Underneath it All

Chapter 6

My eyes full of sleep, but I hear I loud banging noise down the hall followed by screams.

"Mommy! Where are you Mommy!"

I walk into her room but she is not there. Where could she be?

"Mommy! I'm scared where are you?"

She runs up the stairs covered in bruises.

"I heard loud noises ca-"

"Listen to me sweetheart"

Tears streaming down her face. I wipe the tears away, but I can't seem to wipe away her pain.

"what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Baby listen to me go hide in mommy's closet and don't come out. No matter what you hear you must never come out. I love you so much and I need you to be brave."

"But I don't want to go in the closet. Can I just sleep in the bed with you?"

I hear heavy footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Go! I love you"

I hide in the closet. I hear her screams and then he drags her in the room. He throws her on the bed and climb on top of her.

"You think you could leave me! Huh! You think I would let you get away?!"

"Please John please let me go your going to wake daniel"

"You run off with my son and think I wouldn't find you. Who you been f*****g huh?! Who you been f*****g?!"

He hits her in the face multiple times and she cries even harder.

"please John let me go please you didn't want him anyway please!"

He rips off her clothes and pin her to the bed.

"Do you like that honey? Did you miss me. Look at me when I'm f*****g talking to you."

"Please! Please! Let me go I promise not to say anything just please what about our son? What about Daniel? Think of Daniel John please."

"f**k that little turd. I never wanted him I just wanted you, but you betrayed me. He isn't even my son is he? You f*****g lied to me!".

"He is your son! I never slept with your brother he lied"

"Shut up with your lies!"

He stabs her with his pocket knife over and over again. I try to hold in my screams.

"Remember whatever you do you must stay in the closet. Never come out, I love you sweetheart"

He continues to stab her. The walls are covered in Blood.

"Look what you made me do! Look what you made me do!"

Putting his head in his hands he screams at my mom.

"Look what you made me do!"

I hate him, he always find ways to hurt me. Why he couldn't just leave us alone? Why did he always make mommy cry? He runs out the room and out the door. I open the closet door and climb in the bed next to my mom. She didn't move nor speak, her eyes wide open.

"Mom?"

No answer

"Mom?"

No answer

"Mommy wake up! Why want you wake up?!"

She lay there just looking up at the ceiling.

"You don't have to be afraid anymore. He is gone you can wake up now. You can wake up now please wake up!"

Silence fills the room, I lay next to her and lay on her chest.

"He can't hurt us anymore I promise to never leave you. I will always be with you just wake up"

* * * * *

"How long the kid was in there with the deceased?"

"About two weeks captin"

"God! Has the father been picked up yet?"

"yes captain he was picked up a hour ago he is down at the station as of now."

"How can someone do that to a person they claim to love and their kid? How many times was she stabbed?"

"The victim was stabbed 57 times"

"Damn, this job never gets any easier. Do the kid have any other relatives he can live with? I hate to put him in the system. It's hard finding foster parents willing to take in a 10yr. At his age good foster parents are hard to come by these days"

"No sir. He only had his mom and she has no known relatives at this time."

"What about the Father's side?"

"No one has come forward"

"where is the kid now?"

"In the ambulance getting check out. There is one other thing he seems to have bruises on his arms chests and back. They appear to be fresh"

"I see, let's go."

"Hey buddy don't worry you will be okay we will fine you a nice loving family soon, but for now I want you to go with this nice gentlemen so we can make sure your not hurt is that ok pal?"

"Yes"

"Alright, I will see you later so we can get Ice cream. Would you like that?"

"Sure"

"Good now let's go"

* * * * *

"Some days I look in the mirror and I can't recognize the person looking back at me. It hurts me to see who I became after all this time thinking I left my demons in the past. How can I come so far just to start all over again. I know we all have our fear here and mine might sound stupid but I fear being alone with no one to love me for who I really am."

"Daniel, that is not a stupid fear. Actually we have that same Fear. Everyone is afraid of being left out or alone in some way shape or form, but you have to understand that it's ok to have that and just keep saying to yourself I am stronger than my struggles I am stronger than my fears. I am who I am and I can't change that, but I will be better than who I was yesterday."

"well doc if it's that simple then why is it I still feel the same or worse. I repeat those things in my head each and every day but nothing changes I either feel worse or nothing at all. I feel like this thing inside me is eating me up you know until there is nothing left of me man. Until one day I wake up to a complete stranger in my body mind and soul.

I know we been talking about this for weeks now and it seem like each time I close my eyes I relieve that night my father killed my mother. How can I just move on from that?"

"You can't, but you can learn how to cope with it. That's why we have group so we all can be here supporting each other in our darkest moments"

"Maybe your right doc maybe your right".