JACOB

Chapter 25| Support

I was cuddled up against Jacob naked. My knee bent over his torso, feet between his thighs, face on the pillow next to his, a plush comforter covered us. His body produces this heat that just increases when he sleeps, and it's relaxing. Being around him makes me feel safe, more so than before because the security that he gives me feels different. The safety of knowing that I'm surrounded by an army, and the security of knowing that I am the only one he is with right at that moment.

Even though, I feel this way I don't think I fully trust him, I want to but it's not that simple. I've never been able to trust anyone so easily, and even though if I do decide to trust them I end up regretting it. I want to be with someone that I trust, equably if I wasn't with him specifically and I was with someone or at least tried to be, I think it would be equally as hard to trust that person. I have trust issues.

Maybe I'll be eased in to it by him like before, or because of the different circumstances I won't ever trust him. It's not like it was before, our relationship. It used to be simple back then; he wasn't a man that I wanted to f**k, and he couldn't really respond back, but now... it's different. It's different in the way that, I feel there is certain things that I have to do, a way that I have to feel, or a way that I have to be, and I haven't felt like this in a while. To me, before Jake was Jake, he was just an animal in my backyard, my best friend that I always wanted to sleep next to or be next to. Now, he isn't my best friend, I don't have the urge to tell him everything—now I feel have to hide my feelings from him, be a different person. And I want to be with him more than ever, I don't want to feel this way. He's the type of person that I never thought I'd be with, different than the guys that want me, and maybe I like it, but it scares me.

I want to believe he loves me, every time he says I do believe him, but the feeling wears out a seconds later. I'm scared is all, because I know once I truly and wholeheartedly trust that he loves me, I'll feel compelled to love him back and me loving him changes everything. And I'm not ready for that.

I haven't known him for that long, but I know I strong feelings for him. I can't necessarily explain it. It's strange. I recently met the real him, and I already feel so attached. It's unnatural the way I feel for him, but I can't help myself. And maybe it is love, either way I'm scared to admit the possibility. I loved someone before and I ended up being hurt and I don't want to go through that again. Ever. With Jacob if love him, the love I'd have for him it'd be stronger—for some reason I know my love for him will be stronger than any love that I could possibly have, and now to imagine him breaking my heart. I'll never get over something like that. I know myself enough to say I won't be able to resist him, even if I'm sure he'll hurt me. I'll try to fight it as long as I can though.

Jacob's eyes are closed, he looks like he's sleeping, but I'm not so sure. Maybe he's faking.

I'm only saying, we've slept in the same bed before, and all those times when I woke he was never there. He always leaves right at this time. Me being me, jumping to conclusions, I can't help but feel it was something I've done even if he repeatedly tells me that he wakes up early to work out. I don't believe him, even if I have no reason to think otherwise

I stroke his stubbled cheek with my knuckles, he tightens his jaw and shifts his body. My body turns cold as I move with him.

"Are you sleeping?" I anxiously whisper.

He shakes his head, groans, turns to face and opens his eyes.

I bite my lip culpably, "Sorry."

"Sorry?" He says groggily.

"I woke you... you were actually sleeping."

He stares at me for a second and then whisper, "It's okay."

"You're a light sleeper." I say.

"I know."

"I could sleep through an earthquake."

He chuckles and pauses, "I know...why did you wake me?"

"I-I don't know... I wanted to talk to you, I guess. I was getting lonely; no good shows are on and I'm not sleepy... and maybe...I wanted to make sure you weren't dead and you're real." I said pass my index finger over his chest.

"Why wouldn't I be real?"

"I don't know," I shrug my shoulders. "Maybe you're a dream or something, maybe I'm not lucid right now. Maybe I'm an old lady in a home with dementia, just hallucinating you."

"That's not funny Scar."

"I'm not trying to be funny."

It's dark in the room, but I could see his face clearly, the colorful lights from the television reflected on to his beautiful chiseled face. I place my hand against his cheek, I lightly scratch his stubble.

He turns his whole body to face me, put his arm under my thigh and pulls me closer to him making my leg go over his waist.

"You're awake, I'm awake and I can tell you that you're not dreaming, and I am not dead... and you are definitely not an old lady, but even if you were you'd still be beautiful."

I scoffed, "Okay, you always know just how to respond, huh?"

"If you keep this up, your gonna catch me slipping one day."

"I look forward to that day."

He chuckles.

"Okay, I woke you cause I finally seen you asleep. So, that's a big deal for me, because up until now, I was convinced you either don't sleep at all or I'm the world's worst sleeper and you don't like to sleep next to me."

"Well, when you sleep you do kick the f**k out of me like I owe you, so I have to hold you down, but I don't mind that. And I told you I wake for an early work out. Why do you always think I'm lying to you?"

