Enemies

Chapter four - Desmond

I didn't expect Alyss to choose me as her Beta. I was convinced she thought I was weird.

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When we were kids she always gave me the stares as I was sitting on the side, minding my own business, reading my books. Right after my father and I joined their group, as she saw my books for the first time, she came up to me and asked me about them. She had never seen a book before.

In the old times, before The Great War, when shapeshifters and humans used to live side by side in peace, they used to share their knowledge with each other. They used to work together, their children grew up together. Both shapeshifters and humans went to the same universities and both shapeshifters and humans wrote books. After the war most of these books stayed with the victorious humans. Shapeshifters had to hide in the woods and seas, and books weren't the necessity they would want to risk their lives for. The humans manipulated history, they tried to erase humans-shapeshifters friendship from its pages. Only the oldest history books, hidden in locked down archives told the true story.

When my father and I travelled on our own we often stopped by human cities, pretending to be humans. I loved reading, but seeing how modern literature depicted us shapeshifters, I was curious of some older books. We managed to break into these archives a few times and steal some of the books. When I told that to Alyss she was smitten. But that was our last friendly interaction for a long time.

She soon found out how physically weak I was. She mocked me after every fight I lost against her. When I grew up and it turned out my animal was a sponge, she had a laugh. And when just a few months later Alpha Arlo died, Rod became an Alpha and he made Alyss his Beta, I thought I was doomed. I kinda expected her to bully me forever.

But to my surprise she suddenly changed. She never challenged me anymore. Instead of mocking me, she straight up avoided me. As I had always been a recluse and no other kids paid much attention to me, I perceived it both positively and negatively at the same time. I was finally left alone. But on the other hand, I was lonely from now on.

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After she herself reached maturity and presented as a jaguar, she reached out to me again. She asked me for help. She had difficulties using mindlink and she had heard I was good at it. Her asking me for help with anything surprised me so much I agreed instantly, even though I wasn't any mindlink specialist, she must have heard it wrong.

We practiced so much together this month that in the end the mindlink between the two of us was stronger even than her mindlink with Rod. She still had a very hard time mindlinking her best friend, Star, but she could mindlink me almost en passant.

The way I saw her changed a lot during that time. I used to think she was invincible, completely indestructible. She appeared to me as a warrior princess who stepped out of one of my books.

But one day, as she was having difficulties connecting with me and I said, intending to be encouraging "It's not that hard", she almost set about me.

"Of course it's not hard for you, but I'm not half as f*****g smart," she growled.

She apologised me later and said she was really sorry for being aggressive like that. But I didn't feel like she attacked me at all. At that time I realised for the first time that she could be vulnerable sometimes.

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When I saw how broken she was after Rod and Gwynn's death, I felt something I couldn't quite explain. I just wanted to help her any way I could. She didn't want to practice mindlinking with me anymore, but I tried to stay close to her. I held her hand at her brother's funeral, because she looked so bereaved that day.

When after the funeral she asked me to be her Beta, I thought she misinterpreted my intentions, she must have thought I was trying to get on her good side to get the position. I asked if she wouldn't prefer someone else for this job. I looked at all the people gathered around us. Each of them could defeat me in a fight with their eyes closed.

I never expected she could see anything to admire in me. That's why, when she said I was the smartest person she knew, I couldn't do anything but nod and accept her proposition.

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I was surprised to be chosen but I wasn't surprised at all that others opposed against that. At first they tried to talk to Alyss, but they gave up after a while. Then they came to me. They didn't really need to convince me, I knew I wasn't the right person. Accepting the position was a spur-of-the-moment decision. And so was Alyss choosing me, I was sure of it. I just didn't have it in me to go back on my word so quickly. But they convinced me the faster I resign, the better.

So I went to her tent. She was sleeping, but she woke up when I entered. I started feeling nervous thinking she might be disappointed in me. I felt the urge to escape. When she heard that I wanted to resign, I saw her start to panic and then it hit me.

"Haze... f**k!" I growled. I was awful with hazes. I was never able to resist them for long. I tried, but I always failed. So I stepped inside of my bucket. I tried to stay in my human form for a while longer and say something, but the haze overwhelmed me and I shifted.

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My body fell to the water. It started flowing through me. I felt all the stress begin to dissipate.

*Desmond? Are you okay?* I heard Alyss ask through the mindlink. In my sponge form I didn't have any senses so I had no idea what was happening around me.

*Yeah. But that's exactly what I've been talking about,* I sighed internally. I knew we wouldn't be able to continue the conversation like that. The haze I still felt distracted me. *I can't shift yet. Can you get me to the pond?*

*Of course, we are already going there. Don't worry, we can talk later.*

*Thanks, bye,* I uttered and finally gave in to the hydrous nothingness of being a sponge.