How does one love?

2 - Whispers in the dark

Ivy

I did't know how long I had been in the sweet embrace of the dark, but I didn't care, for in the dark there was no pain, no hideous scars and no t*****e. Of course the gods just could't let that be, they could let me have my death. No, apparently, I hadn't suffered enough at the hands of humanity.

Once more, pain vibrated through my body in endless waves of pure agony. My only relief was the strange sensation I had in my hands. The soft tingles and sparks echoed through me, slowly chasing away most of the pain. Perhaps the gods that had been finding joy in my suffering had finally decided I needed some form of relief, or maybe they were giving me hope simply so they could just rip it away from me again. Yeah, that sounded right.

"Please wake up," A male voice whispered to me, the tingles from my hands brushing against my cheek. "Please be okay," Thats it. I've officially gone crazy. My mind was so broken that I had begun to imagine someone whispering for me to awaken, for me to be okay.

"We aren't leaving you." Another male voice said. "We will be here when you wake up,"

"Our little angel," A third male voice whispered. What the hell! Why was I hearing three impossibly sexy voices, and why were they trying to comfort me? Maybe I was wrong. Had I died? Had I done it, had I lived through the endless pain people called life? Was I finally free? No. Don't get your hopes up, Ivy. You know this.

***

Once more, I emerged from the painless corners of my mind. The sparks and tingles were gone. The pain in my body was less than it had been in years. Perhaps peace takes a little time to happen once one dies. No. No hope, Ivy, you know how that ends. Right, let's end this facade.

With great pain and effort, I managed to open my eyes. Regret flooded through me. A loud insistent beeping sounded somewhere next to me, giving me an immediate headache. Bright light filled the room all too well, it hurt my eyes. I tried to move my hand up to block out some of the painfully bright light but my limbs felt too heavy, I couldn't move them. Shouts echoed around me, only adding to my headache. The lights in the room dimmed and three god-like men came into my view. As their hands touched my cheeks and held my own hands, the comforting sparks and tingles returned to me. Fear spiked within me but it was buried beneath so many other things, too many other focuses. My mind didn't truly recognize any of my emotions, let alone what should have been a crippling amount of fear. My vision kept blurring and clearing.

"Come on angel, stay awake." One of the men said, his hand brushing gently against my cheek. I couldn't help but lean into the touch of this stranger. It felt so incredibly right to have these three men touching me, even if it did cause me such a massive amount of fear. A cold hand pressed against my neck, then my wrist. It felt like this person's hand was gloved. This touch gave me no sparks, no tingles. I flinch everytime this unknown gloved hand touched me. I couldn't help it.

"Hello miss, can you hear me?" Another face came into my view. I couldn't make out their appearance, my vision was too blurred. I made a small humming noise to answer. "Okay, can I ask your name please miss," I didn't answer for a second. I needed time to let the blurry room stop spinning.

"Ivy," My voice was small, shaky and croaked from my throat. Just like everything else in my life, this hurt like a mother-f*****g b***h. The fourth man asked something else that I couldn't hear. My eyelids felt too heavy, and it was way too much effort to stay awake any longer.

***

I didn't come back to the waking world for a while. At least it felt like it had been a while, but I couldn't really tell. Nearly the whole time, those three aluring voices were whispering sweet nothings to me. The rest of the time was either filled with silence or what I assumed to be doctors. They were talking about brain damage, disability and the fact that they worried I wouldn't wake again. Why would anyone be worried about me? I couldn't fathom the thought that anyone would care about whether I lived or not. This was just my mind playing tricks, simply trying to keep me alive, to keep me fighting by showing me what I would never have. Taunting me with the possibility of love and care, or even just a single day without pain, or even should one dare, happiness. I, however, have lived a life deprived of any of these things. I know I will never get them. I will never be given the chance to experience life the way I want. I've come to uneasy terms with that. Maybe just maybe the gods will have mercy on me in my next life. Maybe I'm suffering now so that when the time comes I will be able to live a happy life, one completely different from my current one. Yes. I'm still on the rocks and these are my final moments. Soon I will be in a new, happier life filled with love. Please just let this end soon so that I may experience my wildest dreams and feel hope without fear and regret.

Till death do us part