"Because you do."

"Not all the time."

"So, you admit that you lie to me."

"Everybody lies."

"I don't lie to you."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"When we were at the mall, you told me that your ex-boyfriend was stranger."

"That was one lie, and if you knew him like I do, you wouldn't claim either."

"You still lied."

"Alright fine, I lied. From here on out, no more lies."

He smiles widely at me, "You wouldn't know if I lied to you."

"You are a very bad liar." I giggle.

"I'm not a bad liar." He said defensively.

"Yes. Yes, you are."

"Maybe... you just have this... magic pathway to my soul, allowing you to see inside me."

I laugh, "RIGHT. Okay."

"You're magical."

"You need to stop." I blush passing my finger over his lips.

"Stop? What am I doing?"

"You keep saying things you think I want to hear."

"I'm only—not lying."

"That's not what I mean when I say don't lie."

"I'm trying to be honest as possible."

"Whatever." I say smiling.

"You have a beautiful smile."

I smile harder, "You have a pretty face."

He chuckles, "Just pretty?"

"You know exactly how you look, you are more than pretty."

"Tell me."

"Tell you, how you look?"

"Tell me how you see me."

"How I see you?" I whisper.

"Yes." He says back smoothly.

"Well..." I bite my lip, "You know you are a very sexy person. I know you know that. You look fuckable. And... your stubble," I pause passing my hand on the side of his face, smoothing out my thumb over his cheek. "I like it this way. You have that body... the body... like god has been good to you type of body. Your very...mm" I pause and blush and smile widely, because he is so attractive, and he knows it and I'm trying to verbally explain how sexy he is in words and it's hard. Oh gosh, he is so hard right now. I take his d**k from in between us, "You are... big. Very large and... I think I like it."

He begins to laugh, "YOU think you like it?'

"Don't laugh—yes I think. It's big and it's nice, but you are too big. I'm thinking, how are you going to fit in me? Do women ever complain?"

He chuckles, "No they never complain."

"What are you ten? Eleven?"

"Inches?'

"Yes."

He shrugs his shoulders, "I've never measured."

"You've never measured?"

"Never?'

"Why not?"

He laughs, "It's never been an issue."

"You've never had s*x with a virgin?"

"I have."

"And it was easy for them?"

"I never said that, but I promise if you let me I'll make sure to be gentle and I'll keep you moist."

I bite my lip, "How would you that?"

"I'd make sure you drink a lot of water before we fuck." He leans into me and kisses my lips then travels to neck, and he whispers, "I know just how to make you wet; eat your p***y, play with it..."

I raise my hand up his abs, to the back of his hair. I put my face under his head and kiss him.

"And slowly push it in?" I say.

"Yes." He says kissing me again, taking my bottom lip in-between his teeth. I moan softly.

He slowly releases my lip, he looks at me. I run my hands through his hair.

"You're photoshop handsome and it's concerning."

"Why?" He asks.

"Because you are the type of guy, girls fight over, more so than any guy I've met. So, I have to compete with a lot of other girls."

"There is no competition. You don't have to compete with anyone." He says scarcely.

"You can't be sure about that."

"I can be, because it's you. If it were anybody else, I wouldn't be able to tell promising them that."

"You are promising me this."

"Yes.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I never, and I will never do that with you."

"If I go through your phone, am I not going to find competition?"

"You're going to find something, but whatever or whoever you'll find on my phone, they can't compete with you."

"Because you love me?" I ask softly.

"Yes."

"I swear I'll believe you one day, but not today."

"I won't hurt you Scar."

"Either way, you will. It's inevitable." I shut my eyes.

"What do I have to do for you to not believe that?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"I'll do anything." He pleads.

I open my eyes, I pull his head down to kiss him.

"If I'll ever ask anything of you, it'd be to be honest as possible despite how you think I'd react. Okay?"

"Okay." He says. I push him off of me and change positions, so I am on top. He places his hands at my low hips. I lean down and kiss him, suck on his lips, I push my tongue in his mouth. His hands move up and down my sides then to my ass, he slaps them hard. I put my hand in between us and place his d**k up under me, I rest my p***y over his warm d**k and grind slowly. He's stiff under me and I'm wet. I glide over him easily and I can't help but let out a loud moan. I sit up and throw my head back in ecstasy. Jacob's thumb grazed my left n****e, takes it in between his index finger and thumb, he rolls and pulls my hard n****e. My eyes roll to the back of my head. I lean down again and put my face between his neck, I graze my lips against his skin. Then, I begin to suck on his neck, move to his shoulder and bite down while I moan.

"Jacob." I whimper softly. We are just going so slow and it just feels so good. He feels so nice under me. "Don't stop me." I beg in his ear.

