Cover your crotch
2064 Words
A few months ago, portals had ripped across three different parts of a city, from the portals emerged hideous creatures. A private eye, a female cyborg, a mage, some lycanthropes, a few vampires and a midget who calls himself the protector of the universe managed to repel the creatures from hurting any civilian. They managed to also stop the portals from appearing but they couldn't defeat all the creatures simultaneously. Fortunately, for the last four months, they had been tracking down those creatures and eliminating them. It only remained one spot where the creatures were thriving, the private investigator and the android were presently investigating the area.
"How are things going with you and Tommy Boy" d**k asks with a mild grin. He was looking at a tall blonde woman, they appeared to be walking in a sewer, it was obvious cause of the terrible smell and the filth they were walking on.
Lefinna gives a mild smile, red flashes all over her cheeks.
"It's going great, yesterday, we went on a vacation to Miami, the scenery was simply beautiful."
"Really, I don't think Tommy would be too excited with you, I mean, you don't posses a honeypot" d**k grins.
Lefinna gives him a cruel look, she connects her fist to d**k's crotch.
"Ouch, that hurts, but at least I got it" d**k smiles.
Lefinna was about to throw another punch at d**k when a deafening sound was heard, it appeared to be coming towards their direction.
"Sounds like we got company" d**k says pulling out a golden shotgun from his jacket.
"You are a real d**k" Lefinna says pulling out a sword from her back, it was glowing bluish-white.
A cluster of spiders about six feet tall scrambled out of a corner, they were about twenty in number.
"C.mon, don't be pissed at me" d**k says as he leap towards a spider, he lifts the creature of the ground with his left arm, with his other arm, he fires into the humongous insect.
"Most of your jokes are inappropriate, they don't make people laugh, only piss them off" Lefinna growls as she cuts a spider into two, she dashes from the spot, sliding down in the disgusting puddle of sewage, she slits the bellies of the giant creatures.
"You only say that cause you are the butt of the joke, no one likes to be the butt of the joke so I totally understand your pain" d**k grins as he plunges his hands inside a spider's head, he removes it, the skin around his arm had melted away. Pointing his weapon behind his head, he fires off into a spider that was about to leap at him.
"Speaking about butt, you got lovely raw material, hope you got an asshole in there too" d**k grins.
Lefinna gives d**k a cruel look, she dashes towards him, d**k tries to stand his ground but he was hit with such overwhelming force he got knocked off the ground, his weapon drops to the ground.
"Come on, Leffy, you know I am now immune to your mind tricks, you ain't winning this round, love" d**k says getting up to his feet.
Lefinna gives a mild smile, she bent her head as if trying to avoid something, a green liquid appeared behind her, it splashed all over d**k's crotch.
"AAARGH" d**k cries in pain as he watches organ melts.
"You aren't the only one with a mind here" Lefinna grins at him.
Dick looked at her, he was obviously in pains as he looked like he wanted to take a crap, he covered his crotch.
"By the way, I don't have any mechanical parts, just nanites in my blood and organs so I posses every necessary human organ" Lefinna says holding out a hand to him.
Dick grabs on to it, getting up to his feet
"You could have just said that."
"Yeah but I wouldn't be able to do this" Lefinna smiles.
"What do you mean" d**k says struggling to get to his feet.
"This" Lefinna says as she sends her right leg flying in the air, it connects in between d**k's legs. d**k slumps to the ground, his face twisting in pain.
"I have got kids to father, you know" d**k says, he looked like he wanted to cry.
"Don't be such a baby, you posses the ability to heal" Lefinna says, she was smiling heartily.
Dick struggles to get to his feet.
"By the way, this balls are getting married to Sarah on saturday, and I wanna give her fresh."
"Nothing about that is fresh, the holes it has been to is more than the holes on a human's body" Lefinna grins.
"For a guy, that is a compliment, you know. It shows my manliness" d**k smiles as he gets to his feet.
"We will discuss about that later, let's finish this group of mod-arachne so we can get back home."
"Mod-arachne, what are those things" d**k asks with a puzzled look on his face.
"The creatures we are in combat with, it's what it was called in ancient times" Lefinna replies.
"They really sucked at naming then, I mean a god giving himself the name Larry" d**k laughs a bit.
"It's Larias" Lefinna shoots d**k a scowl.
"It's still the same thi....." d**k couldn't finish his sentence as a mod-arachne which was overhead leaps on him. Two more jump down from the ceiling, they wrap d**k in spider webs.
"A little help here" d**k tries to mumble out.
"I wanna watch this" Lefinna answers smiling.
Soon the group of mod-arachne wrapped d**k all over in cobwebs, two of them gathered at d**k's side while the last one of them points it's lower body at d**k.
"I am pretty sure that one is a female" Lefinna smiles.
Dick's face had fear and dread written all over, he tried to cut off the webs from his body but he was too late as the mod-arachne shoots green liquid all over his face.
