Inner Witch

Chapter 6: No love

Monicas POV

23 years ago

I have been working for an energy company called ENMiller. Whoever came with that name had no imagination. I have been working here for a couple of years. At first it was a part time job until I finished school, but I decided to quit my studies and work full time. I needed the money since I lived alone in the US, my mother and aunties stayed in Mexico and I was the only one to come here. We were going through difficult times there and my mom and I decided that I was going to try some luck here and maybe they would come. 5 years have passed and they never did. Mom always finds an excuse not to. In order to stop being a burden to my family, I started working as an assistant but recently I was promoted to the head secretaries. I take pride in my hard work and dedication.

The last couple of days, we have been in meetings assigning which secretary is assigned to which director. Apparently, everyone is scared of the risk director, they say that he is horrible, a handsome irritable monster, no one wants to work with him, they are too scared and he always fires his secretaries. No one wants to take the chance and I volunteer myself, hoping I don't get fired in the process, but excited about the challenge.

The next morning, I arrive at his office, feeling confident I am wearing a nice black dress and small heels, with red lips. If you ever want to feel confident and capable, always use red lipstick, at least that's what my mother says and somehow I always feel better when I use it. I read the name on the door frame “Tom Miller” hmmm Miller? Is he the owner's son or something? I try not to think much about it and knock on the door before getting inside.

-Hello, my name is Monica Vargas, I will be your new secretary.

The man is looking at some files and, without giving me a look, he answers.

-Could you bring me some coffee? And take these papers to the finance team.

I frown at his first words took the papers from his hand and serve him some coffee. I got out of there as fast as I can, well he sure is a douche…

The first two weeks were hell. Every day he got mad about any minor inconvenience, some papers were not in order, his coffee was not good, someone did not answer him, he basically just looked for an excuse to get mad and shout at me until he got tired.

It was almost 7 pm and he had been complaining about some papers that the finance team didn't give him. Apparently, I was responsible for getting it delivered on time. I was just reaching my limit so I tried to stop this nonsense.

- I can sense your frustration, so maybe we should take some time to calm down and we can talk again tomorrow.- I regretted my words after looking at how his face contorted with anger.

-You do not get it, right!? You have been messing up every task I do every day! You do nothing right! Are you sure you are qualified for this work? - He pushed my buttons again, but questioning my ability made me lose it.

-I can see that you are not capable of calming down. Maybe you should fire me. That way you will get another secretary that probably will last another two weeks until you fire her too and I will be free from listening to your rambling on a Friday night.. - I looked at him seriously

And after what seemed like an eternity of a staring contest, he exhaled loudly.

-Get out, just get out.

I took my leave and went straight home for a long weekend, trying to forget his words and hoping silently that I was not really fired.

3 months later

-So, how was work? - asked Carmen, my coworker.

-It has been fine. After that fight nothing else happened. We never talked about it but it was like a silent deal, you know? I work hard, he stops shouting and he finally sees how effective I am at work when he is not making my life a living hell. - I answered while I ate my lunch.

-That is good to hear, you are the first secretary that lasted this long with him.

-Maybe he just needed to give someone a chance for more than a couple of weeks.

-Maybe, but you are different you know… -I give her a questioning look, trying not to laugh about the comment. - I mean, you take s**t from no one. Not even from your boss. The other girls usually showed submission when they saw him because he was handsome and everything. Probably they thought that by showing how cute they were he would notice them and, you know, fall in love or whatever. - She laughs loudly.

-He is married. - I said in a matter of fact tone

-Really? That is ironic.

-Why?

-He does not act like a married man, he works +10 hours a day, never says anything about his family and he does not use a ring. By the way, how did you know?

-He made me send her some flowers for her birthday last month, and they had a fight because of it. I guess he is not a good husband. - I chuckle.

After lunch break, I returned to my desk, hoping to get there before Mister Miller and prepare the papers he needed for his afternoon meeting. I prepared everything on his desk and realized his coffee was intact… I still can not get his coffee right. I exhaled, that is the one thing that I still can not get right.

One year later

Toms POV

I arrived for work early, not wanting to stay too much time at the house. When I got into my office I found some papers on my desk with notes, probably miss Vargas left them there. She is good at her work and has made mine easier. We had a rough start but I was surprised with the fire she had inside her. I do not know much about her, just that she is young and dedicated. A lot of men always talk about her. I am not surprised since she is beautiful, she has big brown eyes, long curly hair and tan skin. I think that she is not from here. The only bad thing about her is her coffee. It tastes more like water with sugar.

She comes to my office to announce someone.

-Sir, your wife is here.

Damn it, why is she here? I have made it very clear that she should not come here to look for me. Without another minute to waste, Jules comes in, almost pushing past Miss Vargas and rolls her eyes at her presence, making her leave with a poker face, that woman takes s**t from no one.

-I have told you not to come here.

-Why is she still working here? - She is annoyed that Miss Vargas has been here for a year or so, making her jealous. I will not lie, I think she is beautiful and, damn, I feel attracted to her, but I would never say it out loud.

-She is good at her work.

