Poetry & Thoughts

Part 3

BREAKING POINT

We all reach a point where enough is enough.

Things are not easy, choices are hard and life is tough!

But when does one finally reach breaking point,

It is the day you freak out and yet get locked up in the joint?

Each day brings on new challenges and situations.

Which adds to your already long list of frustrations.

You start the day hoping for it to be positive,

But yet at the end of the day you are just so negative…

You bury yourself, chin deep in your thoughts,

Forgetting your already knee deep in the s**t - in your shorts.

You manage to make it through your long day,

And each night you lay in bed and pray?

Pray for your loved ones, your family and friends,

And then you ponders on all who pretends.

You consider changing the way you are,

Knowingly that you will always be who you are…

You realize that in time, life has not changed.

No matter how many things you have rearranged.

You try to be positive, dress well and smile,

Though your actions have not, all the while.

You try to to forget your yesterday problems,

Just add it to the list on the far left columns!

They build up, pile up and eventually blow up.

And no offense that’s just a balls up.

Breaking point occurs due to one self,

As everything piles up and falls off from the top shelf.

Sort out a problem as soon as it arises,

You’ll never know of all the hidden surprises.

Not money or gold or anything material,

But the relief you will feel both physically and spiritual.

We take on more than we can handle,

Instead just light a freaking candle.

Get down on your knees, ask for nothing,

And thank God for everything!

He cannot grant powers or take away what bothers,

He can only assist by sending us others.

You see, for a person to be strong and keep their believe,

They may never feel the sense of relief.

For if you had no problems at all,

You’ll forget about God and eventually fall…

So tackle each day…. Day by day,

And remember to kneel and eventually pray.

For a build up of stress, anger and jealousy,

Can make you reach breaking point and complete misery!

**********

I SEE YOU FOR YOU

I see you, for who you are and not who your want to be,

Act as if you don’t care, yet you show people what they want to see

I see you, oh yes I do, the true you

Not the one you show to the world, but the one that is you

The person I know, I see, I adore

Is a person who has felt hardship and some

He wants to be more and to be financially free

And due to his self blindness, he doesn’t see me

We know there’s a spark, we see it all the time

Yet we pretend that those feelings are not yours nor mine

We avoid any contact through touching or feeling for me to scared to enjoy each other if we are both still healthy

Your healing through the failures of your life to both your son and your narcissistic wife

You lost a lot, your family and house now you feel less worthy than a country mouse

I lost my love, my friend, my partner

And know getting to know myself is a starter

A life I must live without choice, with regret

So for any new love I’m scared, I fret

I distant myself for the want is to strong

Your touch, your breath, your heartbeat I long

I want to jump you and take you to bed

But the thoughts of these things must stay in my head

I know you want me, in ways you cant say for we will regret it, if we chose the wrong day.

We are friends to the end and that I would trade for our friendship will last, but our lust it could fade.

I’d like to surrender myself, body and soul,

Not just to you as a man, but you as a whole.

You intrigue me in ways I cannot explain,

For as much joy, there is history and pain.

I see you, I see you, Oh yes I do…

The doos you can be, is at least honest and true.

For the false you, the egotistic, self obsessing you.

Is someones’ someone, his HERO is YOU!

Don’t see it as one person, see it as four…

For your not just an ordinary man, but so much more.

A HERO for a friend that couldn’t settle the score,

For an UNCLE that made life lessons into so much more.

For a father, a role model, your son you adore.

Those are the moments that I keep the score.

So I see you, the true you, the one I adore.

I wish I could tell you and do so much more.

I’m scared to loose you, a friend like you is scarce.

So I should listen to my head and my heart a little less.

So I see you, the real you, so broken and blue,

I shall not chase or aggressively pursue.

For you are not ready for what we could be,

A force to reckon, a team, you and me…

We are good for each other in more ways than one,

For mentoring, couching and motivating, not just fun!

We relax, we tease, we test, we play…

I must say, I enjoy spending time, just wish it could last more than a day.

I’d like to test the waters, but one wrong step and its done,

Our friendship, from one there will be none!

We are at that point where we either jump on the magic carpet and ride,

Or we sacrifice love and just this once, step aside?

*******

Sleepless nights

Another sleepless night, one of many lonely ones.