Dick screams in agony as his face burns off, driven by rage, d**k rips out the webs holding his body captive, he gets to his feet and plunges his two arms into the upper body of two of the mod-arachne. The two creatures slumps back slowly, d**k leaps at them and tears them into bits. He looks over at the one who got green liquid all over his face.
The mod-arachne sensing it was in grave danger tried to leave but d**k enraged dashed towards him, grabbing it by one of his hind-limbs, he lifts it over the ground and began to hit it on different sides of the ground ferociously, the body peels off and parts of the mod-arachne was meshed all over the ground.
The remaining mod-arachnes on the ceiling tried to scramble off but d**k with overwhelming speed dashes towards them, he began to rip them out like they were puny insects. When he had destroyed a great number of the creatures, the remaining dashed towards him, about six in number. d**k's face shows a huge grin, his body had completely healed from the burns.
"The same mistake y'all made with the olympian gods, you making a worse one now" d**k grins as he dashes towards the incoming creatures.
On cue, the creatures turned their lower bodies towards d**k, green liquid emerges, spread in the air, d**k manages to evade it just in time, a mild grin creeps on his face, he stretches out his right arm, he was holding Lefinna's sword. With unbelievable speed, he dashes past the mod-arachnes. d**k grins, the heads of the creatures fall of their bodies as if on cue, d**k turns towards Lefinna.
"Bet you didn't notice" d**k says holding up her sword.
Lefinna gives a mild grin, clearly, she was impressed.
"Is that the last of this creatures" d**k asks showing a mild smile.
"Supposedly but I am picking a strong heat signature even higher than the mod-arachne" Lefinna says picking up d**k's weapon from the ground.
"I am sure it is nothing serious, bet we can kill it in seconds" d**k says with a mild smile.
A large tentacle curls all over Lefinna's right leg, it grabs her and moves deeper into the sewer. The gun drops to the grounds as she was whisked away by an overwhelming force.
"What is that" d**k says as he gets his weapon from the ground, he tucks it into his jacket, holding the sword in his right arm, he runs towards the direction he saw the tentacle drag Lefinna into, a tentacle curls around his leg, with superhuman reflexes, d**k slashes the it off his legs.
"I am making sushi for dinner and I got all the materials here" d**k smiles.
Another tentacle arm curls into a fist, it connects in between d**k's legs. The weapon fall from d**k's hands
"Oooouch" d**k cries in pain
"What is with y'all with my crotch."
The tentacle arm grabs d**k right leg, it lifts him from the ground, and throws him back to the ground, d**k tries to get up but two more tentacle arms emerge and wrap themselves around him.
"You are supposed to be dinner not me" d**k says as he struggles against the pressure on his body.
A small creature appeared, it was a mod-arachne, but instead of limbs, it had tentacles, Lefinna was riding on it as it was her pet.
"And they call me a d**k" d**k says as the tentacles loosen around his body.
"You can't blame people for calling them by your true name" Lefinna smirks at him.
"Ahahahha" d**k gives a sarcastic laughter.
"Don't hate on my ability to control minds" Lefinna grins.
Dick drops to the ground, looking in the creature's direction, he silently picks up the blade from the ground.
"He is gonna be dinner, I am starving, I could eat him whole" d**k grins holding his tummy.
"We ain't cooking Colby" Lefinna says getting down from the creature.
"Neither is he gonna be your new pet" d**k says as he leaps towards the creature, he shreds it into bits with overwhelming speed.
"You are beginning to get on my nerves" Lefinna says, red flashing all over her cheeks, she was angry.
"I can't have something from the sewers as a pet, who knows where I has been"
A scurrying sound was heard, d**k turns towards the direction he was hearing the sound from, rats appeared and dashed towards them, they appeared to be running away from something.
Dick and Lefinna leap from the ground.
"I reckon these guys are running from the creature you sensed a strong heat signature from" d**k thinks, he was communicating telepathically with Lefinna.
"Yes, you are wise for keeping to this kind of communication, it's best we give whatever this is a surprise attack."
"I have got a plan, I will be the distraction, you are the main event" d**k ends as he gets to the ground.
He leaps towards the direction the rats were coming from. Soon he sees a man, he was dressed in a blue tight attire which was strangely designed , his whole body was covered with the blue clothing, d**k could tell he was a guy as he had no curves against his tight clothing.
"Guess I am not the only one who wanted to take a swim in this fine waters" d**k says as he removes the golden weapon from his clothing.
"I see you found the gift I left for you four taps ago" The man in blue answers, the way he answered was strange, he didn't mouth out words, it was like he was communicating telepathically.
"This is unusual" d**k says as he points his gun towards the man in blue, he fires off but the man walks towards d**k, the bullets hitting him falls to the ground, they definitely had no effect on him, soon he approached d**k, he was only a few inches from d**k's position.
"I see you have taken care of Larias minions, your journey is only beginning, what you have faced in the past is so minimal to what you will encounter soon, you are being watched" He ends as he disappears from sight.
Lefinna lands close to him.
"Who is that" she asks.
"I don't know" d**k says putting on a stern look.
"But we are gonna find out."
- Writer
