CHAPTER 19 — “Unsteady Ground”
1532 Words
Malisa didn’t recognize herself anymore — that was the first thing she realised when she woke up the next morning. Not because she looked different, but because nothing inside her felt familiar. Her room was the same, her uniform was the same, her timetable was the same… but she wasn’t.
And the worst part?
She didn’t know how to get back.
She moved slowly, gathering her curls into a rough bun, slipping into her shoes like her mind was underwater. Her phone buzzed once — a DM from Nia reminding her of their group presentation — but she ignored it. Then another notification came in, and this one forced her breathing to pause.
Keon
Hope u got home safe yday.
She saw it last night. She still hadn’t opened it.
She still didn’t open it now.
Malisa shoved her phone into her pocket, grabbed her bag, and left the house before her overthinking could drag her down again.
College was loud.
Too loud.
Everyone else seemed to be operating at double speed — laughing, gossiping, rushing through the corridors. And then there was her, moving like someone pressed slow motion on her life. She kept her hood up, hoping she could slip through the morning unnoticed.
She didn’t.
At her locker, Priya spotted her instantly.
“Malisa,” Priya whispered, eyes softening as she nudged her shoulder, “you look… tired.”
That was the nice way of putting it.
“I’m fine,” Malisa said automatically.
Priya didn’t look convinced, but she also didn’t push. “We’re practicing the presentation in break, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. And please eat something today. I mean, your skin is glowing as usual, babes, but… you look drained.”
She wasn’t wrong.
Malisa tried to smile but it came out weak. “I’ll eat something.”
“Good.” Priya kissed her teeth. “Because you collapsing is NOT on my to-do list.”
Jay appeared behind them out of nowhere, practically shouting, “WHY IS EVERYONE MOVING LIKE THEY’RE LATE TO BE BORN?!”
Priya: “Jay… volume.”
Jay: “We’re in sixth form, you think they care?”
His energy helped a little. Sienna joined them next, linking arms with Malisa.
“You good?” she whispered.
Malisa nodded. Another lie.
But somehow, with them around her, she could breathe a bit better.
Literature — Period One
If there was a subject Malisa normally enjoyed, it was Literature. But today, even the classroom felt different — like the air was heavier, like every vibration in the room rattled in her bones.
She took her seat.
Two seconds later, Rico walked in.
He didn’t sit next to her like he did sometimes. He didn’t nod at her. He didn’t smile. But he looked at her — long enough to see right through her, long enough for her to feel… seen.
He sat diagonally behind her.
The teacher began talking about exam structure, but Malisa’s mind drifted. She stared at her page, pen hovering but not moving.
Her life felt like a glass she dropped months ago — she hadn’t noticed the cracks until now.
Twenty minutes in, her hand began shaking. At first she thought it was just tiredness, but then her vision blurred just slightly — like the letters on the page were trying to escape.
She blinked and blinked again.
No improvement.
She was dissociating.
She hated this feeling — when her body was present but her mind was somewhere else entirely. Floating. Detached. Wrong.
A sheet of paper slid onto her desk quietly.
Her head snapped up.
Rico wasn’t looking at her, but his handwriting definitely was.
Do your eyes hurt or u just tryna look into the spiritual realm again?
Her lips almost twitched.
She wrote underneath:
I’m fine.
He read it, rolled his eyes, and wrote again immediately.
That was a lie so weak it needs a wheelchair.
She almost laughed — almost. But she didn’t have the energy.
She wrote back:
Can we talk later?
Rico read it, paused, then nodded once without turning around.
It was such a small gesture. But it made something in her chest soften.
When the bell rang, she was the first to stand. She felt Rico’s eyes follow her even though he didn’t walk beside her. She stepped into the hallway, blending into the moving crowd.
Then, out of nowhere —
“Liss.”
Her breath hitched.
Keon.
She turned around slowly. He stood a few meters away, hands in his pockets, hood up. He looked tired — not in a rough way, but in a way that said he hadn’t slept peacefully either.
They stared at each other for a moment too long.
“You ignored my message,” he said quietly.
She swallowed. “I didn’t know what to say.”
“You could’ve said anything.”
“You could’ve talked to me before everything fell apart,” Malisa snapped before she could stop herself.
Silence.
He stepped closer, voice low. “I didn’t mean for us to get like this.”
“Neither did I.”
Keon looked down at the floor. “I don’t want beef between us.”
“We’re not beefing,” she said, forcing her voice steady. “We’re just… not us.”
That hurt him. She could see it.
He opened his mouth to speak again—
“Ayo, Malisa!”
Rico.
She closed her eyes briefly.
Timing was a wicked thing.
Rico walked up, expression unreadable, but his presence was loud. Calm, but loud. Keon tensed the moment he saw him.
“You good?” Rico asked her, ignoring Keon entirely.
“I’m fine,” she said.
“She lying,” Keon muttered under his breath.
Rico raised a brow. “You got something to say?”
Keon stepped forward. “Yeah. Stay out of things that don’t involve you.”
“It involves me when she looks like she ain’t slept in days.”
Malisa felt her stomach drop.
“Guys, please—”
Rico stared Keon down. “You cared about that when? Last week?”
“Watch your mouth,” Keon said, jaw clenched.
“I’m watching your actions. They loud.”
Malisa felt her chest tighten — this was exactly what she didn’t want.
“Stop,” she said, stepping between them. “Both of you. Please.”
Rico backed off first, but his eyes stayed cold.
Keon didn’t move. Not because he wanted to fight, but because her stepping between them hurt him in a way he couldn’t hide.
“You choosing sides?” Keon asked quietly.
Her throat burned. “I’m choosing peace.”
Keon looked away, hands curling into fists that weren’t for violence — they were for holding feelings he didn’t know how to express.
“Cool,” he whispered. “Do whatever.”
He walked off before she could say anything else.
Malisa stood there, heart splitting in too many directions.
Rico exhaled. “You shouldn’t let him talk to you like—”
She cut him off sharply. “Don’t. Please. Just… don’t.”
Rico stopped, studying her face. His tone softened. “Aight. My bad.”
She didn’t want his apology. She didn’t want Keon’s confusion. She didn’t want her heart playing tug of war between two people who saw her differently.
She just wanted to breathe.
Break Time — The Stairwell
Instead of meeting her friends, instead of facing the cafeteria, Malisa slipped away to the quiet stairwell beside the science block. She sank onto the steps, letting her head fall into her hands.
Everything was too much.
She didn’t cry — she was too drained to. Her body didn’t even have tears left.
After a few minutes, soft footsteps echoed.
Rico.
He sat on the step below her, not touching her, not crowding her, just close enough to remind her she wasn’t alone.
“You good?” he asked again, voice low and without attitude this time.
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
“That’s honest.”
She sighed shakily. “I feel like… like everything is slipping at the same time.”
“School?”
“Yeah.”
“Home?”
“Kinda.”
“Keon?”
Her silence was answer enough.
He didn’t push. He didn’t lecture. He just leaned back and let the silence exist without choking her.
After a minute, he said softly, “You don’t have to be okay for people to still care about you, y’know.”
She looked at him then — really looked.
He wasn’t flirting. He wasn’t teasing. He wasn’t trying to replace anyone.
He was just there.
That alone made her chest feel warm and heavy all at once.
“Rico…” she whispered, unsure what she wanted to say.
He didn’t make her finish the sentence.
“It’s alright,” he said gently. “Whatever it is — you don’t have to figure it out today.”
Malisa let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.
For the first time in days… she didn’t feel alone.
Not healed.
Not fixed.
Not magically better.
Just… not alone.
And right now, that was enough.
- Writer
