Control or Destruction
1132 Words
I didn’t sleep after that.
Even when my body begged for rest… my mind refused.
Every time I closed my eyes, I felt it again that power, rising too fast, too wild. Like something inside me was trying to break free… and didn’t care what it destroyed in the process.
Including me.
A quiet knock came just before dawn.
“You’re awake,” his voice followed.
Of course he knew.
I let out a slow breath. “I don’t think I could sleep even if I tried.”
The door opened, and he stepped inside. As always, the air shifted with him subtle, but impossible to ignore.
His gaze moved over me, assessing.
Not gentle.
Not cruel.
Just… precise.
“Good,” he said. “Then we won’t waste time.”
I frowned slightly. “Doing what?”
“Training.”
The word landed heavier than expected.
“I can barely control my own breathing right now,” I said dryly. “And you want me to train?”
“I want you alive.”
That shut me up.
He stepped further into the room, his tone calm but unyielding.
“What happened last night was not an accident. It will happen again.”
A chill ran through me.
“And next time,” he added, “you might not be able to stop it.”
I swallowed.
“So what you’re going to teach me how?”
“Yes.”
Just like that.
Simple.
Final.
I studied him for a moment, searching for hesitation… doubt… anything.
There was none.
“You’re very confident,” I muttered.
“I’m very certain.”
That didn’t make me feel better.
The training grounds were quieter than before.
Empty.
That alone made my chest tighten.
“No audience?” I asked, glancing around.
“No distractions,” he corrected.
Of course.
I should have expected that.
He stopped a few steps ahead of me and turned, his gaze steady.
“Show me.”
I blinked.
“Show you what?”
“That power.”
I let out a small, humorless laugh.
“If I could just ‘show you,’ I wouldn’t have almost destroyed your room last night.”
“Try anyway.”
His tone didn’t change.
Didn’t soften.
Didn’t push.
It just… expected.
I hesitated.
Then slowly lifted my hand, staring at it like it belonged to someone else.
“Last time,” I said quietly, “it just… happened.”
“Then feel it.”
That was it.
No long explanation.
No guidance.
Just… feel it.
I closed my eyes.
At first nothing.
Just the sound of my own breathing… uneven, uncertain.
Then
A flicker.
Warm.
Faint.
“There,” he said.
My eyes snapped open.
“How did you”
“Focus.”
I clenched my jaw slightly but obeyed, forcing myself to reach for that feeling again.
The warmth returned.
Stronger this time.
It spread slowly through my chest, down my arms… into my fingertips.
My breath caught.
“I feel it…”
“Good.”
His voice remained calm, but his eyes sharpened slightly.
“Now hold it.”
That’s when everything went wrong.
The warmth surged.
Too fast.
Too strong.
My body tensed as the energy spiked, slipping past my control like water through my fingers.
“I can’t”
“Don’t fight it.”
“What?!”
“Guide it.”
My heart slammed against my ribs as the power pushed harder, rising beneath my skin like a storm.
“I don’t know how!”
“Then learn.”
That calm voice again.
Like this wasn’t chaos.
Like this wasn’t dangerous.
Like this was expected.
The energy pulsed
The ground beneath my feet cracked.
I gasped, stumbling back as panic surged.
“It’s too much!”
“Look at me.”
“I can’t”
“Look. At. Me.”
Something in his tone snapped through the panic.
Sharp.
Commanding.
My eyes locked onto his.
And just like that…
Everything slowed.
The power didn’t disappear.
It didn’t weaken.
But it… steadied.
“What…?” I breathed.
“Again,” he said quietly. “Don’t run from it.”
My chest rose and fell rapidly as I forced myself to stay still.
To feel it.
To not lose control.
The energy flickered again but this time, it didn’t explode.
It stayed.
Balanced on the edge.
“You see?” he said.
Barely a whisper.
“You’re not losing control.”
My hands trembled.
“Yes, I am”
“No.”
He stepped closer.
Too close.
“But you think you are. That’s the problem.”
His gaze didn’t leave mine.
“Power doesn’t destroy,” he continued calmly. “Fear does.”
My breath caught.
“Then what am I supposed to do?” I asked, my voice unsteady. “Just… trust it?”
“Trust yourself.”
That felt harder.
Much harder.
The energy pulsed again, softer this time.
Listening.
Waiting.
And for the first time…
It didn’t feel like something trying to break me.
It felt like something that belonged to me.
The realization hit deeper than I expected.
“I…” I hesitated. “I think I can hold it.”
“Do it.”
I inhaled slowly, focusing on that warmth.
Holding it.
Not forcing.
Not resisting.
Just… allowing.
Seconds passed.
Then
The energy faded.
Not violently.
Not suddenly.
Just… gone.
Like it had never been out of control in the first place.
Silence settled over the training ground.
I stared at my hands, my heart still racing.
“I did it…”
“You did.”
I looked up at him, something unfamiliar rising in my chest.
Not fear.
Not confusion.
Something steadier.
But it didn’t last.
Because his expression hadn’t changed.
At all.
“You’re not surprised,” I said slowly.
“I told you,” he replied. “You’re not what they think you are.”
My chest tightened slightly.
“Then what am I?”
A pause.
A brief one.
But I noticed it.
“You’ll find out,” he said.
That wasn’t an answer.
And he knew it.
Frustration flickered again but this time, it didn’t feel as strong.
Because something else had taken its place.
Determination.
“Then teach me everything,” I said quietly.
His gaze held mine for a moment longer.
Measuring.
Deciding.
Then
“Careful what you ask for.”
A chill ran down my spine.
“Why?”
For the first time…
Something shifted in his expression.
Not much.
Just enough.
“Because once you understand what you are…” he said softly, “…you won’t be able to go back.”
The words lingered long after he turned away.
And this time…
I didn’t feel weak.
I didn’t feel broken.
I felt
Dangerous.
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