THE GAY BARTENDER

chapter twelve

The week went by slowly . I kept second guessing myself thinking that I was making a mistake in calling Maya. But everytime I pulled out my phone to call her . I thought about the fist time I saw her leaning against the bar . I felt like I could identify with her immediately. That's what made he dangerous. It was not just physical infatuation . It was the way she moved , the way she talked . Everything about her screamed discipline, hardwork and that aching need to succeed. She'd given me a taste and I wanted more and more . I spent most of the time thinking about her and not my work . Messages pilled up for two days straight, all I could do was stare into space and think how it would be to move inside her , touch her and to move her to a place where nothing else mattered apart from that feeling. That's all I wanted to do. The look in her face would be the perfect reward. That was too big a risk . It was wrong and that made it more exciting and I wanted it even more . I was pent out in my office for too long that I started to act out . It made sense considering my rigid lifestyle. This could be one of my biggest mistakes ever. But that didn't stop me . More than once I though of calling her just to hear her voice and exchange a few words or stay up all night like two hormone grazed teenagers, who couldn't get off the phone, but I knew she wouldn't have the time to talk all through.

Saturday was my day out with the boys . We would go golfing , and catch up on the athletic side of the world . Also I would sleep in untill in the noon hours . But this Saturday was different , since I had spent most of my days through the week day dreaming about Maya . I had to catch up with some work and focus. Everytime I would go down to look at my computer all I could see was Maya , as I walked up to her. She'd be smiling excited to see me. She would them wrap her arms around me and kiss me . We'd lay in bed for hours ,talking about the things we would want to do and how we wanted to make our lives much better.

We'd probably have that one night and it wouldn't be enough. But maybe it was better like that. I was an independent man. A woman would probably just hold me down. She would probably invade my space and start telling me what to do and I'll get tired of her .

By six o'clock, I was already holding my head and panicking till I forgot the load of paperwork I was supposed to go through. "What was wrong with me , I barely knew this guy and all I thought about was her. It'd been a long time and maybe this was me portraying my liking towards her.

I didn't know alot about her , only that she owned a bakery and she seemed to a hard worker and even that was not enough to lure me in . I kept thinking about how uncomfortable she seemed to be so uncomfortable.maybe she didn't like me and I was just here getting distracted for someone who doesn't even feel the same. Maybe her life was terrible , and I was talking to the wrong woman . That made everything better since at least for a split second I could stop myself from thinking about her . At around six thirty I woke up from the chair , still dazed from having to sit there for a long time. I met Mona at the top of the stairway. "What are you wearing ? "Mona wrinkleed her nose at my gray t shirt and old jeans  "I don't know " we moved to my room . "What should I wear ?"

"Something casual ,the first date is always about you trying to prove you're not a phsycho. The worst thing you do is show up with a shirt . You'll seem too into her ."

"What about this one." I pulled a grew sweater. It was a gift from my wife .

"No it's knitted , it doesn't look right." She walked into my closet moving the hangers from side to side and moving the shirts along with the hangers. "This one." She held it out for me to see. It was a simple black v-neck. "It's too small"

"That's the point, you are built like a gorilla ,show it off." Having an octogenarian telling me that was kind of wierd. She didn't seem to notice. She moved to my jeans . Something tight , but not too tight. You don't want to give away everything, on your first night ."

"That was a generational thing ."

"No it is a moral thing, but you still don't want to look like an i***t ."

She handed me a navy blue pair of fade -wash jeans. "Go try those on ,I want to see how they look on you ."

"Okay ,I felt like she was my mother. Well she acted like it  at least I thought she did. I never got to meet my mother growing up ,but I imagined she was just like Mona.

"What do you think?" I asked her as I was walking out .

Turn around and life your shirt.

"What?why do you want me to do that "

She walked right behind me and lifted my shirt. "That works."

"Are you sure my butt looks good, you sure you don't want to take another look." She walked around to face me." Now you listen to me." She pointed her index finger to my face.

"You treat that girl like there is no one else in the world apart from her. Make her feel special. And if you dare hurt her I will kill you . You understand?" I nodded my head .

"Good " she reached up to me and gave me a hug. "Now , where are you taking her ?

"Fransiscos"