back to her thoughts 😭
745 Words
EPISODE 2 —
When the Dice Rolls Again
Morning light leaked into Fe’s room like it was afraid to enter. The curtains were thin, the walls plain, and the air heavy. She sat on the edge of her bed, rubbing her palms together the way she always did when she felt too many things at once. Fourteen years old, and some days felt heavier than whole decades.
Downstairs, she could already hear her father. The scrape of a chair. The clatter of a mug. Silence after that. His silence always felt louder than his words.
Fe slipped on her hoodie — the one that made her feel hidden even when she wasn’t — and walked toward the kitchen.
Her father didn’t look up.
He rarely did.
He just flipped the newspaper page, pausing only to say, “You’re late.”
Fe swallowed the words she wanted to say — I was tired… I didn’t sleep… Do you even notice?
Instead, she said nothing. Talking to him always felt like trying to catch smoke with bare hands.
She grabbed a small piece of bread from the counter. No butter, no tea. Her father didn’t ask why. He didn’t ask anything.
When she stepped outside, the cold air stung her cheeks, but at least it felt real. At least it didn’t ignore her.
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At School
The hallway buzzed with chatter. Three people laughed near the lockers; two others argued cheerfully about whose pencil was missing. Fe watched from a distance — not jealous, not angry, just… tired. Like she was standing behind a glass wall watching other people live.
Then someone tapped her shoulder.
It was Tami — the only person who seemed to notice when Fe drifted through school like a quiet shadow.
“You look extra tired today,” Tami said. “You okay?”
Fe hesitated. The easy answer was “I’m fine.”
The real answer was something she didn’t know how to explain.
“I’m… here,” Fe finally said.
Tami smiled softly. “If you ever want to talk, you know I’m around, right?”
Fe nodded. She appreciated it more than she knew how to say.
But talking felt like carrying a bag of stones she wasn’t ready to open.
---
The Dice Game
During lunch, Fe sat under the old mango tree at the school’s edge — her favorite quiet place. She reached into her pocket and brought out the tiny dice she always carried. It wasn’t for games. It was something she used to make the small decisions feel less impossible.
1–2: Stay alone.
3–4: Try to join someone.
5–6: Read your book.
She rolled it onto her palm.
4.
Join someone.
Her chest tightened. That was the hardest option. But she had promised herself last week that she would try — even if the world felt too loud.
She stood up slowly, scanning the field. Tami sat with two others, laughing about something. Fe took a few steps toward them… then froze.
Her father’s voice echoed in her head: You think anyone has time for your nonsense? Focus on what matters.
She clenched her fist.
Maybe today wasn’t the day.
She turned around.
But then she heard Tami call out, “Fe! Come sit!”
Fe stopped.
Her heart didn’t know whether to leap or hide, but her feet moved before she could think. She sat beside them — quiet, small, unsure — but there.
They talked. She listened.
And for a moment, she didn’t feel like an invisible smudge on the edge of the world.
---
Back Home
Her father was at the table again when she returned.
Still silent. Still distant.
He glanced up briefly. “You’re late again.”
“School stuff,” Fe said softly.
“Hm.”
That was all.
No How was your day?
No Are you doing okay?
Nothing.
Fe went upstairs, closing her door gently so it wouldn’t annoy him.
She sat on her bed and stared at the ceiling.
But the memory of the mango tree — Tami’s voice calling her name — warmed her chest. A tiny warmth, but real.
For once, Fe didn’t feel like the dice had full control of her life.
Maybe, just maybe, she could start choosing some things for herself.
And maybe that was enough for today.
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If you want Episode 3, a longer episode, or a more intense emotional arc, just tell me!
- Writer
