K.I.A.R.A

Chapter 1 - The New Guy

How am I feeling today? Everybody wants to know.

I smile and let them know I am okay, but deep down inside I am breaking down slowly but I try to stay strong especially when I’m around those who know me well.

I shield my emotions from them because it makes me forget everything for a little while and makes things easier for the time being.

Throughout my day, all I can think about is going home and curling up on my bed letting out all the tears which I’ve been hiding away all day, letting the loneliness consume me. I feel tired both emotionally and physically. I just want someone to be there for me, to tell me that it’s all going to be okay but how can I have that when I won’t let anyone in, I know I have to be strong, not only for everyone but for myself, for once I want things to be easy but we all know that nothing joyful comes easy, life is hard.

I drive through the parking to find a pleasant spot in the shade as the day seems like it’s going to be hot. ‘Pine View’ College is where I am and have been for the past year and a half.

‘Pine View’ College is one of the best colleges in the area and they offer a variety of courses to pursue your future in a career which you dream of being in.

Creative Writing is my first class for the day as I’m majoring in English so one day I can live my dream and become a published writer or news journalist.

“Hey Kiara,” Elise says, pulling me into one of her famous bear hugs.

“Hey Elise, how are you?” I ask. It’s a Monday morning and we haven’t seen each other all weekend as she spent most of it with her boyfriend Jake.

Elise is my best friend, we met each other when we were in kindergarten on our first day and we have been best friends ever since. We have been through a rough patch a year ago but we got through it.

Looking deeply into my eyes she replies “I’m good thanks, how are you sweetie?”

“I’m good thank you.” I reply plastering a fake smile on my face hoping that she would think that it is a genuine one.

She replies with a reassuring smile “That’s good.” and we make our way up to our first class together.

Mrs. Dee walks into the classroom and everyone sits down at their seats, Elise sits behind me so that we don’t get distracted in class by wanting to talk to one another.

Elise and I are very much alike and we both decided that one day we would both become published writers and we are now on the path to make that dream come true.

We both love to write so we are always out buying diaries and notebooks as well as many varieties of pens, even though they end up sitting blank for month's sometimes even years but we both know that there will come a day when we will use them and we will be grateful for buying them and keeping them after all these years.

Mrs. Dee starts the day off by talking about a short story which we will be writing next semester upon our return from our short holiday away from college. It has to be written on a place where we dream of going to anywhere in the world and exactly what we would do there for a week.

There are twenty-five students in the class, there are a few who sit in silence and hold back to themselves and there are the few students who are the teacher's favourite like Lucy who sits right in front and tries to do better in the subject than Elise and I.

It's our final week of the third semester of our second last college year and waiting ahead of us at the end of the week is a whole amazing three weeks of holiday, away from all of the work, all of the hard studying and waking up early which is the best feeling ever, now I get to sleep late.

I am excited because I know that I will be spending tons of time on the beach with Elise and Jake as well as catching a summer’s holiday tan and forgetting about the world for a while especially after everything that has recently happened in my life. I’m taking down as many notes as I can about the essay; these are the main points which need to be in the story in order to obtain good results.

While I’m busy writing in my newly bought blue notebook, I hear some of my classmates whispering amongst one another and as I glimpse up I see a new guy walking into the classroom, he hands a note to Mrs. Dee and walks towards me as the only empty place is right beside me. He is gorgeous with a tanned body and muscles which you can see from the way his shirt hugs him.

In a mysterious voice, he whispers hello before sitting down and pulling out a notebook from his backpack.

“Hi.” I say feeling the blood surge from my face and I don’t know what to say, I distract my thoughts aside from him and back to my story.

I'm not an easy girl to talk to especially when I think he’s a good looking guy which he is. Eventually, I’ll gather the courage to say a few more words other than ‘hi’ but it will take a while and it will be easier once I get to know them, even if it’s only a few details.

I divert my thoughts back to my story, I'm thinking of writing about London since it's the place I would genuinely love to go to and have been planning on going to see all of the history it has as well as all of the different sightseeing buildings like 'The big ben' 'The Palace' which is the official London residence and the principle workplace of the British sovereign, 'The London Bridge', 'Tower Bridge', which is 119 years old and it has become an iconic symbol of London, I also would like to go to the London Dungeon which is a big tourist attraction, it's also one of the eight Dungeons in Europe. I've done research on London and I have so much information on precisely everything to do in London as a tourist.

“Will she ever hold back talking?” Elise whispers sarcastically from the desk behind me interrupting my thoughts. I turn around to look at her and shake my head signaling a no.