His hands go up my back and abruptly he pulls my hair and my head moves with his force.

"Look at me." He growls softly. I obey and look at him, he takes my neck in his grasp and grips me steady. He placed his hand under me and stroke his middle finger in me and f***s me fast.

"Jacob!" I shout in elated.

"You're... beautiful." He growls. His eyes glow, and they are beautiful. f**k he's so gorgeous and I love how he makes me feel. I love it!

I close my eyes and ride his finger and grind harder. "Yes...fuck."

His hand still on my throat he pulls me down next to him and gets on top of me. He gets down in between my legs, puts my thighs over his shoulder, he attacks my p***y with his mouth and it is not the first time he's done this to me tonight, and I'm not tired of him. He moves down my inner thigh and kisses me. He spreads my legs wider, his hands held them apart. He sinks his teeth into my thigh, and bites down.

"Ow Jacob?!" I shout down at him. I try to push his head away, but he doesn't budge. "Jacob stop!" I demanded, but he didn't listen instead he held me down harder and elongate his teeth more into my skin. "Jacob you're hurting me!" I screamed. Then suddenly, I felt this euphoria shoot up my spine, and my body relaxed. I close my eyes in in bliss. I grip the sheets under me and instead of screaming his name, I moaned it. I was currently on a high. I feel exactly how I felt when he marked me in the woods.

He finally released his hold on me, he rose and tower me. His eyes were blood red I could see his teeth, they were sharp, and they had my blood on them. Slowly they shortened. He licked his lips. He closes his eyes and when he opens them they return to their natural color. "Fuck." He sighs, "I'm sorry baby." He says getting from on top of me and off of the bed. I immediately get on my knees and grab his. "Where are you going? Why are you leaving?"

"I'm not. I'm just..."

"Leaving. How do think that makes me feel when you do that?"

"I'm sorry. I just hurt you, I don't think you want to be around me."

"You bit the f**k out of me, I'm bleeding. You don't think I deserve an explanation?"

"Yes, you do, let me go get the first aid. I'll be back." He said walking out.

I lay back down. Is he seriously mad at me? I should be mad at him, HE BIT ME! But I liked it?

I curse in frustration, I take the lamp besides me and throw it at the television, breaking it.

I look at my bruised thigh, my blood drips down my thigh on to the sheets. The more I focused on the bite the more I realize the wound is completely painless. I touch the bruise with my index finger and applied pressure, a rapture exploded in my body. My eyes flutter shut, and my body becomes light, my breathing slows down. My body falls flat on the bed, but the bed doesn't feel like a bed, it feels... like a cloud. I lift my fingers in front of my face, and it's so light. Like a feather, a feather in the night sky on the moon...on the sky.

I hear the door open and I literally feel his body come closer to mine, the closer he gets the heavier my heart feels. Oh, I'm so in love with him right now.

"Hi," I barely say opening my eyes.

"Hey baby? You okay?" He asks. He comes closer to me he had a black box in his hands, he places it on the bed. He was now wearing sweats.

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?" I say as he come between my thighs.

He shakes his head, he looks unhappy.

"Are you okay?" I slur.

"Yeah," he says not looking at me. He opens the box and takes out a bottle of saline and cotton. I sit up what feels like almost too slowly.

He pours it onto my thigh and wipes the wound clean. When he passes the cotton on my thigh I feel light again and a smile spread on my face, but immediately went away when I realize he's upset.

I put my hand on the side of his face and try to follow his eyes with mine.

"Why won't you look at me?" I ask sadly. He looks up at me and looks back down at my wound. He took bandages and covered my wound.

I put my hands on the side of his face and kiss him. I climb him and straddle him and kiss him, push myself onto him a making him fall flat on the bed with me on top of him. I look at eyes, "Your eyes... they were red. Why?'

He puts his hands on my waist, "My wolf took over."

"Okay. Did he make you bite me?"

"Something like that." He responded.

"What is it supposed to do to me? Is it like the mark on my neck?"

"Yes and no."

"Yes and no?"

"It'll heal by tomorrow."

"How's it supposed to make me feel? Is it supposed to hurt me?"

"Are you in pain?" He asks.

I shake my head. "I feel strange but absolutely no pain. I actually feel pretty... amazing," I close my eyes and smile.

"Good." He says.

I open my eyes and grazed my lip with my tongue. I lean down and kiss him.

He puts his hands at my sides and turn us over so he's on top of me. He separate his lips from mine, he lifts up from me, but I wrap his legs around his waist to lock him in. "Don't go." I beg.

I put my hands on the side of his head and pull him back down. I kiss him again, he kisses back pushes his tongue in my mouth. We make out for a hot minute; his hands were on my hips holding me close to him. He moves his head to my neck and kiss my ear, "We should stop." He whispers in my ear.

