Stop Loving

No longer happy agreement

one

I fell asleep as soon as I got on the plane. It was a quiet night flight, with no noisy children or drunks snoring loudly.

I slept softly and soundly, waking up just before the plane landed.

The flight landed at Shenzhen Airport one hour late. I look at my watch. It's 1:30 a.m. Beijing time.

I was the first one out of the plane, carrying my little red suitcase that had followed me for seven years.

Come to Beijing that year, I bought it with half a month's living expenses, value 699, the brand is montejiao.

When I used it as a luxury, I later learned that it is not a luxury.

But I actually love it more, it is also very good, after the destruction, still intact.

I have always believed that everything in this world is spiritual, you treat it well, think it indispensable, it will fight for you.

I almost trotted and panted as I reached the exit. I thought MY face must have been apple red. I wonder if WHEN I see my little Bei, I should go up screaming and give him a big hug.

It's been six months since we last saw each other. Six months, 178 days. It's been like a century.

If I travel back to the Qing Dynasty, kangxi all the Argos have already fallen in love with me.

I think I'd better not be so intense. Xiao Bei doesn't like attention.

He flew from America to Beijing six months ago, and the plane was too late.

I waited for him in T3 for two hours, until he was out of prison, we just smiled at each other, shyly bowed our heads to each other.

I took his backpack, he pulled his trunk, and we rode the elevator to the taxi in sweet silence.

As we got into the taxi, I put my hand in his and he buried his head in my hair. We both felt we didn't need to say another word.

But, my little North?

I suddenly appeared in the pass, there is no one behind. I was tired of waiting in the crowd, searching for the face of small North, I could not find, I some panic.

I embarrassed leng, in the gaze of the people, I quickly swept over the face of each person waiting.

But, no, no Little North.

I was slightly embarrassed to try to calm out of the exit, looking for a corner of it to take out the phone, put the phone on.

I think xiao Bei must have gone to the toilet, or to buy water, or he will suddenly think of should send me a bunch of flowers? Stupid, they don't sell flowers at the airport.

Fool's small north, I have you enough, I have you have all the flowers in the world.

Mobile phone boot ten seconds later, a short message float in, Shenzhen welcomes me, another short message float in, is small north.

The small north said: joy, temporary something, can not go to pick you up, you first take a taxi to the hotel, I will look for you later.

My phone is still vibrating. China Mobile welcomes me. Amy asks if I'm here...

But I suddenly did not have the strength, the body as if for a moment was dropped from the sky a huge pipe was drained.

I shook my head, I told myself that this is wrong, small north may really have things, as a woman who can hand blade cockroaches in the home, small north does not come to pick me up and how will it be.

two

I dash decisively to shenzhen airport taxi take place, on a green taxi, wow, good luck, young boy driver to see me run of sweat, active open air conditioning.

The car was speeding along the highway in Shenzhen. I looked at the city I was completely unfamiliar with, the tall and dense palm trees, the damp air that seemed to drip, the moon outside the window was so big, ah, this is the city that Xiao Bei grew up in.

The driver turned on the radio in the middle of the night, and the familiar music began to play, which was fan Weiqi's "The Most Important Decision". I, who was not always sentimental, was suddenly hit, and a gentle mist came out of my eyes without any warning.

"I always thought I would never find anyone as good to me as you were. Good enough to take care of my family, my friends, and stand up for you. You still have, a bunch of problems, stubborn, angry fairy jump. But there are so few things in life that are perfect. We can't want everything..."

Fan Weiqi sang this song on "Kangxi is coming" before marriage, I was touched to death.

When I was making a video with Xiao Bei on QQ, I sent it to xiao Bei to see. Xiao Bei laughed in the video and said that I would sing this song to you when you marry me.

This is a song about me and Xiao Bei.

Within 10 minutes of my arrival in Shenzhen, I heard this song. I felt it was a gift from God. It was like a beam of light that dissipated all the negativity and gloom that I had just developed.

I opened a little path of Windows, and a little wind forced its way through the cracks, my hair flying.

I returned a text message to Xiao Bei, saying THAT I had arrived, already on the taxi, waiting for him at the hotel.

The hotel is in Futian District, and Amy helped to book it. Their company can get the contract price, which is called sunflower Apartment.

Amy said she did. It's a nice little duplex. The point is, it's close to Xiao Bei's house, just across the street, according to Xiao Bei.

