Cruising for Love

Chapter 2

2

"It will be fine, Mother." My attempts to appease the clearly disapproving woman are not working. I hold my cell phone away from my ear and roll my eyes toward the ceiling as she continues to detail the potential pitfalls with my plan.

She sounds like a broken record. Even after I set my cell on the counter––without bothering to put it on speakerphone––I can hear key buzzwords. "Likely a scam...fall in the ocean...take advantage of you...contract terms...too naive for this Hollywood nonsense...steal your innocence."

I rub my temples in an attempt to stave off the impending migraine I can feel beginning to take root. As tempting as it is to hang up on my ever-negative parent, I know that somewhere deep down she does have my best interests at heart. Her intentions likely come from a place of love, but conversations with her are often one-sided and nearly always emotionally draining.

Deciding I've had enough of her lecturing and choosing to take the easy way out, I pick up the phone and use one hand to muffle its microphone while I use my other fist to pound a fake knock on my counter. "I think someone's at my door," I announce to her.

The "hmph" she responds with lets me know that she isn't buying my ruse for a second. Determining that I'm in too far to back out now and opting to see it through, I add, "Talk soon. Bye." I utter the words quickly and hang up without waiting for her response, then I toss the phone on the counter, wanting to distance myself from her contrary juju.

Almost immediately, the phone begins jingling with an incoming call. "Give me a break, Mother," I say to my empty kitchen before picking the phone back up with the intention of sending her straight to voicemail. To my surprise, the display shows a smiling picture of my sister, Roxy.

"Aloha!" I answer excitedly. Roxy recently relocated to Hawaii, which makes it so she and I don't get to talk nearly as often as we used to, or as often as we would like.

Chuckling at my greeting, she responds, "Aloha, to you too."

"How are you?" I ask her, even though I can already tell by her relaxed and cheerful tone that she is happy. Kai, her sexy and sweet Hawaiian husband, seems to truly be her other half.

"I've never been better," she confirms before asking about me. "What's new in your world? Any strange car accidents this week?"

"Why would you ask me that?" I respond as if I am offended.

"You do have a knack for finding odd things to collide your car into," she reminds me gently before adding, "It's never your fault, though."

"I'm glad you realize that." We both chuckle at my tendency to deny blame, even though I am the only common denominator in all of the fiascos that seem to constantly shadow me.

Turning serious, she asks me, "You doing okay?" Having discovered her happily ever after ending, my sister now worries that I won't find mine.

"Actually, yes, I'm doing great. I have big news." She remains silent, waiting for me to spill it, so I take a deep breath before forging ahead. "I'm going on a reality television show that is set on a cruise ship and will be streamed on the internet." The words spill out of my mouth quickly. I brace myself for her reaction. Roxy has always been the practical sister, and I anticipate that her response will be similar to our mother's.

"What?" she asks me, clearly stunned. Without giving me a chance to respond, she surprises me by adding, "Wow! That's fantastic."

I'm thrilled and shocked by her extremely positive reaction. It is so much better than I would have ever imagined. Staying quiet, I wait for her to process what I have told her and begin lecturing me.

Rather than judging my spontaneity or questioning my sanity as I had fully expected, she continues to sound thrilled about my announcement as she asks me to tell her all about it.

Cringing slightly, I say, "I've already told you pretty much everything I know about it. I fly down to Florida on Friday to start shooting," I add, giving her the only other detail I gathered before signing on the proverbial dotted line.

"What an adventure! You're going to become America's Sweetheart," she proclaims, making me wonder if Kai has given her some kind of personality transplant. My fuddy-duddy, responsible sister would normally be in line right behind our mother to tell me what a ridiculous and harebrained idea it is for me to agree to be on a reality television show without first going through the contract line-by-line with an attorney.

"Getting lei'd must be agreeing with you," I tease her with the double entendre, and she laughs so hard she actually snorts! I've never heard her be so carefree and giddily happy. It's sweet music to my ears.

Once our chuckling subsides, I tell her sincerely, "I'm so glad you found happiness."

"That's all I want for you," she responds, making me feel misty-eyed.

"Enough of this sappy stuff," I announce before adding, "Hang loose."

"You too. But not too loose," she adds as an afterthought, letting me know that the straight-laced sister I've always known and loved is still in there somewhere. Beaming from ear to ear, I press the button to end our call before heading to the hall closet to drag out my well-used burgundy suitcase. It's time to start packing for my adventure.