A Chance In Love

Chapter 1. Her Hunted Memories

Flashback

Four Years Ago...

One... Two... Three... four... ? It's already been four months and yet he's still not reaching out to me. No text, no calls, no visits, no chats--- nothing. 

Does he even love me anymore? Or Did he find somebody else--- someone better that I? My mind is rumbled by these internal noises that doesn't seem to stop playing all over my head. Ugh! I'm so annoyed and irritated and hurt... But.. I still miss him so badly that it makes me want to pull my hair out. 

Why? Did I do something wrong? What could it be? Maybe, I could still fix it for him... I can change for him if he only tells me what to do. 

Please, just... Just please talk to me. I can't handle this one.,. I prayed desperately in silence. 

Hours turned to days, and then weeks, and again--- months and , still, no answers from him--- not even a single dot. I don't have any idea where he is and what he's doing. Is he okay? Is he eating regular? What if he's sick and no one is there for him? A long list of what if's keep on adding to my worries and it causes me to stay wide awake very late at night and I barely sleep for months now. 

I feel like my prayers are on a very long queue of requests, more important than mine, that's why it is yet left un answered for long. 

I was about to let sleep overcome me due to the exhaustion of staying up so late, again, while waiting for any responese from him, but surprisingly, I heard a slight ding from my iphone, accompanied by a second flash of light, indicating that someone has just texted me. SOMEONE HAS TEXTED ME! 

I was hoping it to be from him... Please, let it be him. I closed my eyes for a moment before pressings the power button and yes! I saw his name! I was repeatedly thanking God Who's granted my unspoken prayers... I immediately swiped up my phone to unlock it, well, I hate passwords so I did not put any, then tapped the message icon and clicked his name on the screen. 

I was so happy and excited and overwhelmed, but the enthusiasm dominates me more. What could he have texted? Will he say he's sorry and that, he misses me too just like how much I missed him? Will he say sorry and explain why he hasn't contacted me for six months and say he loves me? Finally, I found the courage to open my eyes and read his message. 

However, what I thought to be my happiest moment after a long time of waiting has become my greatest nightmare... my biggest disappointment... my most painful heartbreak...

Am I sleeping? Am I just imagining things? Please wake me up from this bad dream! 

As my eyes started to swell with tears, I tried very hard to read every single word that he sent and yet, nothing seems to enter my mind. The only thing that's repeatedly playing inside me is the phrase saying, "SORRY" and "BREAK UP". 

Like what the! I've waited for him for months and this is what he's going to surprise me with?! I was too shocked to even react. My mind can not, in any way, process the new information. 

I was so perplexed. I was more pissed with myself because I cannot get mad at him. I was purely questioning my own self, "What did I do wrong?", "Am I not enough?", and things like that... It just sank in after a long while of replays and yeah, realization hits you like an iron rod--- it could break your skull real hard and you can't do anything but to bleed. 

He... Just... Broke... Up... With... M-m-e? And worse, only through a text message?! Am I that unimportant to him now? He-just-broke-up-with-me-in-a-stupid-message! 

His place is just two-hour drive away from mine and yet, he neither visited me nor contacted me for almost half a year, and he suddenly breaks up with me over the phone?! Is our two years of relationship nothing to him? Am I that worthless? Hah! I forced a bitter smile. I am more than broke--- I'm legally shattered! 

From that, I started to sob... I wanted to suppress my tears but I-I... I just c-can't... 

I was crying real hard now and was beginning to have a panic attack. 

"I-I c-cant b-b-reaaa... th... haa haaa h-help... "

I was already catching my breath, my world seems to turn black, and the oxygen feels like hiding itself away from me... even the oxygen is threatening to leave me... 

Then, I sobbed more. My heart felt like being stabbed repeatedly and nonstop. It's so painful... That made me breathless some more.  

 "Pleaseee help... ", I was literally begging in my head but my words can't come out my mouth. 

,"What is happening to ....mm......?",

Those were my last thoughts before I lost consciousness.