Bad Boy's Sweet Lover

Chapter 2

"What is up, big baller!" Shaun said, pushing his sunglasses up his nose and sucking down some brown soda of his own. He set the cup down, wiped its condensation on his pants and held his fist out. "Glad you could make it."

Zander ignored the fist and pulled back a metal chair that scraped against the concrete, rattling his brain with its deep amplification. "This place is a madhouse," he said, setting his cell phone on the table and taking a seat.

"Everyone loves Panera," Shaun replied, sinking his teeth into a Smokehouse Turkey Panini.

Zander stretched his arms out as a baby cried a few tables over, slicing his headache in two.

"You gonna go inside and order?"

"In a minute."

Shaun wiped his hands on a crumpled napkin. "Jonny just called, he's not gonna make it."

Zander snorted, gazing out over the jam-packed parking lot. "After the shots he pushed on us, I'm not surprised."

"Sounds like you guys had quite the night last night. So...how was she?"

Zander turned back to Shaun.

"The hot little blond you pulled from Milwaukee Street last night. I wanna hear every detail. Carrie took the girls to a movie so don't hold back. It's just you and me." He tipped his head down and peered at Zander over the top of his sunglasses. "Doctor/patient confidentiality."

Zander chuckled. "You wish you were a doctor."

A burst of air ruffled Shaun's lips. "Try reading my dental degree sometime, player."

Zander's stomach rumbled and he checked the bulky watch strangling his wrist.

"This is a safe-house," Shaun said, outlining the grated table with his index fingers. "So go ahead and tell me everything that happened. Leave no stone unturned, my friend. You are safe here."

Zander stole a quick drink from Shaun's watered down pop, extinguishing the cotton mouth making his tongue stick to the roof of his mouth. "She was insane."

"Now we're getting somewhere!"

"I just pray to God I never run into her again."

Shaun's face soured. "Jon said she was hot as hell."

"She was, but the stuff coming out of her mouth was waaay outta bounds."

Shaun leaned in closer, crunching down on some salt and vinegar kettle chips.

Zander took off his shades and rubbed his itchy eyes, the crying baby behind him stepping on his last nerve.

"Whoa, looks like she kept you up all night. Nice."

"She tried to. Took three cups of coffee just to get her out the door this morning."

"Brutal! I hate when they stick around like that. Who does that?"

Zander slipped his shades back on and lowered his voice. "You ever have a chick ask you for anal?"

Shaun stopped chewing, his face instantly sobering. "Not without the money up front."

Zander c****d his head to one side. "You had s*x with a hooker?"

Shaun fanned a hand through the air at him. "Come on, what happened?"

Zander took a quick look around the sun lit patio, its inhabitants dressed in colorful summer dresses and hats on a perfect summer's day. It looked like something out of a TV show. He leaned forward, pulling Shaun closer. "Well, I was right in the middle of...ya know, and she's like I'll let you do whatever you want to me."

Shaun nodded rapidly, hungry for more of the story and his grilled sandwich.

"And I'm thinking to myself, kinda late for that, lady."

Shaun snorted and wiped his nose with a fresh napkin.

"Next thing I know, she's asking me if I want to put it in her butt."

Shaun's burst of laughter quickly morphed into choking.

"Do you need the Heimlich? Should I call 911?"

Shaun shook his head and tried to catch his breath. He cleared his throat with some soda and coughed some more. "So what'd you say to her?"

Zander folded his arms across an aqua blue t-shirt that set off his brown eyes. "I said okay."

"What? Are you serious?"

Zander laughed. "Come on, man, you know that's a one way street for me."

Shaun spread his hands out. "Hey, everyone experiments now and then. So what happened next?"

Zander's stomach rumbled again and he got up. "Hang on," he said, heading inside much to Shaun's dismay. A few minutes later, he returned with a round tray of food and continued his harrowing tale.

Shaun dropped his napkin to the empty tray and brushed his hands together. "Wow, that is some freaky shit."

Zander swallowed a bite of his Panini, wishing it was a greasy cheeseburger. "Right?" he said, sucking down some blue Powerade. "I thought for a minute she was going to call the cops and have me arrested for rape."

Shaun folded his arms across his chest and shook his head. "She sounds wild."

"I told her I had a ski mask and she about creamed the sheets."

