Wicked lessons with the coutesan

Not wanted

10 months ago

*Seraphine*

Sitting beside Pinnie at the round table where cards are being dealt and wagers made, I am bored. Bored. Bored. Perhaps it is time to find a new paramour. Or retire completely from the courtesan business. Even if I’ve had only one devotee. And being with him has made me notorious. He’s taught me so much and I am grateful for his tutelage. Ah, but I am bored.

Because Pinnie is mostly interested in boring things. Cards mainly. Cards, cards, cards. Nearly every night. Here at the Twin Wolves in a room where the lighting is dim and the cigar smoke thick. A secretive chamber to which men don’t bring their mates, but instead on their arm, they often sport a she-wolf of ill repute. One who dresses so tawdry she would be forbidden entry to the main gaming floor of this establishment.

But I never look or act tawdry. I could stroll into the beautiful ballroom of the Alpha and Luna of Silverpine, and no one would blink an eye in surprise or drop their jaw in horror. Because I have also mastered the art of appearing to belong, even when I don’t. I know all about the power of deception and how to best use it to my advantage. I’ve been tutored by an expert: my father, who has successfully perpetrated a fraud for years. And I’ve been an unknowing accomplice.

But I’ll never again be taken for a fool. Never again will I fall for another man’s ruse. I am in complete control.

Even if at this particular moment it appears I am under the thumb of the Alpha of Pineworth, that he dictates my actions. He doesn’t, but men fear she-wolves with power and so I pretend to be at his beck and call, when in truth, he is at mine. But I’ve learned the most powerful keep their power hidden in the shadows. When one possesses something of exorbitant worth, one doesn’t need to boast about it. As a matter of fact, it is best not to. When discovered by the doubters, it makes victories so much more rewarding, especially when everyone expects me to lose.

And if there are times when my position makes me feel like rubbish discarded by the high packs, I have but to review my accomplishments to know it is all worth it.

These men who might dine with the Queen know me. As do their mates, who sometimes stroll the hallowed halls of the Royal Palace. While they might never invite me into their parlor or allow me to wed one of their precious sons, they can’t prevent me from flirting with the heirs, teasing them, giving them hope that they might learn the exact shade and pattern of the wallpaper in my boudoir.

Tonight, as always, I am not involved in the game, but merely serve as an elegant and expensive ornament. I don’t mind. It is the role I play in his life. In exchange, he provides me with a very nice town house on Mistress Row… the unofficial name of a street in Blackrock City where many Alphas provide accommodations for their indulgences… as well as a more than satisfactory allowance, which is mine to do with as I please because anything I need I purchase on credit and he pays the amount owed at the end of the month. And while I often feel like a valuable piece of pottery to be gazed upon but not touched… well, I’ve managed to be perceived as being an exquisite bit of art few men can afford to possess.

Hasn’t Pinnie told me often enough that my beauty is beyond compare and a gift to the eye of the beholder? Then he taught me that aloofness will increase my value. Even if at times, it also increases my loneliness.

For some strange reason, tonight the loneliness seems particularly present and cuts a little deeper than usual. I have the uncomfortable sensation that it is because of the man sitting almost directly across from me. He is far too handsome, his gaze too intense as it seldom leaves me. While the other men at the table concentrate on their cards, every aspect of him seems to be focused on me. Although maybe it is merely the strange color of his eyes that makes it seem so. A silver, such as I’ve never seen. I am left with the impression he is uncovering my secrets, one by one. I have a strong urge to fetch my pelisse and use it to cover my bare chest, shoulders, and upper arms. I am grateful to be wearing gloves that go past my elbows, even if they cause me to have visions of him slowly removing them, kissing the exposed skin as he goes.

Pinnie has taken me to the most risqué parties… and on a couple of instances to an orgy… and yet on none of those occasions did I feel that my clothing reveals more than it hides. This man isn’t leering. No, no, it isn’t anything with which I can feel truly insulted. The appreciation in his eyes, however, is still a bit unsettling.

I’ve never had a fellow peer look at me as though he’d like to slowly take complete possession of me.

Chaps have looked at me with greed, lust, and blatant lasciviousness, but this man is scrutinizing me with sensual carnality. Whenever he slowly lifts his glass of scotch and takes a sip, studying me over its rim, I dearly wish he was sipping me.

During the years I’ve been with Pinnie, I’ve never truly experienced desire. To discover myself now yearning with such desperation is somewhat frightening. I feel nearly completely out of control. It’s absurd. I haven’t even been properly introduced to the man. However, I have managed, based on those nearby speaking to him, to determine who he is: Beta Langdon, future Alpha.

While the other gents are animated, shifting in their chairs, puffing on their cheroots, occasionally braying with laughter, Langdon is nearly still, not really part and parcel of the gathering. Except for the infrequent times when he drinks his scotch, he is like a panther that has sighted its prey and is striving to determine precisely when to leap forward and conquer it.

Each time after the cards are dealt, his hand whispers over the baize as he lifts the edges of his cards and barely gives them a cursory glance, and yet he has incredibly good fortune, taking nearly every hand. However, he gives the impression that the win is expected and brings with it no sense of satisfaction. He is simply whiling away his time in anticipation of something more important, more… rewarding.