Mrs. Dee gives us a few minutes to think about our stories and write down the main points to bring our short story together, Elise and I speak like we always do while we jot down ideas as well as help each other with ideas and main attractions for our chosen places.

“What are you going to write about? Or are your thoughts about someone who is now sitting next to you?” Elise asks in a whispered voice so he couldn’t hear her but I’m sure he did because from what I can see, he is grinning.

“Will you not ask silly questions? And besides, he is sitting right next to me so keep it quiet.” I reply and a minute of silence falls over us. “I want to write about London and you?” I ask speaking a bit higher with the last sentence so he doesn’t think that we are talking about him but the grin remains on his face.

Grinning she answers “New York, you should know that.” Elise has always dreamt about graduating college and moving to New York to pursue her career in writing.

“Sorry to interrupt you ladies but do one of you have a pen that I can borrow?” he asks looking at me, eyes filled with questions and ignoring Elise even though he directed his question to both of us.

“Yes sure.” I get a pen out of my bag and hand it to him.

“Thank you.” he says taking the pen from me without touching my hand and turning back around to face the front of the classroom.

Half an hour later the bell rings for the end of the class and the beginning of the next one. I pack my notepad into my bag as well as my pen bag.

“Thanks for letting me use your pen.” he says standing beside me while towering over me making me feel smaller than I already am.

“It's a pleasure. Have a good day.” I say, retrieving the pen, picking my bag up off the floor and my pink coloured file from my desk.

I smile at him as he makes way for Elise and I to walk past him and we walk out of the classroom.

As I walk out of the doorway and into the crowded corridor I feel a hand on my shoulder I turn around to see him looking down at me. “I gaze up at up at him through my eyelashes.

“Hi, I'm sorry to startle you, but please could you tell me where my next class is? I'm still getting used to where all of the classrooms and buildings are.” he asks while he hands me his timetable.

“Follow us; it looks like the two of you have the next class together.” Elise responds, grabbing his timetable out of my hand and giving it back to him, she locks her arm into mine while I try to stay as calm as I can. We walk up the corridor and take our first right down the hallway. He breaks the silence between the three of us and says “I'm sorry to be in the way.”

“You aren't. We are glad to help.” Elise replies with a genuine smile which I was always jealous of, she was always the friendlier one, I was the quieter one who likes to keep to myself and only have a few close friends, and I don’t do well in crowds

“Thanks, you are both so kind.” he says with a heart-warming grin spread across his face.

As we walk down the corridor I see Jake standing by his locker smiling as sweetly as ever at Elise as he always does and I know that this is where Elise will leave my side and I will be alone with him. Why did we have to be the last to walk out? Why couldn't it be someone else? Why couldn’t he be in the class with Elise instead of me? I thought to myself.

“This is my cue; I will see you at lunch.” Elise says unhooking her arm from mine and walking towards Jake and he gives me a wave, with a huge smile plastered across his face.

“I’m guessing that’s her boyfriend?” he asks.

“Yes, it is.” I reply with a smile.

“They fit each other so perfectly.” he says as we walk side by side down the corridor towards our next class.

“Yes, they do.” A smile forms on my face but I feel lonely on the inside, wishing I could have what they do.

“My name is Travis by the way.”

“Kiara.” I reply with a slight smile. We enter our next class which is Journalism and the teacher walks in behind us.

“Thank you for helping me, I really appreciate your kindness.” he grins from ear to ear.

“It's a pleasure.” I walk towards my desk feeling the redness rise to the surface of my cheeks.

The only empty seat is at the back of the classroom a few tables behind me; he walks past and slowly brushes my arm with his hand which sends chills down my back.

While the teacher hands out notes I turn a few inches in my seat to admire him and he is staring right back at me and beside him is no one other than my ex-boyfriend, Riley.

I smile slightly at Travis and drop my face when I see Riley trying to mouth a hello at me, it hurts me to much too look at him, I know I’m probably being rude but I’m scared that he will cut that last strand of strength I have for today, I don’t want to have a breakdown here in front of everyone, especially in front of him, I don’t want him thinking that he’s made me weak.

Travis is my advanced computer class and he ends up sitting next to me, Elise is also in this class but she sits a few seats in front of me while I sit all the way at the back.

“So, how has your day been?” Travis asks as we sit down.

“It’s been okay, I can’t wait for it to finish, how about yours?” Our teacher hadn’t arrived yet so all I could do right now was carry on with this conversation and try my best not to be all shy.

