The Giver's Gift

Chapter 4: The Kingdom First

Wednesday evening couldn't come fast enough for Grace. She found herself reading her Bible throughout the week, not hunting for verses about employment or financial breakthrough, but simply wanting to know more about this God whom Tshepiso served with such unwavering faith.

The Bible study met in a small room behind Brother Mthunzi's spaza shop in Alexandra township. When Grace arrived with Tshepiso, she was surprised to find about fifteen young people already seated in a circle, their Bibles open and notebooks ready. The age range seemed to be from late teens to early thirties—all of them carrying the look of people who had wrestled with life and found something worth holding onto.

"Welcome, sister Grace," said a warm voice from the corner. Grace turned to see an elderly woman, probably in her seventies, with silver hair wrapped in a colorful doek and eyes that seemed to hold decades of wisdom and joy. "I am Mama Stacy. Tshepiso has told me about you."

"Mama Stacy has been leading this group for five years," Tshepiso whispered as they found seats. "She's the one who taught me the difference between religion and relationship."

Mama Stacy opened the session with a prayer that immediately set Grace's heart at ease: "Father God, we don't come here tonight to impress You with our knowledge or to bargain with You for our wants. We come to know You better, to align our hearts with Yours, and to seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness. Open our hearts to receive Your Word tonight. In Jesus' name, Amen."

"Tonight," Mama Stacy began, settling into her chair with her well-worn Bible, "we're going to talk about what it really means to seek God's kingdom first. Who can tell me what Jesus said in Matthew 6:33?"

A young man named Sipho raised his hand. "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

"Good, my son. Now, before we dive deeper, I want each of you to be honest with me. When you first started praying seriously, what were you seeking first? Your kingdom or God's kingdom?"

The room fell silent. Grace felt her cheeks burn as she recognized the uncomfortable truth in the question.

Tshepiso was the first to speak. "I was seeking my kingdom, Mama. I thought if I could pray hard enough, fast long enough, God would fix all my problems and make my life comfortable."

"And what changed, my daughter?"

"I realized that seeking God's kingdom means I want His will to be done on earth—starting with my own heart. Even if His will includes suffering, I want to trust that His plans are always good."

Mama Stacy nodded approvingly. "This is wisdom, child. Grace, what about you? What brought you here tonight?"

Grace swallowed hard, feeling all eyes on her. "I... I think I've been trying to manipulate God. I thought being grateful for some things gave me the right to complain about others. I thought prayer was about getting God to see things my way."

"Ah," Mama Stacy smiled gently, "you are not alone in this, my daughter. Most of us start there. But let me ask you something more important: Are you saved? Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior?"

The question caught Grace off guard. She had grown up in church, been baptized as a child, knew all the right words. But as she sat there, she realized she had never truly surrendered her life to Christ—she had been negotiating with Him instead.

"I... I thought I was," Grace said quietly. "But listening to you and Tshepiso this week, I realize I've been treating Jesus like a cosmic butler rather than my Lord."

"Then tonight is the perfect night for a new beginning," Mama Stacy said warmly. "Who else here needs to make sure their foundation is solid? Remember what Jesus said in John 3:3: 'Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.'"

Three other young people, including a girl who looked barely eighteen, raised their hands tentatively.

"Beautiful. Let's talk about what it means to be born again, to truly enter God's kingdom." Mama Stacy opened her Bible to Romans 10:9-10. "These verses tell us: 'If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.'"

She looked around the circle, her eyes full of love. "But notice something important here. It says 'Jesus is Lord'—not 'Jesus is my helper' or 'Jesus is my problem-solver.' Lord means He is in charge. It means we surrender our will to His will."

A young woman named Nomsa spoke up: "But Mama, what if His will includes things we don't want? What if He asks us to stay in situations we want to escape?"

"Ah, my daughter, this is where faith comes in. Look at what Paul wrote in Romans 8:28: 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.'" Mama Stacy's voice grew stronger. "Notice it doesn't say all things ARE good—it says God WORKS all things for good. Even our pain, even our waiting, even our disappointments can be used by God for our good and His glory."

Grace felt tears starting to form. "So when I've been complaining about unemployment..."

"You've been telling God that you don't trust His timing or His plans for your life," Mama Stacy said gently but firmly. "You've been treating your temporary discomfort as more important than His eternal purposes."

The weight of this truth settled over Grace like a heavy blanket. She had been so focused on what she didn't have that she had missed what God might be doing in her through the waiting.

"Mama Stacy," Grace said, her voice trembling, "I want to do this right. I want to truly surrender my life to Jesus, not just use Him for what I can get."

"Then let's pray together, child. But first, let me share something important from Ephesians 2:8-9: 'For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.' Salvation is a gift, not something you earn through good behavior or perfect prayers."

Mama Stacy stood and invited Grace and the others who had raised their hands to come forward. "Let's pray together for new life in Christ."

As Grace knelt in that small room behind the spaza shop, surrounded by young people who had become family, she prayed with genuine surrender for the first time in her life:

"Jesus, I confess that I have been trying to be the lord of my own life. I have been using prayer to try to get my own way instead of seeking Your will. I believe that You died for my sins and rose again. I want to make You the true Lord of my life, not just my helper when I need something. I surrender my plans, my timeline, my desires to You. I want to seek Your kingdom first, even if it means walking through valleys I don't understand. Thank You for saving me by Your grace. In Your name, Amen."

When she opened her eyes, Grace felt something she had never experienced before—a deep peace that seemed to settle in her soul, regardless of her circumstances.

"Welcome to the kingdom, my daughter," Mama Stacy said, embracing her warmly. "Now your real education begins. From now on, every prayer, every decision, every response to difficulty should flow from one question: 'How can I seek God's kingdom first in this situation?'"

As the group prepared to close with worship, Mama Stacy opened to one more scripture: "Let me leave you with Jesus's own words from Matthew 6:25-26: 'Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?'"

She closed her Bible and looked around the circle. "When we truly seek His kingdom first, when we truly make Jesus our Lord, worry becomes impossible. Not because our circumstances change, but because our trust changes."

That night, as Grace walked home with Tshepiso, she felt like she was breathing different air. The questions that had tormented her for months—about God's fairness, about His timing, about whether He really cared—seemed to have dissolved in the light of a simple truth: God wasn't obligated to give her what she wanted, but He had promised to work all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

"Tshepiso," she said as they waited for their taxi, "I think I understand now what you meant about God's perfect timing."

"What do you mean, sister?"

"I don't think I was ready for a job eight months ago. I don't think I was ready for any of God's blessings because I would have taken credit for them. I needed to learn to seek His kingdom first."

Tshepiso smiled in the darkness. "And now?"

"Now I know that whatever He gives me, I'll receive it as a gift from His hand, not a reward for my good behavior. And whatever He withholds, I'll trust that He knows what's best."

As they climbed into the taxi, Grace silently repeated the prayer that had become her new heart's cry: "Your kingdom come, Your will be done, in my life as it is in heaven."

For the first time in her adult life, Grace wasn't praying to change God's mind about her circumstances. She was praying for God to change her heart about His will. And in that small shift, everything had changed.