-I told you I did not want her here! - Here she comes again.

Honestly, it doesn't matter who works for me, Jules always feels threatened by others' presence, even if she tries to hide it behind that bitchy face and little princess attitude, she is very insecure, probably because of our past. Not that I care, but I guess it doesn’t help that we married young and it was arranged by our parents, we had kids as it was expected and now… well, there is not much to do or talk about between us except for things about the kids. So it would be an understatement to say that I am not fond of her, not in a loving way, but I tolerate her… kind of. I would have divorced long ago if my family was not against it. “We are not that type of people” my mother always says when I bring the subject to her… tsk is worse to live like this than to just get it over with.

Jules keeps rambling for some minutes while I keep working and after getting tired she leaves. Leaving me finally alone to concentrate, after some hours I see Miss Vargas come in.

-Sir, it is time for lunch. - She always reminds me to eat, especially when I am consumed with work. - Do you want me to bring you something?

-No, I think that today I will go to the dining room with everyone. - I almost missed her shocked face. I guess that this will be the first time I go there. - Do not look too surprised, Miss Vargas, it is kind of disrespectful.

-Sorry sir. - We walk together there and take our trays and fill them with food. We sat down at a table alone. To be honest, I did not think this, though I probably isolated her from her friends. Still, she stayed with me and ate while we talked about nothing in particular.

The day passed faster than I realized and when I looked at the clock it was past 9 pm… I should go to the house. Resigned with my situation, I took my leave and arrived at the house in 30 minutes. My kids were still up and came running to me when I opened the door.

-Hello champ - I greeted my son, caressing his hair and patting his back while my little princess pulled me down to have my attention. - Hello princess, how was your day?

-It was fine daddy, but mommy was grumpy all day. - My daughter answered. I frowned and looked at my son for some confirmation. He avoided eye contact with me. He probably did not want to cause any trouble.

-It is okay, baby girl, she probably had a busy day, that is all.

We played together for some time and I tucked them into bed. I decided to go to the guest room, where I have been staying for some time. I even moved my things there.

-Are you not going to stay with me? - Jules asked from the end of the hall.

-I thought that you were asleep and did not want to wake you up. - I lied.

-Do not lie to me!

We stayed in silence. Finally, I turned to look at her. She had puffy eyes, probably from crying all afternoon, her arms crossed and her makeup was a mess. God, why is this so difficult?

-Why do you keep avoiding me? Don't you love? - No… I answered in my head.- Or our kids? You are always so distant from me and I try to do everything for you!

I am not sure what to tell her. I love my kids, but not her.

-You know my answers to all that…

-But we were childhood friends! You should love me, I gave you kids! Why do you have to be this monster without feelings! - I am getting annoyed with her speech, it's not the first time I hear those words, and also if she keeps shouting she will wake up the kids. -Why do you do this to me?! - she comes running to me and starts to push me. - Do you have an affair? with that little b***h of your secretary? huh?! How many times have you been sleeping with other women? Huh? You traitor! I hate you! I f*****g hate you!

I got tired of all this and my anger started to get the best of me.

-Calm down, you will wake up the kids. - not my best come back to be honest.

-The kids? Oh, so now you give a damn about the kids! I do not care about the kids! - She kept shouting at no one in particular and walks wildly around the room throwing things in her path

-Enough! -my voice booms in the room, making her stop in her tracks. I exhale and say the only thing that I have been thinking when this fight comes - We should get a divorce Jules… this is not working.

-Divorce, you say? Are you out of your mind? That is not a thing we do.

-Then what is what you want? - I ask, getting frustrated with everything- Our kids should grow up in a healthy house, not this! We do not love each other and we never did!

-I did… - She interrupted me, I felt pity for her… but I do not think that she felt love… maybe she was infatuated but not love.

-This was an arranged marriage, Jules, and if I could I would never have done it. I am sorry because I hurt you… but this is not what I wanted.

Suddenly, her eyes turn to ice and she steps back.

-This is not over, Tom, I promise you that this is just the beginning of our lives. And YOU just chose the wrong woman to mess with.

- Never tried to hurt you, what do you want from me? to lie to you? To go to bed with you and tell you that I love you even if I don't? Is that what you want? I have never lied to you in our years of marriage and I know I have not been the most loving man, but I respected and cared for you! Just like your father asked us!

-Do not bring my father into this! You will regret everything! I promise you, Tom, that you will regret everything you have done to me! - I get tired of her being the victim here.

-I haven't done anything to you! Do not act like you are a saint. You knew back then that I did not want to get married to you and still you asked our parents to engage us! - She has a shocked face, probably realizing for the first time that I knew what she did behind my back - and then you came crying to me saying that you tried to avoid it but I always knew what you did! Did you think that I was that stupid just because I was younger than you? Or maybe your family wanted to take advantage of everything since your situation was about to go downhill with those debts! - She slapped me hard, making me stop all my angry words. She walked away calmly and I knew that this was just about to get worse.

It was not the first time that we had fought, but it was the first time that I said the truth about my feelings. Fortunately, I have a lot of work to drown myself in and avoid whatever this is.