Heart of The Trident

Nine ~ Nia

I pace the room, placing my hands over my ears to block off the voices outside.

Catherine’s. And Cade’s. Both filled with so much emotion.

But I can’t, so finally, I tiptoe to the door, opening it slightly and as silently as I can to take a peek outside.

“Nothing.” Cade shakes his head as he stands in the middle of the living room. “You know, Catherine, I think you should leave.”

“Oh, is that how this is going?” Catherine’s voice rises a notch as she points to the door. “You’re really just going to shove me out the door, shut me out and not tell me anything?”

“Catherine, I…”

Suddenly, he turns his head, stopping as our eyes meet. Catherine turns as well and I close the door, leaning on it.

Outside, I hear Cade exhale. “Catherine, just go, okay? Please?”

For a moment, I don’t hear anything but hammering heartbeats. Then I hear a rustle, footsteps leading to the door, then the door slamming, the sound so loud I have to cover my ears. After that, I hear another pair of footsteps going to the door but the door doesn’t open. Instead, the chain simply rattles as it slides into place, then the footsteps come in my direction.

“Nia?” Cade knocks on the door. “Can we talk?”

I take a deep breath. “Yeah. Sure.”

I open the door to let him in and sit on the edge of the bed, my hands folded between my thighs.

He stands in the doorway, hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry about that.”

I shake my head. “No. I’m sorry you had a fight with Catherine. She’s a really nice person.”

“I know.”

“You should go after her, tell her you’re sorry.”

“Nia…”

“No. You know what?” I stand up, heading to the door. “I should just leave.”

“What?”

“After all, since we met, I’ve caused you nothing but trouble.”

“That’s not true.” Cade grabs my arm.

I jerk mine away. “It is true. I’ve caused you trouble at work. I’ve caused you trouble here at home, making a mess and everything. I spent your money. And now, you and your best friend are fighting because of me.”

“It’s not because of you, Nia.”

“Plus, how can you ignore what happened today? All I did was sing and people started crying. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?” I place my hand over my heart as I remember the anguished faces of the people at the mall. “It made me feel like a monster. It made me feel like I was this terrible, terrible creature who was cursed and who was spreading that curse, like I was this disease…”

Cade pulls me into his arms. “Shh.”

I try to pull away. “I don’t belong here, Cade. I’m a walking misfortune. I…”

“Shh.” He squeezes me tighter. “That’s not true.”

“It is true. I’m a monster and…”

“Look at me, Nia.” Cade cups my face and looks into my eyes. “You’re not a monster.”

I shake my head, averting my gaze.

“Look at me,” he repeats more firmly. “You’re different, that’s true. But you know what? That only means you’re special.”

“I’m not special.”

“But you are.” Cade strokes my cheek. “You’re kind. You’re innocent and funny without trying to be…”

I frown. “Are you making fun of me?”

“And your curiosity is amazing.”

I place my hands on my hips. “You are making fun of me.”

“And you just have this childlike wonder and this strong spirit,” he goes on in a serious tone, his eyes brimming with so much warmth, pride and admiration that it makes my chest want to burst. “You have a good heart, Nia, and you’re not afraid to pour it out. That’s why when you sing, everyone can’t help but be moved.”

I purse my lips, my eyes darting to the ceiling.

“And you’re beautiful,” Cade continues in a whisper. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

The next thing I know, Cade’s lips fall on mine, wiping my lipstick off and stealing my breath away. At first, it feels strange, having his lips crush mine over and over while his hands are in my hair but after my eyelids fall shut, something happens.

My lips start to tingle. And it’s not just my lips. It’s like there’s this ripple spreading throughout my body, under my skin, cold at first so that it makes me shiver and then feel numb. But then the tide turns warm.

No. Hot.

When Cade’s tongue slips past my lips, everything just sizzles. My arms fall to my side, my strength melting away.

What is this feeling?

I press my lips against Cade’s, the tip of my tongue rubbing against his, but suddenly, he pulls away and steps back, a look of anguish on his face.

“Cade?” My emotions go into turmoil.

He doesn’t answer, turning his back to me and slapping his forehead.

I touch his shoulder. “Cade, what…?”

“Don’t touch me, Nia,” he tells me angrily. “Because I can’t…”

“I’m hurting you, too, aren’t I?” I ask him with a frown.

“What?” He glances at me over his shoulder. “No. That’s not…”

“Each time I open my mouth, I hurt someone.” I step back, my voice breaking. “Now, I’ve hurt you, too.”

“Nia, it’s not like that.”

“Don’t lie to me when you can barely look at me!” I shout at him, my hands shaking. “You’ve been so good to me. You took me in. You cared for me. And I’m grateful, which is why I can’t stay here with you. I can’t stay and risk hurting you. I’m leaving.”

