CHAPTER SEVEN: STUCK IN THE MIDDLE
1269 Words
My alarm screamed at me again, reminding me that life doesn’t pause just because your heart is confused.
Another noisy morning in New York. Another day of pretending everything was normal.
I groaned and buried my face in my palms.
I kissed my best friend. Oh my gosh.
The memory wouldn’t leave me alone. It clung to me like a scene I never agreed to act in.
The kiss wasn’t just a mistake, it changed everything.
What was I supposed to say when I saw him?
The thought alone scared me to death.
My phone vibrated.
Josh.
He wanted to meet and talk.
Talk?
I didn’t even have the courage to breathe properly, let alone reply.
So I left the message unopened, sitting there like a tiny glowing reminder of everything I was avoiding.
I wasn’t ready, not after that night.
***
I still had a lot on my plate at work, attending meetings, submitting reports, completing files, and trying my best to meet the deadlines.
It felt endless.
“I’m never finishing this today,” I muttered, resisting the urge to slam my head against the desk. Everything felt like too much.
After forcing myself to breathe and calm down, I reached for my phone.
Thirty-five missed calls.
From Josh.
My heart sank and raced at the same time.
I wanted to call him back, tell him I missed him, but it didn't feel right.
I was scared. Scared of ruining what we had. Scared of losing the only constant person in my life.
***
When I stepped out of the building after work, my legs froze.
Josh was standing by his car.
Waiting for me.
I almost turned away, but he rushed toward me first.
“Hey, are you okay? I called earlier but I got nothing.”
His voice shook with concern. His eyes looked tired, almost guilty. Like he hadn’t slept. Like he was holding something he couldn’t say.
A part of me wanted to fall straight into his arms, like I always did.
But things weren’t simple anymore.
“I’m sorry,” I started. “My phone was off. Work was…”
He didn’t let me finish.
He pulled me into his arms immediately.
“Don’t ever do that again, Ash. I thought something happened to you.”
He held me like he genuinely feared losing me.
“I won’t,” I whispered. “My phone just went off.”
Before I could take another breath, a woman stepped out of his car.
She looked expensive; elegant, polished, like she lived in a world built from designer outfits and private jets. The kind that said I fly a private jet for breakfast expensive.
“Jason?” she called.
Josh stiffened.
And my eyes drifted towards Josh.
“Who’s Jason?” I asked quietly.
He let out a nervous laugh. “It’s me. That’s what they call me at work. She’s just a work associate.”
He avoided my eyes for a second.
Just one second.
But it was enough.
“Oh really? And I’m the only one who doesn’t know that?”
My tone was calm, but inside, I felt tense.
“Ash, I can explain. Just… not now. How about tomorrow? You close early on Saturdays, right? Let’s meet and talk. Please.”
Sandra called again, her tone sharp and impatient.
And then he said softly,
“Ash… about that night… I don’t remember much. But I hope I didn’t do anything wrong. If I did, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
He looked sincere, too sincere.
And I couldn’t bring myself to tell him anything. The thought of it alone made me feel awkwardly weird around him
“It’s fine, Josh. Let’s talk tomorrow. I should go.”
He leaned forward and gave me a gentle peck on my forehead.
“You’re the only one who really knows me, Ash. So pls don't avoid me again”
Hearing him say that felt different…
Because I wasn’t sure I knew him at all. Josh had been distant lately, and I could feel us drifting apart, which scared me more than not meeting up with deadlines at work.
Sandra called him again.
“I’ll call you. Please pick up this time,” he said before rushing back to her.
I watched them drive off, feeling like something mine was slipping out of my hands, just like taking a candy from a crying baby.
***
Charleston street was as quiet as usual, my apartment was just a few blocks away.
I took a bus home, since I couldn't wait long enough for a cab.
So I just walked all the way down from the stop. I was just a block away when I saw the one thing I badly wanted to erase from my life.
Ethan.
My ex.
The one mistake, I permanently wanted out of my head.
“Oh, come on,” I muttered. “Today cannot get any worse.”
Instead of avoiding him like I used to, I walked straight toward him.
I was done running.
“Hey, Ashley. I…, I…” he stuttered.
“What do you want, Ethan?” I snapped before he could finish.
“I’m sorry. For everything. I know I messed up, but I didn’t mean to. I still care about you. Ever since I saw you again, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t…”
“Oh, cut the crap Ethan”
My voice was steady but sharp.
“After everything you did? After sleeping with my sister and dating her behind my back? You literally broke me, Ethan. You broke my family. And you dare open your filthy mouth to call my name, Don’t you dare ever call my name again. Or talk to me. And don’t you dare think about coming near my house.”
His eyes glistened.
And for the first time in years, his words didn’t scratch me. Not even a little.
“I’m not giving up, Ashley,” he whispered. “I know you hate me, but please don't push me away”.
I didn’t respond.
I walked straight into my apartment and shut the door behind me.
“Gosh, that was crazy,” I breathed out.
But I felt strong.
Like I had finally closed a chapter.
***
Later that night, I opened my laptop and searched for the BBTA Awards.
The event was scheduled for the 15th of this month.
I hated that I was doing this…
But Josh’s strange behaviour, the lies, the avoidance, it all pushed me here.
I opened the nominees list for the second time, hoping I was wrong about everything.
But then I saw it.
Jason Clifford.
There was a picture, his face covered, but next to him stood a woman.
Sandra.
The same Sandra from tonight.
Then the headline hit me like a punch:
“Jason Clifford and fiancée Sandra Clear…”
Fiancée.
My pulse hammered.
Everything pointed to one impossible thing.
Josh… might actually be Jason.
My best friend.
My almost something.
Engaged.
To someone else.
And suddenly, every word he said earlier today all sounded like lies.
I didn't know how to express what I felt, but I could feel my tears rolling down my cheeks, and my heart ached with unbearable pain.
For the first time in a long while, I truly felt stuck, stuck between truth, lies, and a feeling of one-sided love.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted answers anymore…
Or if I was terrified to hear the truth.
But deep down inside my heart, I wanted it all to be a lie.
- Writer