Twenty-two years old xiaobei still lives with his mother, so when he sleeps, his face still has a child's naughtiness and satisfaction.

Xiao Bei is unlike anyone I've ever dated. When he kisses me, he smells like soap.

I often laugh at the smell of milk powder on his body, he was said several times not happy, angry said that although I am a few years younger, but the shoulder is still solid and reliable.

I mean mean smile, but just laugh he can't hear the subtext in my heart, I actually smell is the taste of love him.

three

The taxi sped away of drove 40 minutes, arrived the shi Xia north one street, I am afraid the driver can not find, still used the IPHONE to set a position, the fact proves, the person good driver person is also reliable, silent and slightly shy of the driver, without any deviations found sunflower apartment.

I checked in quickly and entered the room. I took a bath. I blew my hair and painted a beautiful makeup that I could not see.

This toss has been near three o 'clock, I looked at the phone, small north did not return my message.

I turn on the TV, carelessly adjust the channel, after a turn, feel bored, time just passed ten minutes.

Staring at the table of the mobile phone, I began to daze, very naive to the mobile phone imitation bai Su Zhen with the idea of practice, let the small north said "I'm good, now come over" the message quickly flew in, so bored murder and 15 minutes of time, I suddenly become a little depressed.

I finally picked up the phone and sent a text message to the small north said, "Room number is 2506, I'm a little sleepy, are you?" .

I turned off the TV and stared at the clock in the room. It was so slow.

Mobile phone SMS prompt stereo, I grabbed over, the small north said, "wait for me half an hour, if you are sleepy, sleep first".

I looked at the phone, the heart is instantaneous collapse of a piece, I thought the small north will call over, with his always bright voice heartless laugh I said, hey! See, I told you there was something wrong with your RP. You can get stuck with anything like a delayed flight. I just finished my work. I will go there now. Has my hair turned white after waiting so long?

But Xiao Bei didn't.

Small north looks like the heart of the sent a text message, this text message through a thousand mountains and rivers layer upon layer into my mobile phone, but as if a sweet bullet, hit my heart the most terrified of that point.

My unhinged and always accurate sixth sense asked me with a contemptuous smile, hey, did you smell a bad breath?

No, no, no. I shake my head. I don't smell anything.

I hypnotize myself. I stop myself.

I jumped in front of myself, holding up the STOP sign.

But it didn't work.

I began to recall, we have always boasted strong feelings, when began to change it.

The timeline has been subtly dragged to the middle of May. Yes, the middle of May.

four

Xiao Bei was supposed to be back in mid-May. Yes. The middle of May.

But in order to graduate earlier, in order to graduate with me earlier, he chose to work hard for a SUMMER, sacrifice a month of vacation, and strive to pass two courses, so that he could finish the course next spring, come back to China, come to Beijing, and stay with me.

Can also be that a month, never with me red face of the small north, and I quarrel.

For trivial things, small North is very sticky to me, but that month, he no longer sticky to me, his love every day is calculus.

Calculus robbed my lover for a short time and I was not willing to seize the opportunity to harrase xiao Bei and stick to him.

Finally, one day, when I was doing the transocean video, Xiao Bei said to me, "Joy, can you let me have some space?"

I was stunned, and I was full of grievances and all of a sudden I was like, oh.

"You're not happy? I didn't mean anything. I just wanted more time to do my homework."

And I said, oh.

The small north said, "You must be not happy, then forget I never said good?"

I said, Oh...

Small Beijing language and Culture university gas changed: "you old so unilateral refuse to communicate, I also have no time to coax you."

I knew xiao Bei was angry, so I said, "Xiao Bei, have you ever thought that when I need my own space, when I'm really sleepy at 3 a.m. Beijing time and 3 p.m. USA time, you ask me to accompany you, and I never say no?"

Small north more angry: "you have never said to do such a thing to make you wronged make you unhappy make you feel you selfless dedication sacrifice matchless! If you tell me that, I won't force you to stay with me."

"Small north, don't you know, I in your world, never say no."

"If you are not willing to do so, then I would rather you tell me no."

I was silent, and so was Xiao Bei.

Thirty seconds later, I turned off the video and turned off QQ. Lying on the bed, put the phone aside, waiting for Xiao Bei to call me.

But that night, I waited for a long time, small north did not call me.

I wait for the claw of the heart, regret, ten thousand arrows through the heart.

