A Fresh Start

The beginning of the end

it was Christmas break at school and Rico had finished up school and had received his diploma. I was only 9 weeks along so I didn't really feel pregnant other than morning sickness. Rico worked 60 to 70 hours a week and sitting around the house all day was really boring. so I decided that I was going to find me a job so I could help pay bills and buy stuff for the baby. when Rico came home from work that night I had dinner ready and waiting on the table as I always did Rico came in and kicked his shoes and socks off and left them in the middle of the living room floor, his jacket he tossed onto the back of the couch. he didn't even acknowledge that I was even in the room until he sat down at the table and barked at me, give me a cold beer! I jumped up and immediately ran into the refrigerator to get him an ice cold Budweiser and opened it up for him and brought it back to him. lately, he had been really grumpy with me and he had even hit me a few times for not moving fast enough to suit him or not having dinner on the table when he got home. he was always sorry the next day but that didn't take away the bruises that he had left that reminded me not to let it happen again. he was very moody lately and I couldn't understand why. I sat down at the table and watched him shovel in his food while I pushed mine around on my plate trying to figure out a way to bring up the subject of me working without pissing him off. honey I wanted to ask you about me getting a job, so I can help pay bills and buy stuff for the baby, I stuttered out trying to sound light and cheerful. the look on his face that it all I had pissed him off. he slammed his fist down and his plate slid knocking over his beer in the process of this he jumped up, now look what you made me do, you ungrateful little tramp, what are you trying to say that I can't afford to take care of you and a baby? he spat out venomously. I cringed as he came over. he gripped my arm and jerked me up knocking my chair over. I went as he squeezed my arm tighter, baby I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, I started out trying to get him to calm down. he looked really enraged and I was so afraid of him. he spat in my face as he said, you get this straight, the only job you will ever have is to cook, clean and take care of me. with that he slapped me across the face and pushed me away from him causing me to stumble over my turned over chair. with that he turned and stormed off to the bedroom and slammed the door shut. I laid there for a few minutes curled into a ball crying softly before I forced myself up so I can clean up the kitchen before he came back in there and saw the mess and got angry all over again. as soon as everything was cleaned up I slipped into the bedroom and grab my pajamas and quickly changed and slid into my side of the bed. he was asleep so I just curled up on my side on top of the blankets and willed myself to go to sleep and not cry, because if he heard me crying it would make it worse on me. Christmas and New years came and went and when winter break was over Rico decided that he wanted me to drop out of school because he didn't feel like I needed to finish. I reluctantly agreed because I felt like I really didn't have a choice. RICO was working long hours and when he came home he was always in a bad mood. he stayed drunk all the time and we never had any money. I really couldn't understand why we could barely afford the bills when Rico made good money and he had tons of overtime. he still hadn't bought anything for the baby either. one night when he came home from work he went straight into the bedroom, after he had been in there a few minutes I went in to see if he was okay. I was so shocked when I walked in and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed snorting white powder off the bedside table. my heart crashed into my chest, I couldn't believe my eyes. Rico looked up at me and said, what do you want? he sounded so casual like he wasn't doing anything wrong. I swallowed the huge lump that was in my throat as I said, I was just seeing if you were okay. well as you can see I'm fine, now go get me a cold beer. I quickly left closing the door behind me I was so shocked at what I had just seen. the next 2 months went by in a blur as I did the same things day in and day out. one night I was awakened by the phone ringing and when I looked at the clock on the bedside table it was 3:00 a.m. I grabbed the phone and answered it quickly trying not to wake up Rico. hello, I said in a whisper. and official sounding voice spoke. yes ma'am, I'm trying to reach Alexandria Swartz please. yes this is her, I said sitting straight up in bed now wide awake. yes ma'am this is Dr praline with Daytona Beach hospital and we have your mother here as a patient and she is on life support, he stated in a matter of fact tone of voice. what! I screamed into the phone waking Rico up. I'll be right there, I said as I slam the phone down while jumping out of it. Rico looked at me like I had lost my mind. what are you doing? he growled out sleepily. Rico my mom is on life support at the hospital, I shouted out. he immediately jumped out of bed and got dressed, let's go, he said grabbing my hand and together we race to the hospital. I was only able to spend one hour with my mom before she passed away. apparently she had worked late and was driving home and she had fallen asleep at the wheel and drove into the path of a tractor trailer and they had crashed head on. I was devastated. I had just lost my only family besides Rico and the baby on the way. now my baby would have to grow up without grandparents. I was 5 months pregnant and I had to bury my mother. I was so depressed that I couldn't even eat and I cried all the time. RICO was nice to me I think because he felt bad about me losing my mom because he knew how it felt because he had lost his parents also. Rico's niceness only lasted a short time because a month later he came home in a bad mood and I hadn't done anything at all except lay on the couch and cry all day. I hadn't even bothered fixing dinner. I was just too upset. Rico stormed into the house looked around and saw that the apartment was a mess and that the dishes hadn't been washed or dinner fixed and he hit the roof. AJ what have you been doing all day? sitting on your lazy fat ass as usual? he screamed at me as he was crossing the room quickly. before I knew it he had grabbed me up by my hair and dragged me off the couch. he kept screaming at me about how I was no good, lazy and fat. he said that I was a stupid w**** that didn't even finish high school and that he wasn't even sure if I was pregnant with his kid. he slapped me repeatedly across the face. I begged him over and over to please stop. he grabbed both my arms and shook me while screaming in my face, why did I ever marry a worthless piece of s*** like you? his eyes were bloodshot and he smelled like a brewery. he let go of me and I fellow backwards over the coffee table, banging my head on the TV stand. I curled into a ball on the floor and pain was ripping through my head. I reached my hand to the back of my head where the most pain was coming from and I felt a wet spot and when I pulled my hand away and looked at it my hand was covered in blood. Rico was standing over me still yelling and when I didn't respond to him he started kicking me and stomping me. I begged and pleaded with him to stop. I instinctively wrapped my arms around the small bulge in my belly trying to protect my baby. Rico please you will hurt the baby! I beg trying to get him to snap out of it. he was like a maniac in an uncontrollable fit of rage. do you think I care about that bastard child that you are pregnant with, you good for nothing little s***! he sped out as he continued kicking me the pain was becoming unbearable and I was seeing black spots before him before my eyes. I was so cold and I just knew that this was the end and that I was going to die with my baby at the hands of mad Men who I thought loved me. the last thing I remember as I drifted off in the darkness was men and blue unicorns crashing through our front door.