The Mermaid in Me

Chapter 16 - What Do I Say

Oh No! Why did I do that?

I set myself up, along with Tasha.

I can’t show him my leg, my parents would kill me! I can’t answer that question! How do I escape this? I knew this question would come up, I just didn’t know it would be this soon. I shouldn't have opened my mouth! He is going to freak out if he sees it! I just can’t. Even if I’m not a mermaid. It does have scales...

If Tasha is telling the truth, it will go away when I turn 18. I want her to be right about that. I’m in way over my head. I have no idea who my real parents are, and now I have a boyfriend who is asking about those rumors. All because of my stupid mouth!

“Luke, I can’t say I do or don’t. I just have a birthmark. I promised my parents many years ago I wouldn’t show anyone. I never showed Tasha, she just believed the rumors, as did everyone else. It’s a stupid mark, that’s all. Please I know you want to know more about it and see it. But I just can't right now.”

He shouts at me. “Well, I guess I’m not that important! If you can’t just tell me the truth, so you obviously can’t trust me! I heard about the rumors and don’t CARE! You have it stuck in your head that I’m some monster! Even that punk Devin is more of a bully than I am! Isn’t he the one that saw your leg and started those rumors?”

I’m sit stunned, he just exploded on me. I’m so confused. This isn’t what I wanted for the evening. He doesn’t need to get that upset.

I can’t help but growl back at him. “That’s the point, everyone treats me so differently over a silly mark, that I was born with. Why does anyone need to see it? I’m done being a freak, and I do trust you, but this is my choice. I want to go home! This conversation is over with! I thought you would be the one, who stops pressuring me, I can see you are just like the rest.”

He stands up, leaning over me with a look I've never seen before. His eyes are black as he gets closer to me. I start to feel a knot in my stomach forming, my heart is racing, I feel like it’s about to explode.

He replies sharply back at me. “I am NOT like the rest, and you don’t see it. I have cared about you. You are so stubborn and silly. You will never make it without me by your side. I helped you out by giving you confidence. If you don’t want to share anything with me? What’s the point of us being together? You act like the victim to everything, and I’m trying to help but you won’t let me!”

I scream as loud as I can. “I just want to go home! I’ll walk myself!”

I jump up and run as fast as I can.

I don’t know why? But I just need to run from these feelings. He was so cold about it all, I can’t believe he said that to me. He might be right, but to say all that. How dare him? He has no idea what I deal with. I am not a victim. I don’t even know who I am or where I came from.

I love him, but why would he do this to me? He is supposed to be my safety.

I can hear his feet behind me, so I pick up my pace. I don’t want to look back. “Sandy! Stop! I didn’t mean it like that!”

I continue to run, not caring what he is saying. I need to be free from all this. I can hear his feet stop. I look back to see he isn’t following me anymore. He’s walking the other direction, back to his car. I slow down to a power walk. I can't listen to him or anyone. This is all too much for me. I need the night's air to clear my mind, maybe we do need a break if he believes all that. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I don't need him acting like that.

I walk up to my driveway, and he's is standing right in front of his car. Of course, he would be waiting. He just doesn't get the hint.

“Sandy! Please listen to me!” I put my hand up at him and walk inside.

I'll deal with him another time, I'm over it.

My parents are watching television on the couch. I interrupt them with the slam of the door.

I spout in anger mixed with fear. “Well, I think it’s time we found out who my parents are! I’m tired of not knowing who I am! I have this lame birthmark on my leg, and Luke just asked me if it had scales!”

I burst in tears, my Mom rushes over and right away, and comforts me with her arms. As I crumble to the floor.

“Oh, Sweetie! We will plan a trip to the west coast for winter vacation, and you can see everything. Your father and I will plan everything. I know this isn’t fair to you.”

I look up at her, as she is cradling me as if I was a child again. My safe place, the only place I have ever known. I feel relief.

My father interjects. “Did he pressure you into something I should know about? If he did, you better tell me!”

Of course, he would think I have normal issues.

I pull myself together in my mom’s arms. “No, he wanted to see that stupid birthmark that I can’t tell anyone about. Remember! Dad!” I lay my head back against my mom’s chest.

He grumbles back, “That one is up to you, I know you can make that choice on who you trust in seeing that. You are old enough now. That Tasha wants you to believe in some crazy mermaid story, and we all know it’s not true. You are not a mermaid. If you trust him, then show him. I don't see that boy changing his mind because of a birthmark. I think he’s been good for you. But don’t ever let him pressure you into getting into any bed with him! I’ll kill the boy!”

Did my father give me the ok to actually show Luke my patch? After all this time.

They really don’t believe in mermaids. Tasha isn’t crazy, this is all my fault. I should have told her after I found out, she would know what to do.

I get the strength to get up off my mom.

I cowardly say, “I think it’s time I go to bed. I didn’t show Luke my leg, and now I feel like even more of a fool. I am a freak. And I'm ashamed of myself either way.”

My dad pats me on my back before I get to the stairs, and he says. “I think you’ll be ok with that boy of yours. We love you Sandy, and so will he.”