For the first time, I was afraid xiao Bei would leave me. Until now, I never thought I would lose Xiao Bei.

Xiao Bei is my whole life to me.

I was suddenly afraid of the so-called life, like a dream.

That blow, not less than the first time I know, the original people will die, more powerful feelings, there will always be a person to go first.

So I wait until the day is bright, uneasy on THE QQ, small north's head is bright.

As soon as I went online, he sent a shock screen, he said, joy, you wake up.

It was as if nothing had happened to Xiao Bei. Last night's quarrel was a dream, his dream and my nightmare.

I said, "Yeah, I'm awake. I'm going to brush my teeth and wash my face and go to work."

"That today also want to be confident full of silly Xi Xi full of vitality!" , the small north pasted in the back of the words is launching a dynamic light wave of ultraman, indeed full of vitality.

Our only quarrel ended so hastily. Since then, I dare not stick to Xiao Bei again. I want to give him his space.

Xiao Bei is still good to me, but he no longer often interacts with me on Weibo, no longer wants to know where I am anytime and anywhere, my heart is always empty.

But I told myself, if that's what Xiao Bei wants, THEN I'll give it to him.

I believe that he loves me.

five

I was already asleep on the sofa when the doorbell rang.

I sat up and tried to open the door. I lost my balance and fell back on the sofa.

The TV had been muted before I fell asleep, and only the picture was constantly changing, bright and dark.

There are people who appear on TV shopping shows with startled faces, seemingly selling weight-loss products.

I was stunned for not more than three seconds, then steadied myself and opened the door.

Open the door, small north standing in front of the door, we four eyes meet, he smiled, that smile, how to say? A little rusty?

Without thinking, I welcomed him in, and before I could reach the couch, he grabbed me from behind.

We stopped where we were, and I let him hold me.

Then I turned around and kissed him on the lips. He was still the same boy who smelled of soap. This moment was filled with a surge of peace.

Xiao Bei leaned over and pinned me to the sofa. He took my hand and kissed me again. That smile still shone through the night, but somehow I still felt different.

We quietly kiss for a while, my eyes closed, suddenly, xiao Bei stopped, I heard a slight laugh.

When I opened my eyes, he was looking at the TV, already smiling.

I sat up, trimming my tousled hair to make myself more serious. "Now kissing me can be comedic?"

"No, you haven't seen this infomercial? It's hilarious."

"As a woman who is full of humor, there is nothing in the world that makes me laugh. Understand? A comedian's sorrow."

"Ha ha, you ah you, or all kinds of incorrigible." Small north smile come over pat my head, by my flexible dodge.

"What is so important that you can forget the first thing you want to do with me?" I asked with mock carelessness.

"Well, it's nothing really." Xiao Bei took out a cigarette from his trouser pocket and lit one. "I'm stuck with my high school classmates. They want to celebrate my birthday."

"Oh, you also remember today is your birthday," I got up to rummage in the trunk, "Here, a birthday present," I threw a package on the sofa to small North.

"Why buy me such an expensive wallet!" Xiao Bei could see the brand of the wallet at a glance.

"Loathe to give up children not Wolf, I am so scheming, will not do a loss-making business. Open it?"

Xiao Bei opened the bag with a smile, and then opened the wallet, inside with gold engraved with xiao Bei's initials, ZXB.

But the eyes of the small north were depressed down, as if a wounded puppy.

I didn't know what went wrong, but I kept explaining, "You have to wait 15 days to get an inscription in China. Fortunately, Amy just flew to Hong Kong a few days ago and waited 15 minutes in central to get it. It looks like all luxury stores in the country should be burned down."

Xiao Bei forced a smile and looked up at me. "Joy, you shouldn't be so nice to me."

"Who am I good to? Besides, I am putting a long line to catch a big fish, ok?" "By the way, I fired my boss the other day. The magazine world is a tough place to be. Besides, I've been an editor for so long that I'm fed up with reading other people's travel stories, so I decided to write a long one of my own. It might be a hit."

Small north one leng, pinch out smoke, "so big thing you how also didn't say with me?"

"You're busy... He hasn't been in touch with me for a few days..."

"That travel magazine of yours is actually quite nice, so leisurely."

"That's all in the past. Let's not talk about it. The most important thing now is our journey."

"You are heartless enough", small north wry smile shake head, "joy, your life seems to be nothing big matter."

"I do." I mean it.

"There are? Can you tell me?"

"Zhao Xiaobei."

