Desperate Moves

22

The beautiful lady we had met at the lab earlier soon passed by us, holding an analysis slip, which I assumed, was ours. She headed to Dr. Chuks’ office. A hint of sadness crossed my face momentarily, before I quickly put it away and decided to enjoy the moment. I turned back to Tosin.

“Continue deceiving yourself.” I was giving him a disdainful look.

“You are the only one saying I’m not a gentle man.” He was now making funny faces at me, which made me laugh.

Just then, there was a shrill sound like the ringing of a telephone. There was no telephone in sight. I have noticed that each doctor had a peculiar sound that signaled the nurses. So, as the sound started, one of the nurses dashed into Dr. Chuks’ office. She was back a few seconds later.

“Edidiong Rufus”

I indicated by raising my right hand and saying an inaudible “yes”.

She signaled me to go in to the Doctor’s office.

Cold sweat broke on my forehead as I stepped into the doctor’s office. This may be a life changing encounter for me. This was going to determine or better put it, seal my fate. The doctor looked up when I entered and I saw a sad hint in his eyes, then I knew...something was not right. He had the slip in his hand. He signaled me to sit on the same chair I had sat earlier. I was trembling all over as I sat nervously.

He cleared his throat loudly and then asked without any formalities “I have both good and bad news, which one first?”

I sat for a while trying to decide which one I wanted to hear first. Finally, I concluded that it was no big deal so I just said “Doctor, wherever you decide to start will be fine by me.”

“Why are you sitting like you are going to bolt through the door any minute?” he had a smile etched on his forehead, as well as a thin smile sprinkled on his countenance.

I didn’t even notice I was perching on my seat. I returned his smile and adjusted on the seat. My palms were sweating profusely, so I dug inside my bag and pulled out a handkerchief.

“Ok. The good news is that you turned out HIV negative. Then the bad news, actually, there are two of them. The first is that, you have gonorrhea and the second is that you are pregnant.” He was looking at me intensely as he said that.

His bluntness was unnerving. For a full thirty seconds, it felt like I didn’t understand what he was saying. His voice was a faint blur. I felt like he was saying something but I was far away.

The sound of his fist on the desk brought me back to the present. Then the tears came tumbling down. He patiently waited for me to calm down a little, before talking.

“I think you should be grateful that at least, your HIV test came out negative, although you will have to run the test again after three months for confirmation.”

That’s so comforting. So it was not even certain that I was HIV negative. I was glad I didn’t say that aloud.

“For the infection, I will place you on treatment immediately.” He tore a piece from the pad he had torn earlier and wrote on it. I sat staring into space as the tears kept rolling down my cheeks.

“Then let’s talk about the pregnancy.”

I wonder what is there to talk about. My life is doomed as it is.

“What do you want to do about it?” he asked in a concerned voice,

I just stared at him blankly. What was I supposed to do with it or about it? Do I go ahead and have the baby or do I abort it? Pictures of killing another human being flashed through my mind and I was not sure how I was going to live with the guilt of murder forever. On the other hand, if I decide to keep it, will I be able to raise a child singlehandedly? I have always dreamt of getting married and having children, four or five of them, but all those fantasies included a man; a loving, caring and understanding man.

“You can take your time to make your decision.” His voice disrupted my thought. “Whatever decision you take, kindly let me know so I can follow through with you. Is that ok?”

I nodded my head. My gaze fixed to the floor as my mind started wandering once again. I thought about my mum. She will be heartbroken when I tell her what has happened. My mind wandered to Sam. Now he has a good enough reason or should I say excuse, to bail out of the relationship. I lifted up my eyes to meet the doctor tapping away at the table. He handed me the prescription he had written out, when I finally paid him attention, then carefully folded the test result and also handed it to me.

As he stretched out the paper, he said comfortingly, “You come across to me as a strong lady and I believe you will pull through. Try and take things easy to avoid any form of complication. You can buy the drugs at the pharmacy or any pharmacy of your choice. Just make sure to start the treatment as soon as possible.

I nodded understanding once again and got up to go. As I got to the door, I remembered I have been carried away by my grief and had forgotten to thank the doctor, so I turned around and swallowed hard before saying “Thank you very much doctor.” My voice was hoarse.