I Didn't Think He Could...

Why Now? Chapter 2

Zara's POV

As Slade made the trek to our favourite spot, I let myself zone out. I have to ease myself into the heart-breaking memories of my past, so as not to overwhelm myself with the gut wrenching pain it brings. It never seemed to lessen; so I just shoved it in a metaphorical box in my mind, then into the deepest, darkest part of the metaphorical basement of my brain. I thought it seemed fitting, considering that it was the darkest day of my life. Slade slowed down to a trot, and slipped through the opening to our spot. I swear I didn't mean to rhyme... it just happens.

Our favourite place is close to the border of what once was my pack. Silver Crater. The only obstacle separating the two pack borders is a mildly flowing river that leads to a waterfall not far from our spot. Shadow Crest is now an extension of the Silver Crescent pack. Therefore, my favourite spot only switched sides. No one comes to this river. Not anymore. Patrols get close, but not close enough to really detect activity on the other side of the water. Which brings me to my next point. Silver Crescent is my new pack. When the former Alpha, Alpha Alvaro Perez, was still the active alpha of Silver Crescent, he gave me permission to join his pack. It was a grueling introduction; not to mention the "interrogation" about why the Betas' daughter, of his rival pack no less, would want to join his pack. More on that in a bit.

Slade strolled up to the river's edge for some water, and then laid down to relax for the ten minutes we had to be there. She's been tuned into my thoughts about the situation, because she too, wants to know why we're reliving our dreadful ending to our former life. Our thoughts drift back to when we left Damon's room, and into my twin brother Andres's room. I grabbed my favourite joggers of his, my favourite t-shirt of his, and my favourite pullover hoodie of his. I walked to the door after retrieving my keepsakes, and scanned his room. Tears falling on top of each other, like they couldn't escape fast enough, as I took one final scan of the closest goodbye I can give, short of in person, I began to depart. However, I couldn't without leaving a special note for him. He's the only one in my family I'm close to.

I had sat down at his desk, grabbed a pen and his notebook, and began to write.

Andres,

By the time you read this, I will already be far away from here. I found my mate today. He's Zayne. Just my luck right? I had hope, Andres. But that was very short-lived, as he rejected me almost immediately, then forced me to accept it. Not like I wasn't going to, after he rejected me, throwing what could've been away. Why would I stay? I don't understand how Ivy had, and still has so much influence over the student body. I feel if she wasn't so cunning, everyone would see me for me. But that would be wishful thinking. Even before she discovered Damon to be her mate. Why wasn't anything I said enough for reasonable doubt? But it's just not her, Zayne has his own mind, and he didn't bother using it. How did I become the laughingstock of our school? I honestly never understood. Especially becoming some kind of joke to our pack? I'm a strong warrior. I've proven that. Yet, it's so hard for anyone to give me some sort of positive recognition. I'm attractive. Sure, I'm not supermodel material, but I'm toned, strong, fierce, smart, kind-hearted, and compassionate. I'm honest and loyal. Yet, I am not enough for him. So I'm writing this to you now, because I can't stay here. I love you so much, and I wish more than anything I could tell you where I end up to begin my new life, but I can't let him find me. I won't let him find me. He and his buddies have made my life hell, along with those fake bitches that are always attached to their sides. I fear he will come looking for me, for whatever reason. I have a feeling it wouldn't be good either. It didn't seem like Blade wanted the rejection to happen, as Zayne fought so hard for control through it all. So I have to stay hidden. I can't face him again. He broke me, but I'll never let him see my tears again. I'll get stronger. I'll be better without him. So much so, one day he'll regret it, however it would be far too late by then. It already is. As a part of me died today, but another part was reborn. I'm a Phoenix, brother. I've risen from the ashes of my broken heart, and I'm taking my life in my own hands now. Maybe one day; I'll let you know where I've gone, but right now that's so far from my mind, I don't have an eta on when I will be ready. I also don't want you to unintentionally reveal my location to him, if he were to command you to tell the truth. I know you would keep my secret up until you couldn't by force, or if I ever make contact again. But I feel this is best. You wouldn't know more than anyone else would, ergo keep you away from any possible shortcomings. Thank you for always being there for me. For not turning your back on me. For defending me if you were there when it happened, and even learning about it after the fact. You don't know how much it means to me, to have you always in my corner. So please let me protect you now. I will be okay. I will survive. I'll always be better, because I could give two shits about titles. I just wanted to love, and be loved in return by my mate. Fate dealt me dirty this time around. I know I'll come out stronger than ever, and maybe even find my second chance. But right now I need to heal; and I can't do that here. I hope you understand. I hope you don't hate me for leaving. I hope you find your mate, and she's as loving, and compassionate as you. I wish you the best of luck in your upcoming training, and endeavors. You're the best warrior in my eyes, and I'm so so proud of you.

I love you. You're my hero. My twin. The best brother a sister could ask for. The best person in my life. The one who never let me down, and kept me sane. The one person I would take a silver bullet for. My rock. My warrior.