The small north shook his head and laughed, and took me to the arms, "I'm sleepy, sleep? I think I have to get up and go home at seven o 'clock and pretend to sleep at home before my mom goes to work so she doesn't know I'm not home."

"Tut, tut, good boy, I'll have one like you one day."

"Lovely what, not still deceive people."

"Better to cheat than not to cheat."

"I can't beat you. Go to sleep!"

We went to the bedroom on the second floor of the room to lie down. Xiao Bei didn't take a shower, which seemed to indicate that he didn't want to do anything.

Still, I tried to get in his arms and tease his sensitivities.

It's been so long, and as a woman who has normal physical needs and keeps her body intact, it's like I have needs.

As a boy of the right age, I believe xiao Bei also has some.

Can, three minutes less than, small north of the slight snore sounded.

I hear snore like an abandoned Popsicle as frozen, and like a red burning small stove, instant by ice water in the face pouring, every pore issued "ZI la zi la" sound of grief.

After looking at the ceiling for a minute, I said to myself, Joy, go to sleep, he's just tired.

Soon I fell asleep, because I was tired, too.

We are all so tired.

six

I woke up at exactly nine o 'clock in the morning. Xiao Bei was no longer with me. When he had left, I did not know.

I got up and went to the first floor to drink water. I pulled the curtain open. It was foggy in Shenzhen today, so I opened the door of the balcony, and the damp air rushed in.

Look at the phone, there are no new texts or calls.

I sent a text message to Xiao Bei saying THAT I was up and checking out at twelve o 'clock. I asked him whether I should leave my luggage at the front desk or at his house.

Then I slowly brush my teeth, take a bath and get dressed, read the local news of Shenzhen for a while, and go to the first floor of the hotel to eat the breakfast buffet, the pattern is not bad, I ate a lot of papaya, hoping that my breasts will become bigger.

Then picked up the phone to look at the time, an hour and a half has passed, the small north still did not return my message, I think he may not see, then dialed the phone past.

The phone rang twice, but was choked off, I froze for a moment.

Soon the small north's message came in, "I just accompanied the school in the hospital to remove the line of wisdom teeth, did not see the message."

I again one leng, "with the classmate have what inconvenient answer my telephone of, why pinch."

I full of doubt of upstairs, just come out from the elevator, small north of the phone to call over.

"Joy, just in the hospital is very quiet not convenient."

"The dentist's office is so inconvenient, but you don't have to explain. I feel strange when you do. I'm not a girl who has so much to do. I'm just saying it, just listen."

"Do you want to put your luggage in the hotel or in my house?"

"I don't care."

"That still put hotel, go to Bangkok plane is tonight ten o 'clock?"

"Well, I guess we have to leave at seven o 'clock. For international flights, it's about two hours early to the airport."

"What are your plans for the afternoon?

"Oh?" I was asked leng, want to say I am a stranger, this must not ask you?

"I'm probably going to have lunch with my mom at noon, and my sister's coming in the afternoon, and we're going to see each other, and I think it'll be about three or four."

"Oh, I don't have any plans." I tried to hide my disappointment, but joked, "Aren't you going to take me to meet your mother? Am I that bad?"

"Ah, my mother that person is afraid of living, I am afraid you met embarrassed."

"Oh, all right. Or else... I can stroll alone. Comrade Xiaoping never came back after his southern tour, so it is up to me to inspect the construction of the special zone." My lips are light, but my heart is already magnificent.

Xiao Bei doesn't let me see his mother this matter, but big or small, now in me, would rather think of this matter a little small.

"Well, there is a mall called COCO Park right next to our house. You can walk about 10 minutes from Sunflower apartment through an underground passageway. You can hang out inside and wait for me while you kill time.

"Oh, well...

Confused, I hung up the phone, a little angry in the mind, and feel that there is nothing good angry.

So I went upstairs again, set my alarm clock to 11:30, and lay down again.

I closed my eyes on the bed, the gas was not, but the emergence of filar silk sad, like cancer cells, rapid propagation spread.

I felt that there was something wrong, but I could not tell. I could only attribute all this to the affeteness and sensitivity of female wenqing. I could only scold myself in the bottom of my heart for thinking too much, not growing up like Lin Daiyu, but doing what Sister Lin did.

Insulting myself in this way, I too fell asleep.

Hotel air conditioning, still good big, I in bed, wrapped tightly in the quilt.