everything that happened that night. I became the worst dad and husband to the ones I love. I....I didn't go after her that night, I didn't even call her...Then the next morning, I got a call, they found a body by the river, they called me to identify if it was someone I knew. I got there and saw my wife lifeless. .....she....sh...she had killed herself, because of me." He broke down crying..

"I caused tragedy for Annabel, how can she live knowing that I am the reason her mum is dead"

Tears rolled from my eyes as I listen to him. I felt so sorry for him but I wonder if he still had that part of him.

"I haven't been able to forgive myself. I was so scared of the kind of father I was going to be to Annabel. I didn't know where to start from. I did a lot of therapy and went to rehab. I tried to change for my daughter. Its been just the two of us since then. But...but.. when you came into our lives, you changed things for us. Claire, you make me happy, you make me come alive. I never thought I would feel this way again. Claire..." he came close to me but I moved back a bit.

He knelt down and held my hands. I was broken, I can't imagine what this man has gone through. His pain, the torment of feeling he was the reason his wife is dead.

"Claire.. I was so scared to hurt you like I did to Mary. I was so scared of f*****g things up with you. I felt I didn't deserve something this good. I couldn't move past my bad memories and past traumas. I love you Claire, I never meant to hurt you, but I did. I know it's late for me to come out now and do this but I really need you to know that I love you so much"

I didn't know what to say. This man was kneeling and begging me but I am scared and confused.

"William.. I..This is all very confusing for me right now. You really hurt me and you can't just bounce in and out of my life. I have feelings too, I have emotions. You left me hanging, why didn't you tell me all these. You made me feel used. I. .I.." I cried

"Claire, I know I don't deserve you, but please give me a chance to prove to you again how much you me to me. I can't lose you. I don't want to. If there's still something in your heart for me, please let me give you a reason to keep it, please"

"William please don't do this now...I..you are always going to leave. I can't do this with you. I am sorry" At this point, I couldn't stop the tears flowing down my face.

"Claire, please...please...give me a chance. I hate myself for what I did to you. Losing you would hurt me so bad and I don't know how I am going to recover from that".

He held my hands and looked at me, I met his eyes and I was dying inside for his love, his touch. He stood up and and kissed my lips and he was so irresistible. I missed the taste of his lips and his mouth. He makes me feel different in ways no man has ever made me feel. I felt tingles and butterflies in my belly, I really fell for this man.

"Claire..." micheal walked in.

"Micheal!!" I looked at him and he looked very hurt and disappointed. He turned to leave but I stopped him

"Micheal wait" I rushed to him

"Claire.." he said

"I ...I am sorry. I..." I struggled for words

"That guy hurt you..he's going to do it again and leave you like he always does.." he said

"Claire that's not true. You have to believe me" William said as he walked to us

"And who are you that she should believe you...What do you want from her huh?? s*x?? So you can go running away again like a Coward??" Micheal said

"What I have for Claire is much more than what your small brain can comprehend. I love Claire!!!" William said

"And you do so well at proving that by always running away. Dude just stay away from her. She's done with you and she's moving on".

"Claire ..if you tell me to leave , I would." He looked at me and came closer to me "Are you really done with me? If you tell me this, then I promise I would leave you and never bother you" he said

I gulped, I couldn't say a word. I am in love with him but I can't hurt Micheal, not when he's been there for me.

"Claire..." Micheal called me "I would never hurt you like he did to you. I.."

".....back off dude. She doesn't love you. You are just a fling that she would get rid off once this is all over." William said

"Or maybe you would be the one to get rid of her and then she comes running back to me!!" Micheal shouted.

Suddenly William threw a punch at Micheal. I gasp..

"What is wrong with you!!" I shouted.

Trying to stop William, Micheal threw a punch at William, then the two of them started fighting.

"Stop it, please two of you. Stop it!!" I shouted

They started attracting attention and everyone came out to see what was going on. I kept shouting but they wouldn't listen, security had to intervene to stop them from fighting.

"What is wrong with the two of you?" I shouted

" what is happening here Claire?" My mum asked

"Take him out of here, throw him out" Micheal said

"It's time you knew your place, Micheal or whoever you call yourself. You don't belong here, you don't belong to Claire. You were hired to be here, she doesn't love you. She never would" William said

"What??? you hired a guy to be your boyfriend to my wedding?" Clara said

People started murmuring and side talking. I felt embarrassed, really embarrassed.

"Claire what is the meaning of this?? You lied to me and to everyone here. And you bring two strangers to my house to disrupt this event??" My mum said

"Yes I did!! I hired a guy to be my boyfriend, I did that because of you and all of you. Oh Claire, your sister is getting married before you, oh Claire you don't have a man yet, Claire when are you going to be serious and get a man to marry you.... This is all I hear everytime, all you guys care about is that i get married. I have a life too, and things go on in my life but nobody cares right!! I have such a high valued mother and a perfect little sister. What does that make me in the family???The one who causes a stain to this perfect family!!!

"Wow so you don't have a boyfriend?? And you two have been playing this all along??" Clara said

"Yes clara... does this confuse your tiny brain??"

"You are a disgrace to this family Claire.." my mum said and walked out

I felt a hot tingy tears fall from my eyes. My heart was broken, my mother just said what she has been dying to say to me all these while. Every eyes were on me and I felt so much like a disgrace to even myself.

"Claire..." william called me and tried to get closer to me

"Don't you even dare come close to me, don't " I cried

I ran to my room wishing the ground would swallow me