Unhidden

Chapter Six-Jamal

I couldn’t sleep.

Andre’s arms were wrapped tightly around me from behind, his chest pressed against my back, his breathing slowly becoming steadier.

But mine wasn’t.

I stared into the darkness.

His words kept replaying in my head.

What do you take me for?

I swallowed.

I knew what he took me for.

His boyfriend.

The person he loved.

The person he had been waiting for.

And that was exactly why I felt guilty.

Because Andre wasn’t asking for too much.

He wasn’t asking me to buy him something expensive.

He wasn’t asking me to change who I was.

He was asking me to stay.

Just stay.

One night.

Fourteen days.

He had gone fourteen days without seeing me, and instead of giving him the night he wanted, I had started getting dressed.

I closed my eyes.

I had seen the hurt on his face.

I couldn’t forget it.

When I first arrived, I had been so happy to see him.

I had missed him terribly.

The moment I walked through his door and saw him, wearing his shirt, everything I had been carrying for two weeks disappeared.

For those few hours, there was no Carter Group.

No meetings.

No investors.

No project deadlines.

No family expectations.

No political campaign.

No questions about marriage.

No fear.

There was just Andre.

My Andre.

And I loved him.

God, I loved him.

So why had I tried to leave?

Because I knew what would happen if I stayed.

My mother would call.

My father would ask where I had been.

Someone from the house would notice I wasn’t home.

And tomorrow morning, I would have to return to the Carter estate and pretend everything was normal.

That was the life I had built.

Or maybe the life that had been built around me.

I felt Andre’s arm tighten around my waist.

I looked down at his hand.

His fingers were resting against my stomach.

Even asleep, he held me like he was afraid I would disappear.

My chest tightened.

I had done that to him.

Not intentionally.

But I had.

I had spent three years teaching him that I could love him deeply and still leave him before sunrise.

That I could kiss him like he was everything and then walk out like we had never happened.

That wasn’t fair.

I knew that.

But knowing something was wrong didn’t magically make it easy to fix.

My father’s voice entered my mind.

My sons will build families.

My sons will carry this name.

My sons will have wives.

I opened my eyes.

That was the part Andre didn’t understand.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want him.

I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anyone.

It wasn’t that I was ashamed of him.

I wasn’t.

I was terrified.

Terrified of what would happen when my family knew.

My father wasn’t a man who handled disappointment quietly.

He didn’t simply become angry.

He could erase people from his life.

And I had seen what happened to people who challenged him.

My career.

My position.

My inheritance.

My family.

Everything I had ever known could change.

And Andre could become the person everyone blamed.

I couldn’t let that happen.

But tonight, lying in his arms, I realized something.

I had spent so much time trying to protect everything around me that I was hurting the person I loved most.

I slowly turned around.

Andre was asleep.

His face looked softer in sleep.

No anger.

No frustration.

Just Andre.

I reached up and touched his cheek.

His eyes remained closed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

He shifted slightly.

I immediately froze.

But he didn’t wake.

I smiled sadly.

“I really am.”

My fingers moved through his hair.

“You think I don’t want to stay?”

My voice almost broke.

“I do.”

I lowered my eyes.

“I want to stay every night.”

The words sat heavily in the room.

“I want to wake up next to you.”

I took a breath.

“I want to annoy you in the morning. I want to steal your blankets. I want you to complain because I take too long in the shower.”

A tiny smile appeared on my face.

“I want ordinary things.”

I looked at him again.

“But I don’t know how to have them.”

That was the truth.

I didn’t know how to have an ordinary relationship.

Not with him.

Not while being Jamal Carter.

The second son of Akeem Famineu Carter.

The son everyone watched.

The son everyone expected to marry.

The son whose personal life could become tomorrow’s headline if the wrong person discovered the truth.

My phone suddenly vibrated on the nightstand.

I froze.

The screen lit up.

Mom.

My stomach dropped.

I reached for the phone immediately.

The message was simple.

Where are you? Your father asked about you.

I stared at it.

Then another message appeared.

Please call me when you see this.

I slowly put the phone face down.

Andre stirred.

“Jamal?”

His voice was sleepy.

“Hmm?”

“You okay?”

I looked at him.

Even half-asleep, he knew.

“I’m fine.”

He opened his eyes.

“You’re lying.”

I smiled weakly.

“You always know.”

“Because I know you.”

Those words hurt more than anything.

Because he did know me.

Maybe better than anyone.

I moved closer and rested my forehead against his.

“I love you.”

His eyes softened.

“I love you too.”

I closed my eyes.

For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine it.

A world where I didn’t have to hide.

Where I could wake up beside him every morning.

Where I could introduce him as my boyfriend without fear.

Where my mother would smile.

Where my father wouldn’t look at me like I had betrayed everything he built.

Where Andre could hold my hand in public.

Where I could bring him home.

Where he could sit at our family table.

Where my father could know the man I loved.

I wanted that life.

God, I wanted it.

But wanting it and knowing how to get there were two different things.

Andre pulled me closer.

“Go to sleep.”

I smiled.

“You’re bossy.”

“Tonight, yes.”

I laughed quietly.

“You were really angry.”

“I was.”

“Very angry.”

“Extremely.”

I hid my face against his chest.

“I’m sorry.”

His hand moved over my hair.

“I don’t want you to keep apologizing.”

“Then what do you want?”

There was a pause.

“You.”

I closed my eyes.

“That simple?”

“For me?”

His voice softened.

“Yeah.”

I held onto him.

“I wish it was that simple for me too.”

He didn’t respond immediately.

Then he kissed the top of my head.

“We’ll figure it out.”

I wanted to believe him.

More than anything.

So I stayed.

That night, for the first time in fourteen days, I didn’t leave Andre’s house.

I stayed in his arms.

And for a few hours, I allowed myself to forget that tomorrow I would have to go back to being Jamal Carter.

The son.

The businessman.

The heir.

The secret.

Tonight, I was simply Jamal.

Andre’s Jamal.

And for the first time in a long time, that felt like enough.