Watching him, I suddenly realize I am no longer bored. I can recall reading nothing untoward about him in the gossip rags or in the Society columns I scour. I’ve always had an interest in the happenings among the high packs, mainly because I’ve always believed I’d be part of it. It had been a shock to discover I wouldn’t… not the proper part at least. However, I have managed to secure myself a spot along its edge.

And I’ve turned that small spot into a kingdom, surrounded by high walls and a moat.

Yet I don’t know if it is enough to protect me from Langdon… or the way he makes me feel. As I’ve once dreamed of feeling: precious and special. Desired. Appreciated.

“Fetch me a scotch, will you, love?” Pinnie asks quietly, snapping my attention away from Langdon.

I take a quick assessing glance around the table. Only Pinnie and Langdon still have cards in front of them. It is my job to pay attention to the play, and I haven’t been doing so. “Yes, of course.”

I catch Langdon’s eye and give him the smallest of smiles before sultrily getting to my feet. Pinnie has taught me how to move so men will follow the sway of my hips, and while I normally enjoy being on display, for some reason I don’t want Langdon watching my performance. He doesn’t strike me as the sort to be trifled with. I reach the sideboard, surprised to find my hand shaking when I lift the decanter.

Situating myself so I can see over Langdon’s shoulder, I slowly pour, waiting and watching, until he finally lifts his cards. Although he is incredibly guarded with them, I manage to catch a glimpse.

After setting down the decanter, I return to my chair beside Pinnie and place the drink beside his hand. Then I slip my own hand beneath the table, slide it along his thigh, and squeeze his knee. The signal that he can’t beat Langdon.

I watch as Langdon tosses more coins into the center of the table, his gaze never leaving me. “Twenty quid.”

Pinnie leans back, sighs. “You’ve cleaned me out, old chap. I don’t suppose you’d take my vowels.”

“No.”

“I thought not. However, I do have something to offer that’s worth much more than twenty quid.”

“I’m not interested in baubles.”

“But based on the way you’ve been watching her, I’d say you are interested in my mistress.”

My stomach lurches as I swing my head around to stare at Pinnie. “What?”

“You can have the remainder of the night with her in a private room here,” Pinnie continues.

“I don’t bed unwilling she-wolves.”

“Oh, I think she’s more than willing. I’ve also seen the way she’s been looking at you. You don’t mind, do you, love?”

“Pinnie, this is ridiculous.”

Leaning near my ear, he whispers, “Of late, you’ve complained of being bored. I suspect he is anything but.”

I haven’t complained. I’ve mentioned wanting to go ballooning. I shake my head. “Let him give you what I, of late, have failed to deliver.” He presses a kiss to a spot just below my ear. “Consider it a gift, a new experience. A broadening of your education.”

He is risking losing me. What is that about? However, it isn’t as though I have a reputation to protect. Well, unless I consider living up to the title associated with me: Blackrock City’s most notorious courtesan. Still, none of this sits well with me. “I’m your paramour, not your w***e. I’ll not be bartered. I choose with whom I lie.”

“Fair point.” He turns his attention back to Langdon. “You can take only what she is willing to give, although I suspect she won’t object to a kiss. Beyond that, you’ll have to entice her into wanting more. I suspect you’re up to it.”

Good Goddess! Why is he doing this when I’ve already signaled he’d lose? What is in it for him? We’ve always had an understanding, and he’s treated me so well. Is this his way of showing he is done with me? “Pinnie..”

“I’ll accept those terms,” Langdon drawls.

I couldn’t be more stunned if he suddenly stood and removed his clothing. Words fail me as the fury bolts through me. Men always think they are in charge, but in this matter, they are not. I simply have to determine how best to deliver the message that makes that fact crystal clear when we are alone in that room together. That I am intrigued by that perfectly shaped mouth is beside the point. That Pinnie is striving to gift me with a kiss from another man might be the oddest gift he’s ever given me, and he’s given me some unusual, unforgettable ones.

“In that case,” Pinnie begins, “I call.”

With a negligent flipping of his wrist, his gaze never leaving me, Langdon reveals his cards. And I fight with every last bit of weaponry within my arsenal to not let the shock… or disappointment… be revealed on my face. They are not the cards he’s been holding, not the ones I’ve glimpsed. Not the cards that would have ensured he won.

Not the ones that would have seen us together until dawn.

No. The assortment of random suits and numbers that form no meaningful pattern whatsoever ensures he loses. He had a chance to win me… and he hasn’t taken it. I am being a complete dunderhead because I am insulted. Hurt. He doesn’t want me. When has any man not desired me? Accustomed to sloughing off men’s advances, I am unprepared for responding to a rebuff. I have a strong urge to pick up the glass I’ve refilled and toss its contents at that handsome face. The bastard. No man has never not wanted me. Good Goddess. There are even she-wolves who have expressed a desire for me.

“I thought perhaps you were bluffing,” Pinnie says, as he tosses down his pair of jacks.

Only Langdon hasn’t been. He’s been holding four aces. I am certain I’ve seen four aces.

Tapping a finger on the table, Langdon continues to look at me. “Fortune doesn’t seem to be with me tonight.” Then he stands and presents me with a shallow bow, that almost comes across as a salute. I simply can’t determine if he is mocking me. “Madam, enjoy the remainder of your evening.”

He ambles away, leaving me with a riot of emotions roiling through me. Anger, hurt, doubt, confusion. My value resides in being wanted, desired, craved. And I’ve never felt so discarded in my entire life. Goddess, I wish I’d one day have an opportunity to make him feel the same.