Yet I have not gone and watched the rising of the sun.

Maybe this once, I could try something other,

For each night passes, brings a new day and another…

The silence is deafening, the noises in my head make it ache,

I cannot tell if my reality is life or just a fake?

Could it be so disappointing and sad?

If so, it makes my blood boil, it makes me mad!

Each day is a pain, Oh God, please bring me some rain.

For the dullness of the once bright scenery is driving me insane,

The beauty I try to see in this world has gradually fade,

Now each night, I sit, I ponder in this darkness of shade.

The lights are on, yet the room is dark in which I sit.

It feels as if I can see the light at the top of my pit.

It enters, softly, gently and yet it is frightening,

For I’d prefer utter darkness than this dim lighting.

I cannot sleep, it just wont stop,

The thoughts in my head refuse to rot.

I want them gone as they are disturbing,

Sometimes quite sick and that is alluring?

These sleepless nights, they can make one change,

Feel as though nothing is real and that makes life strange.

It makes you loose track of date, space and time,

For nothing can or ever will bring back what was mine.

I try close my eyes and let my mind erase,

All that does is keep me in a dark, lonely scary place.

So I get up, cause I cannot sleep,

No matter what I do, I’ve even tried counting sheep…

Sleepless nights, make me even more numb,

Causing me to turn dates into sum.

The lack of sleeping doesn’t cause happiness and gain,

I am going insane, I have built up anger and pain.

But I keep it inside as if it could hide?

For breaking down and admitting I need help, will break my pride.

For I am the strong one, a pillar of sought?

But why me, for what reason? That is my thought.

So as the sun rises a new day, it awakens,

Yet my sleepless night, it has forsaken.

For I am not me, the new day can clearly see.

So why am I here, what is to become of me?

Will I fail, will I prosper?

The future right now, for me is unclear.

For life of happiness and success,

Can only be achieved with with a clear mind and enough rest…

*******

lockdown

The world is in chaos people are frightened as the cold of the world the fever has heightened. They call this pandemic covid-19 I thought seriously what does this all mean? people are in panic and international state of emergency. Hello did you hear it's not a joke can you comprehend it urgently? The complete country is in a state of lockdown f**k it guys is not trying to joke around it's time to frown. This is serious people are panicking and going crazy. All I prayed for was to enjoy life and now and then be lazy. People prayed for break from their everyday lives they never meant for it 2 cost them or others to die. People are in panic a worldwide pandemic please someone is coughing all the medic. Seriously a virus so small so minute wash your hands you sanitizer and don't I say do not dilute. If this is the answer for a world begging for Peace enjoying rather indignite Lord stop playing Quay. The game we are in has not been any fun why the f**k did you create the moon and the sun. So that we slay all day burning and aching until the sun starts to set and starts fading. Nighttime brings Joyce of family laughter but also the silence in the thoughts there after. What is this this thing called life it's so fragile it could end with a tip of a knife. So wow we here playing this game if all we achieve is sadness and pain. A few moments of Joy then never last long s**t nowadays those moments are shorter than a song. We are not told to stay indoors and not move for the world is at a standstill and the government is dancing to its own groove. We are going to be unable to do as we please God we can't even take a hike a stroll through the trees. We answer to everyone and no one takes complete control for our streets will be police and the military on patrol. so what is the truth lockdown is hiding for I don't know if my family should be abiding these laws put under man is this part of their sick claim to make us so scared and fearful of another thing that kills man. So we have had outbreaks similar diseases of sort. They also spread to travel by air and by Port. They killed many and still continue to do so why such a panic this virus is it true? Our world leaders the people in power have only but prayed and lived for the hour full stop to create a world order for one and for all so let's create a virus that will kill some or even more. This way we think immunity we stood I could it bring us together one virus it could. If we are told that we set aside our differences in order to survive I think the One World Order could be derived. Tell the people to pray each day at 8 after a while we would all be tricked it was fate. The one guard we prayed to answered our prayers so get rid of all the other gods and gospel lares. One group of people will come up with The Cure they all seem to be innocent and pure. But what will you give what will you sacrifice just for one more day in this miserable life? So lockdown is here it has finally come not for the bad people but for all not some.