"Holy s**t, the lucky burglar," Shaun laughed, draining his drink. "That's an oldie but a goodie." He glanced around and leaned forward. "Do you really have a ski mask?"

Zander frowned. "Do I look like a bank robber to you?"

"Some people actually use them for skiing, ya know." He covered his mouth with a fist and quietly belched. "Jon said her friend, April, was lame in the sack, so it looks like you picked the long straw."

"Isn't the long one supposed to be the good one?"

"Jon said that at one point he secretly checked her pulse."

Zander laughed out loud. "We should've gone for these two brunettes over by the bar. I tried to tell him and the next thing I know he's talking to Megan and April."

"I gotta be honest, I don't miss the bar scene, man."

Zander pressed his lips together.

"Okay, maybe a little, but I get to live vicariously through you and Jon, my last two single friends."

Zander rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses and watched a pretty lady lead a cute little girl with blond curls and an orange sundress out onto the patio by the hand. They snagged the last open table and sat down.

Shaun stared at Zander with his mouth hanging open.

Zander stopped chewing. "What?"

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That soccer mom just gave you f**k me eyes."

Zander nonchalantly glanced over at the woman who was busy helping the little girl open a bag of chips. He lifted his shoulders to his ears. "What can I say? I'm a people person."

"All I know is I wouldn't want to be out there shacking up with a different psycho every night of the week, always changing your phone number and having to move out of state."

"I would hardly call the occasional weekend hookup every night of the week," Zander replied, wolfing down some barbeque chips. "It's not that bad. Besides, I always do a strip search to make sure they're not carrying any weapons."

Shaun leaned forward and clasped his hands on the table. "Don't you ever get the urge to settle down?"

"Not really."

"Zander, you're almost thirty-five, for Christ's sake."

Zander's eyebrows drew together. "I just turned thirty-four."

"Either way, you're middle-aged now."

"You're middle-aged," Zander mumbled under his breath.

Shaun stared blankly at him. "Nice come back. The point is you can't keep this lifestyle up forever. You need to find a nice girl to settle down with so Carrie and I can have someone to go to dinner with who doesn't want to talk about The Doodlebops all night long."

Zander opened his mouth to say something and took another bite of his sandwich instead.

"Face it, man, you have a serious commitment problem and you need help."

Zander stopped chewing and furrowed his brow. "I just signed a two year contract with a new cable provider."

Shaun laughed. "See what I mean? You can't even talk about it without making a joke. It's a defense mechanism."

"I don't have a commitment problem because I like my life. I like doing my own thing whenever I want without worrying about someone else's plans for the day."

"You just haven't met the right person yet. Believe me, all of that will change when you do. When you meet the right person, you'll want to bend over backwards for them just to change a light bulb, or fix the toaster, or whatever, but you're not going to meet the right person shopping where you shop."

Zander snorted and took a sip of his blue drink.

"You need to start shopping at higher end stores."

"Like where?The library? The grocery store? This isn't a Lifetime movie."

Shaun jerked his chin behind Zander. "How about that brunette over there? She looks like a nice girl."

Zander twisted in his chair and lowered his head, peering over his sunglasses at the twenty-something sitting all alone across the patio, which seemed like a crime in of itself. He had never seen someone look so beautiful while working on a laptop. Her long, chocolate-colored hair danced with the gentle breeze as her slender fingers gracefully punched away at the keyboard. A white tank top set off her firm breasts and tanned arms. His eyes dipped beneath the table where long legs spilled from a pair of tight jean shorts. He licked his lips and looked back up to find her staring right at him. His eyes widened and he whipped back around, knocking over his cold drink.

Shaun jumped back in his chair to avoid the spill but the chair's back legs refused to budge against the concrete. He teetered on two legs, his arms wavering in the air for balance, and slowly crashed backwards with a loud crack. The incessant chatter around them stopped on a dime. Shaun rolled to his feet in the thunder struck silence that followed, his face flushing as he realized all eyes were upon him. He held his hands up for everyone to see. "I'm okay, just a huge bee. Sorry bout that, I'm allergic." The crowd stared at him with blank expressions. He pulled his chair back up and plopped down, careful to avoid the blue liquid dripping from the table. "Are you high?" he hissed, glaring at Zander.

Zander broke into a mad case of the giggles and righted his empty cup. "That was the funniest thing I've ever seen," he wheezed. "I wish to God I had been rolling video."