Inner Witch

Chapter 3: Funeral

Tamara’s POV

2 months ago.

I work as a risk management analyst for a small company. I was almost done with my work when I received a call from an unknown number. I ignored it instantly, but the phone kept ringing.

-You should answer that, maybe it is important.- My boss said.

I usually don't answer unknown numbers. I always feel uncomfortable when talking to strangers. Social skills are not my thing, but I decided to go out on the terrace and call the number that by now had 6 missed calls in less than an hour.

-Hi, I have some missed calls from this number - I said.

-Hi, is this Miss Tamara speaking? - A man 's voice asks.

-Yes.

- I am Mister Johnson, your grandmother's lawyer. I am calling you to give you some bad news.- I frown and suddenly the air feels cold and a chill runs down my back. - Your grandmother, Louisa Miller, passed away last night. She had been ill for a couple of weeks now, and had a heart attack. She wasn't able to come back after that.

His words seemed unreal, but my feelings betrayed me a little and I hold my tears, trying really hard to pretend that I am unaffected by this news, afraid that some of my coworkers would look at me and ask questions. I go further into the bushes that are close to the end of the terrace.

-Thank you for calling me.- I paused for some time, trying not to sob. - Can I come to her funeral? - I do not know why I asked that or why I felt the need to go.

- Yes, It will be tomorrow at her house. Do you need the address?

-No, I know where it is. Thank you.

I ended the call with nothing more to say. I started to pant, trying to control my feelings, but I was unsuccessful. Why am I crying? I was left alone by her years ago. She did not even contact me directly when my parents died and then just came to give me a piece of her mind and now I am crying?

I try to steady my breathing and repeat again and again that I don't care about her. My hands are shaking and my heart hurts. Sitting down on a bench trying not to remember the time I spent with her when I was a kid. trying not to remember when she loved me, cared about me and taught me everything about that vineyard of hers. It was her passion, not that the place left her good money. I am sure that was one of her less profitable businesses, but the love she had for the place and people was clear.

But the feeling of abandonment was there. I was now alone in this world with no parents, no family… no one. Without knowing, I realized I never felt truly alone because she was there, her image, her presence was there. Knowing she was alive and that maybe, just maybe if I ever needed her she would receive me, but now… she was gone.

After a couple of minutes, I decided to leave work, telling my boss that I was going to take some days off since something personal happened.

He did not say much, knowing that I would probably not confide in him. He just let me be. I had plenty of vacations so there was no problem. I went home and when I entered, my roomier cheerfully greeted me without knowing the pain I was feeling. I ignored her, going straight to my room. There I grabbed a pillow and shouted at it, trying to release some of my feelings, and spent the night crying silently, feeling lonely.

When the sun touched my skin I was already awake. Actually, I never fell asleep, but stopped crying long ago even if the pain was there. I took a shower and prepared myself to go to the funeral, maybe to say goodbye in some way. I was about to leave when I heard my roomie's voice.

-Hey, Tammy. Is everything OK? You seemed off last night - I turned around and she was eyeing my black clothes.

-Yeah, I am fine, I am just leaving for someone's funeral. - I told her quickly and left. I didn't want her pity, so I didn’t want to provide much detail and I do not like to give much detail about my personal life.

When I arrived at my grandmother's house, a lot of people were already there. I entered and recognized some of them. They eyed me with shocked. When I entered another room I saw my father's sisters and closest family, except for Jules and my half siblings. People there looked at me out of the corner of their eyes and secreted between themselves, not even trying to be discreet. I forgot how insolent they could be. I kept walking to where the coffin was, and there the devil was in all black and crying eyes. Jules looked at me and stopped crying immediately, so quickly, as if her tears were fake, her face turned to anger and stood up, letting the chair fall to the floor.

-What do you think you are doing here? - she shouted at me.

I ignored her and kept walking to my grandmother's coffin, but John grabbed my arm and pushed me out of the room, Annie following him close behind as always. I felt a pang in my heart not being able to say goodbye to my grandmother.

-Leave Tamara, this place is not for you. - John said to my ear, not wanting to grab much attention from everyone, but to this point it did not matter since he dragged me there by the arm and all eyes were on us.

-Not here John.- Annie stopped him from grabbing my arm.-Tammy, honey, this place is kind of private. I know that you wanted to give your respect to us, but maybe another time.- she said while she grabbed my hand and guided me to the exit. - I will accompany you outside, OK?

I took her hand off me, while I turned to the room where my grandmother's coffin was.

-I did not come here for you, I came here for myself.

Annie's face contorted with my words, and when she was about to talk, another voice was heard.

-Tamara Vargas, good to see you here. - I looked at the man talking, trying to recognize him from when I stayed with my grandmother, but no one came to my mind. He was a tall man, with a gentle voice and quite old. His voice was familiar. - I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Carl Johnson, we talked yesterday.

-You told her?- said John, very annoyed with his actions.

Mister Johnson ignored him and came close to me. He must hold some power in the family since he does not care about John's murderous look.

-Come on. You should be inside with her.

He guided me back, ignoring the previous situation. When we entered, I could feel the nasty eyes on me, but no one dared to say anything since I was accompanied by this man. I tried to ignore them all, walking slowly to the coffin. Suddenly, everything turned black, images of my grandmother came to me. That old lady, so beautiful, always straight, with long white hair. Her smile warmed your heart, but she hardly did it. “Smiles are for the weak ones that have to be nice”, she always said. She was caring and protected her family, she used to do my hair, and taught me how to be strong. She practically prepared me for her abandonment.

When I was in front of her, I took a look at her face. She looked older, but as always very classy, she looked sad too. I wondered how her last years were. Was she happy? Or did she have a difficult time? I hope she did not suffer much.

Suddenly, reality came to me. I heard people talk about me, “Insolent”, “How dare she?”, “she is not family”, “Disgrace”, “Louisa would die again if she saw her here”. I remembered how Millers are… arrogant, hypocrites, always with those eyes on you, they think that you do not deserve their presence. My grandmother was also like that, she showed me when my parents died.

I sat next to Mister Johnson, and stayed for a while there trying not to be affected by all that energy, but it was too much, it was sickening me. I stood up and ended eye to eye with Jules. I held her gaze, not showing an ounce of pain, or any feeling that she could use against me.

-You should leave, girl. - She spat her words with venom. - this is not your family, you are not a Miller.

-I am more of a Miller than you are. - I answered, tired of the power she thinks she has. - remember that you are my fathers ex wife, you should have changed your last name long ago.- I heard everyone's gasp and walked outside of that place with a triumphant smile and walking tall.

I was tired of the Millers' attitude and decided to leave that f*****g place. When I was outside, I took a deep breath and finally decided to look at my arm. John left a mark there, he really wanted to hurt me.

-Tamara, wait. - Mister Johnson came to me. - We are going to read your grandmother's will in a couple of weeks. I will call you and send you the date and address. You have to be there.

I nodded and left the place.