“Better than I expected, especially with it being my first day.”

“That’s good then but I’m sure you can’t wait until the end of the week.” I state.

With a smirk, he replies, “Why do you say that?”

“It’s the last week of college.” I reply with a giggle.

“A great start.” He says with a smile across his face. “So what does everyone do around here for fun?”

“There is a beach bar down by the main beach where most of these people go to, it’s a lot of fun.”

“I take it that you go there often?”

“Yes, it’s literally a five-minute walk from my house.”

“That’s pretty cool.” he replies and soon the teacher walks in and gives us work to do a few minutes later.

My last class of the day is Poetry and Elise is in it with me, we have to write our own poem in 20 lined sentences, it must include at least four figures of speech, imagery and it must have a good structure and meaning to it.

The day goes by slowly but finally the end of it arrives, it’s a really long but interesting day. Travis is in another two of my classes (English literature and Modern Drama), there is something about him which makes me feel shy and anxious every time he is close by.

The week goes by slowly and I get to know Travis a little more each day as we have a few classes together, he seems like a really likeable guy and we seem to have a few things in common, he wants to become a journalist for the ‘Lakewood’ Newspaper which explains as to why he is in most of my classes.

The end of the week has finally arrived, Elise and I put our files and books in our lockers where they will be out of the way for the next few days while we are on holiday. We work our way down towards campus café, order toasted sandwiches and fries to share for lunch, Jake meets up with us a few minutes later and we sit at a table outside where you can hear the roar of the ocean.

Kissing Elise, Jake asks how her day was and they sit down and so do I.

“It was good but long and yours?”

“It was probably longer than yours. I missed you.”

“I missed you so much more.” Jake was busy with journalism meetings for most of the day so they barely got to see one another.

“Kiara, why do you seem like you're not here with us? Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yes, I’m fine, I just had a really long day.” I reply feeling emotionally and physically tired.

“I agree with you there.” Jake replies. “I saw you with that new guy again this morning.” he says changing the subject.

“He wouldn’t stay away from her all week, I think he likes our Kiara.” Elise replies nudging Jake.

“You're such a liar.”

“All of the girls can't stay away from him.” Jake says rolling his eyes.

“Exactly, so why would he specifically take a liking to me?” I ask, taking a bite of my sandwich.

“You are an awesome person.” Elise says.

“Exactly, and maybe he is attracted to girls who don't chase after him like every other girl in this school.” Jake says, agreeing.

“I'm sure I'm not the only girl who doesn't make a fuss about him and you are both just saying that because I am your friend.”

“Then why does he take a liking to only you and no other girl?”

“I doubt he has taken a liking to me, I’ve seen him with most of the girls in our year and even with the first years.”

“Kiara, why did he only look at you when he walked into our class first thing Monday morning? He asked only you for help, why did he walk through the school hallways with you the whole week but not with any other girl?”

“We had a few classes together, maybe you just didn’t see him go to any of his other classes.”

With a guilty glare Jake jumps into our conversation, “Stop making excuses, he has a liking for you.”

“That's what you said about Riley and look where we are now.” I feel the tears in my eyes but I hold them back for the time being.

“This time it will be different, not every guy is the same. Kiara you deserve nothing but the best.” Jake says in a sympathetic tone.

“Kiara this might be your lucky chance.” Elise says while taking a few fries from Jake’s plate to consume.

“No, I don't think so.” I reply, thinking about Riley and the way he watched me the morning in class that was the first and last time I saw him the whole day.

“Forget about Riley.” Elise says as if she was reading my mind and she takes my hand in hers.

“I'm trying to, but I can't. It's hard to forget about someone who was your first love, someone who you thought was the one for you and then turns out not to be. You share so much of your life with that person and you think that you know them but you, in the end, you actually don't.” I say feeling the tears form in my eyes but not wanting to break down, I have been strong around my friends and I have to keep on being strong for just a little while longer, until I get home, until I am utterly alone.

“I know that it's hard and I admire you for being so strong through all of this but the only way that things will get better is if you forget about him and move on.”

Suddenly I begin to think about the days Riley and I spent together, the day he asked me to be his girlfriend and all of the memories we made. Why am I having these memories of something which took place a year and a half ago and ended three months ago? Do I simply feel lonely? Do I miss everything that we had? Do I miss having the company of someone?

It is still so clear to me, I still recall the feeling of shyness as well as the excitement and butterflies in my stomach; no one could give me that same feeling any time shortly, maybe one day in the future but not today.