Before It Changed
482 Words
School, at first, was easy.
Not easy in the way people say it when they don’t care…
but the kind of easy where things just made sense.
I understood what I was taught.
I answered questions without thinking too hard.
Tests didn’t feel like pressure—they felt normal.
Sometimes, even boring.
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I had good grades.
Not perfect, but good enough for people to notice.
Teachers liked that. They always do.
And for a while, everything just… worked.
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It wasn’t only about school.
There was time to play.
Time to laugh.
Time to be like everyone else without thinking too much about it.
Back then, I wasn’t always in my head.
I could just exist in the moment.
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But even then…
I was still watching.
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It showed in small ways.
While others argued, I noticed why.
While they laughed, I noticed who wasn’t.
While things were happening, I was already trying to understand them.
I didn’t think of it as anything special.
It was just how I saw things.
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Looking back, I think that was the balance.
I was part of things…
but not fully inside them.
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And maybe that’s why those moments felt lighter.
Because I hadn’t started overthinking everything yet.
I hadn’t started questioning myself
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Things were simple.
Too simple.
At least, that’s what I thought.
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By my final year in middle school, I had already started noticing more than I used to.
Not just small things anymore… but intentions.
The way people acted when they wanted something.
The way they moved when they thought no one was paying attention.
Most people didn’t notice it.
But I did.
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It wasn’t anything serious at first.
Just small situations. Small moments that didn’t seem important.
Until they were.
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There were a few classmates.
The kind that smiled when everything was fine…
but moved differently when it wasn’t.
I didn’t confront them.
I didn’t need to.
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I just watched.
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Patterns started forming without me trying.
Who they talked to.
When they talked.
What they avoided saying.
It didn’t take effort.
It just… made sense.
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And before anything could really happen—
I stepped out of it.
Quietly.
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No arguments.
No drama.
No explanation.
Just distance.
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Later, I heard things.
Small comments.
Confusion.
Like something they planned didn’t go the way they expected.
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I didn’t react.
I didn’t feel the need to.
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Because for the first time, I realized something…
I could see things before they happened.
And I didn’t even have to think that hard about it.
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At the time, it felt like an advantage.
Like I was ahead without trying.
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I didn’t know then…
That understanding people that easily would come with its own problems.
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And not long after that—
I stepped into a place where things weren’t so simple anymore.
- Writer