I put my arms around his neck and hold him close to me tight, "Do you want to stop?"

"No."

I opened my eyes and kiss his shoulder. "Is this about the tv?"

He chuckles and shakes his head and looks at me.

"I'll pay for the damages."

"Don't worry about it."

I kiss his shoulder, "You make me feel so good, I don't want you to go."

His hands traveled to my hips, to my thighs and separate my thighs, kisses my forehead and gets up. He turns around and walks out the door. I shut my eyes to keep me from crying, I turn over on my stomach, pull the comforter on top of me and cover my head. Tears inevitably falls down my face. Unwanted tears.

- - -

I woke up to sunlight shining in my face as I laid in a big empty bed. I passed my hand to side of my bed hoping Jacob came back, he didn't. Although, I do notice I'm in a different room than the one I feel asleep in. Jacob probably put me here and he didn't stay. f**k. Of course, he didn't.

I hold the blanket tight around me and get up from the bed. My hair is messy and all over the place, I pat it down and comb my fingers through my curls with one of my hands. I stand up, go to the door, and leave out the room. The room door led outside, and the sun blazed onto my face, I put my hand forward and shut my eyes to block the sunlight. I look out onto the water and notice we are no longer at the dock. The boat is surrounded by blue water and no one or anything is near. I look left and then I went right. The more I walk the more I felt Jacob's presence.

I walked to the front of the yacht and I see Jacob, he was sitting on the bed and he was on a phone talking. I don't want to interrupt him, so I wait until he finishes. I walk up to him and sit on the bed, he end the phone call.

"Morning." I said.

He looks at me, "Hi." He says softly.

I feel like I'm fighting with him, and I hate it. I hate him and the way he makes me feel. I'm so mad at him, it doesn't feel good when I'm mad at him. It makes me feel... empty. Like my heart is down to my toes and Jacob is the only one to lift it back up. I hate, and I love the way it makes me feel, and sometimes—just like last night I wish I never met him. When he left barely saying anything to me it hurt, and I cried myself to sleep because he made me open to perception about how he feels about me. Did his feelings for me change overnight?

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you didn't do anything." He shakes his head.

"Then why can't you look at me?"

"I'm looking at you-"

"Barely."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry, while not telling me why you're sorry."

"I hurt you."

"I'm fine, Jacob. I'm good."

He sighs and looks down.

"So, what do you want to do? Do you wanna break up or something?" I ask.

"No, I didn't say that."

"Are you saying you don't want me anymore?"

"I'm not saying that either."

I roll my eyes in frustration. "I thought I was the distant one." I say getting up and walking away. "Now you've given me a reason to be mad at you." I say walking inside. I try and find a bathroom, I want to shower. I feel dirty. I see the girl from last night, she was polishing the furniture.

"Hi." I greet.

"Morning, can I help you with something?" She asks so nicely.

"Yeah uhm, I want to take a shower. Can you show me where the bathroom is? And is there anything I can wear? Anything at all?"

"Oh yeah, Mr. Young brought some clothes for you, I can get them and there is a bathroom in that room." She pointed out to a door. She walked to it and opening the door for me. I walked in, she walk in after me and walked to the door that was inside the room, a bathroom was behind the door.

"Thank you."

"Yeah—no don't mention it. There is a toothbrush and a towel in here, I'll bring your clothes in a little bit."

"Alright thanks." I smile at her, she walks out. I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror. My eyes were puffy and red. I let the blanket go. I look at my covered wound, and take off the bandage, the wound was completely gone. It just vanished. When Jake said that I'd be gone in the morning, he wasn't kidding. I threw away the bandage and step into the shower, I turn on the hot water and let it run down my hair and my body. I took the shampoo that was on the shelf, pour some in my hand and lathered my hair. I washed my hair and started to cry, but not because I soap got into my eyes or anything, but because I feel rejected. My heart hurts, it's heavy and it's frustrating how one person can make me feel this way. I hate him right now. I miss him. I hate that I want him. How can I have so many feelings for someone I barely know?

I scratch my scalp and tried my best to detangle it best that I can without a comb. I wash the soap away. I take the body wash, and start to soap my body, tears continued to fall down my face along with the water.

I felt arms wrap around my waist and a body press against my back. It was Jacob. I turn around and saw him look at me with those sad eyes.

I put my arms around his neck, and I kiss him. He holds me close to him. He turns me around, so my back was against the wall. His hands went under my thighs and he lifts me up. He presses his body in between me, I wrap my legs around his torso. I let him take control of the kiss. He took his hand, put his fingers through my hair gripping it. He pulls it to the side and kisses my neck, licks it, sucks it. Just to leave another annoying hickey, but I don't care. I want him to do whatever he wants to me.