I rush to the door, hastily removing the locks before running out.

“Nia!”

I hear Cade coming down the hall as I go down the stairs but he stops there. And the moment I don’t hear his footsteps, my heart sinks. The silence hits me like a thousand knives.

I guess I did want him to come after me. I guess I didn’t want to leave him. But it’s too late now.

I can’t stay with him.

Walking out of the building, I find myself caught in a downpour but I keep going, running even though I don’t really know where to go.

I don’t have anywhere to go.

So what difference does it make where I go if I don’t belong anywhere?

--

I end up at the marina, my dress drenched after the rain although my hair is already almost completely dry.

Standing on the wooden planks, I stare at the boats, some of them with their lights already turned on, the rest simply illuminated by the beams of the moon that has just started to peek out from behind the dark clouds. A few stars dot the patches of clear sky.

As a salty breeze blows, I close my eyes, letting it sweep through my hair and caress my cheeks.

Mmm. Amazing.

Just like that, the wind washes some of my worries and heartaches away, though some of them return as I gaze out at the ocean rising and falling beyond the rows of boats.

Oh, if only I could be there now.

I wrap my fingers around my necklace, gripping it tight.

Why? Why won’t the ocean take me? And if the ocean doesn’t take me and I can’t stay among humans, then where will I go? What will become of me? What’s the point of existing?

I stare at my wrist, remembering the scene from the movie Catherine and I watched where one of the girls slit her wrist and nearly died.

If I cut my wrist, will I die? Miss Ginny never told us how Xyraeans died. Then again, there was a lot she didn’t tell us, saying that we’d find all the answers we were seeking as soon as we reached the ocean.

I hold my wrist, feeling my pulse. If I die, what happens then?

A whistle breaks me out of my trance and I turn my head to see a group of four young men approaching, the stink of their breaths traveling ahead of them.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” The tallest of them rubs his chin. “Looks like someone got washed up here on the docks.”

“She looks lost,” another man says. “Maybe we should help her.”

“Maybe we should invite her to our party,” the one with the black hair says, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

I step back, a lump forming in my throat.

“Guys, you’re scaring her,” the one wearing the red shirt speaks. He steps forward. “Don’t be scared. We won’t bite.”

“Unless you want us to,” one of them adds.

They laugh.

I turn on my heel and run, obeying the voice inside my head telling me to do so. I must still be tired from running so much, though, because I can’t run fast enough and they catch me, one of them pinning my wrists behind me and the other holding my arm and my neck.

“Now, why did you have to do that, huh?” The one in the red shirt leans on his knees in front of me, panting. “We just wanted to have some fun.”

“Yeah. We were going to play nice,” the tall one says. “But I guess you don’t want that, huh?”

I struggle but it’s no use. The two men are holding me fast, their grips almost bruising. The other two stare at me, eyes traveling over my damp dress. One of them licks his lips and I suppress a shudder.

“Let me go,” I tell them.

“Oh, don’t worry, we will.” The man in the red shirt steps forward. “When we’re done with you, that is. When we’re all done with you.”

The men beside me snicker. My gut coils.

I struggle to pull my arms away again, glancing at the man holding my wrists captive. “Let me go this instant or…”

A hand grabs my chin, forcing it forward and then holding it in place as a pair of lips seal mine.

I nearly gag.

This is exactly what Cade did to me and yet, that didn’t feel revolting in the least, whereas this…

I cough as soon as his lips leave mine.

He laughs, his hand cupping one of my breasts and his thumb pressing against a n****e. My stomach churns.

“What are you going to do, huh?” he sneers.

I look away.

“Oh, what’s this?” His fingers wrap around the pendant of my necklace.

“No.” My eyes grow wide with panic. “Let it go.”

He strokes the shell. “It looks kind of pretty…and expensive. I think I like it.”

I narrow my eyes. “Don’t you dare…”

He gives a tug and the chain comes off my neck, pain searing my skin where it used to be. I dismiss that, though, more concerned with my necklace.

“Give that back!”

“Oh, you want it back, do you?” The man swings it in front of me. “And what will you do to get it back, hmm?”

I grit my teeth.

“If you don’t answer, I might just throw this away.” He walks closer to the edge of the docks.

My heart pounds. My anger brews inside me like a storm.

“I said give it back.”

He grins. “Why don’t you come and get it?”

My jaw clenches, my hands also clenching into fists behind me.

A bolt of lightning cracks the sky, a clap of thunder following.

The tall guy steps back, startled. The other looks unfazed.

That’s fine. I have a feeling he’s about to learn his lesson.

And I’m going to be the one to teach him.

As wind gushes through my hair, I take a gulp of it, holding it in my cheeks before opening my mouth again.

“I SAID GIVE IT BACK!”