Until we meet again.

Love,

Zara

I had left the notebook open on the tear-stained yet legible page, and set it on his bed. Just to make sure it's the first thing he sees when he enters his room. I said a final goodbye to my last close relative, and closed the door behind me on the way out. I took one last look at our photos on the wall. The difference between the photos before that stupid spring break and now, are more striking now that I'm leaving for the distant foreseeable future. In my early childhood photos, we are all close knit, and smiling widely. But the photos from Ivy's destruction then on, show my family distancing themselves from me. They were smiling widely, but my smile was small. Andres was the only one to pose affectionately with me. The slight difference in space between us and the rest of the family was noticeable, though our father's hand still rested on Andres' shoulder. The pictures capture the truth behind our family dynamic. Where it started to go wrong. My mother and father never have time for me anymore. My mother and I haven't had any deep conversations since before that second semester. She only speaks with me on a basic, casual level. My dad is never home anymore. Being associated with the pack weirdo, did a number on his reputation as Beta of Silver Crater, so much so, he became cold to me. Thus, moving me to the attic, and telling me to earn my own money, yet making it close to impossible to accomplish. When he is home, I never get more than a few short responses, before he becomes so cold, and angry at my presence, that I just sigh, and go up to my room. If that's what you want to call it. So over the years, I only spoke to my parents when needed, and that wasn't very often. We mainly just stay out of each other's way. That is, unless I offended someone in the house. Mom just never did anything about it. Let it happen, without even flinching. I don't think I'll ever recognize her again.

Entirely zoned into my thoughts, I barely registered Slade getting up to start heading back to our house. I continued to mourn the relationship I lost with my parents, not yet ready to face the memory that caused me to leave. It was easier to accept the loss of my parents and Damon, because I had already accepted the fact they stopped caring about me a long time ago.Therefore, not much to miss after the early years. I mainly mourned the loss of Andres. The one who never left my side. The one person who has always been my rock. My defender. I miss him every day, and I hope that he's been doing well. I heard through the grapevine that he made Head Warrior. I was so proud of him. I am always so proud of him. I really wished I could tell him so.

Slade stretched her muscles, and began to sprint home. I remained in the back abyss of our minds. Giving her full control of our bodies. We can't seem to pin the point where these memories began to stir. It's starting to affect us noticeably, and Alpha Alvaro keeps asking me what's wrong. He really is a nice man, and coming to live in his pack was a blessing I never knew I would have.

"Maybe we should tell him," Slade murmured.

"I think we should too," I said, agreeing with her.

Slade skidded to a stop through the opening to our backyard, momentarily disappointed that she didn't spray dirt farther than she did last time, and trotted back up the back deck to shift. She's trying a new defense technique, using the earth as a weapon. I stood up from my crouch, stretching my aching body, and grabbed my robe. Stepping through the back doors, I slipped on my robe and grabbed my coffee mug from the mini fridge. I placed it under the spouts that promised my delicious will, to get up before six in the morning. I don't even like getting up at six. As I placed my mug, my ears picked up movement in my backyard. I turned my head towards the sound, and saw Alpha Alvaro emerging from the brush, already in shorts, slipping on a t-shirt. I grab my "World's Greatest Boss" mug, also from "The Office", add dark chocolate, French Vanilla creamer, and set it under the second set of spouts. His coffee immediately brews, whereas mine won't brew for another ten minutes. long enough for me to shower and get dressed. This will alter my routine a bit, but I don't know how much. That's the only thing that grinds my gears a bit. Any other time, it wouldn't, but I don't like being late for work. Although my boss is technically the one delaying me, so maybe I can milk it.

"You know you can," Slade chuckled. I giggled because she's right. Alpha Alvaro has been more of a dad to me in the past seven years, than my own father was to me in the years leading up to my "disappearance".

"Alpha," I greeted him as he stepped inside. Rolling his eyes, he chuckled. "For f**k sake woman, stop addressing me as Alpha. I know you're joking, but it's been seven years, and it still makes me cringe when you call me Alpha. Al, or even dad is acceptable, but NOT Alpha. Please! You've been family to my family since almost immediately after your arrival, to call me alpha when not in the proper setting." He says, and I laugh. Deciding not to say that only him, and his Luna treat me like family. Rafael not so much.

"Okay 'dad', to what do I owe this very early visit?" I giggle, as I place his coffee on the kitchen island seating bar/cook space. He sighs, sitting on his bar stool, contemplating his next words. "Why don't you go take your shower first. I know how irritated you get when your schedule is thrown off kilter." he said instead. I froze. He only sighs like that, when he has news he is reluctant to share. Not to mention trying to delay telling me why he is here? Something is very wrong. I'm now sensing how tense he really is. I thought it was just mine. "Al?" I asked, prodding him to continue. Only then does he look me in the eyes.

"He's coming to Silver Crescent," he finally answered.