Desperate Moves

2

2

I drifted out of consciousness again. I only came around again when I felt something cold on my chest. This time around, the voices I heard sounded more familiar. I heard a voice, which I assumed belonged to the doctor say

“Let’s keep waiting and hoping she regains consciousness.”

“For how much longer do we have to wait? It’s been almost two days already.” That sounded like Tosin’s voice.

Where exactly am I and why is my body so weak? I thought to myself. I again tried to open my eyes. This time around, I was able to, but the bright light made me squint and instantly shut my eyes again. I decided to try to move my body. Apparently, that wasn’t a very good idea as well because the moment I did that, the level of pain that rang through my body from my groin was massive and a little cry escaped from my lips. The voice hardly sounded like mine; it was coarse. All the occupants of the room were by my side in the next instant, if the movements around me were anything to go by.

“Edi, are you ok? Thank God you are finally awake. Do you need anything?” that was Cynthia rambling.

I wanted to smile but couldn’t. It just didn’t feel right. Probably if my brain did not feel so muddled up and if I was not in a strange place on a strange bed, feeling so much pain, I would have smiled. I worked up enough energy to open my eyes again and thank God, this time, the brightness was not so blinding. When I opened my eyes, I blinked a few times before they got accustomed to the new condition. The doctor was standing by the left side of the bed, looking down at me. Both Tosin and Cynthia were on the other side, also looking at me. I could see the pain in their eyes and I couldn’t help but feel guilty that they were like that because of me. I could swear I even saw tears in Tosin’s eyes. I kept wondering what happened, that would make the happy-go-lucky Tosin to be like this. Whatever happened must have been serious.

Then it all came back to me! There were two men in my room that night, one held me down, the other tore my nightie.... then came the stark realization! I willed myself not to remember any more of it. My temple was throbbing with immense pain. The tears came pouring like the floodgates were just thrown open. Sobs racked my body, from head to toe. Cynthia drew close, bent down and drew me into a hug, whispering soothing words to me. Tosin simply held my hands and seemed to have lost his voice. The doctor stood for a few more minutes, then decided to give us space.

“I’ll leave you alone for now but please, don’t stress her out. Allow her to rest soon.” The doctor said, and then made his exit.

All I heard was the voice in my head saying that I couldn’t continue living; I couldn’t possibly survive it: the pain, the emotional trauma, coupled with the stigma. How do I face the world again? My perfectly planned life-to finish school, publish my books, get married and give birth to amazing kids together with my loving husband and raise a beautiful home- has just come crumbling right at my feet.

“Edi... Edi...!”It was when Tosin called my name and gave me a gentle tap that I remembered they were still there.

“Edidiong, it will be alright. God knows why this had to happen.” That was Cynthia. I was looking at her but I don’t think I really understood a word of what she said. The only thought that filled my head was how to quickly end my traumatic life.