Let Go

Chapter 6- Vante

The scorching summer creates an illusion of swirling visions under the waves of heat reflected from the ground. Blue and Green damselflies hopped from one daffodil leaf to the other. The summer breeze leaves a dusty warm trinkles on the skin. And on occasional moments, you will hear the cicadas' loud chirping from abundant cedar trees.

As the green grass of the field swayed along the billowing wind, you can hear the noise of the children happily playing from a distance. The playground of the orphanage was alive and packed that day. Some were flying their kites, some were playing by the sand, some were screaming at the slide and the swing, and some were enjoying their seesaw game.

And there by the creek, was an old truck tire tied on a tree branch with a nylon rope. The scent of the softly flowing water gives off a relaxing feeling. And on that tree, under its hallowed roots, was a child-- curled up like caterpillar and lying peacefully beneath the cool shade of the red maple leaves.

This child stared at the other kids who enjoy their time under the sun. The humidity makes their skin glisten with sweat. His eyes showed no emotion and his face is totally blank. He just laid still at the foot of the tree.

I was at early days of youth when this kid first arrived at the orphanage. He was a survivor of the plague, the nuns said. He never spoke to any of the kids from the time he came in up until now. He looks like a nice kid but he distances himself from everybody, we don't even know his name.

I was one of the youngest in the orphanage before he arrived. The orphanage was huge but it was full and there are barely any space for another child to sleep in. But the day before he arrive, two of my friends got lucky and were chosen by a good family to be adopted. Their room became vacant and after a few days two kids arrived at the orphanage. One was a tiny little boy, who had a bowl cut hair and pretty doe eyes. His name was Jungkook. The second one was him. Jungkook would turn six by next month that time. He enjoyed the company of the children at the orphanage and would love to always play with them. From time-to-time, he would sit beside me and ask what I was doing and I would always reply with the same thing, "I'm reading a book," I would say. He would give off a curious vibe and wondering eyes as if he was really interested with the books. At such a short time, I felt like I grew fond of this kid. While the other one, that lonesome child, would always stay in the dark.

He would close all the windows of their room as soon as Jungkook steps out of it. He would bring down the curtains and lock the door, when he's alone in their room and would sleep under the bed. He barely eats or steps out of the room, and when he does, he'd go straight out to that hollowed place at the foot of the maple tree.

"What a weird kid!" a voice commented. I looked behind me and Hope stood there. "Oh, it's you." I uttered. He sat beside me on a bench near the grove of lemon trees. "He's been like that for quite some time now. Do you think he'll mind if I try to speak with him?" he asked, raising his right brow. "Up to you." I responded nonchalantly. "He looks like a nice person though. Nice but lonely. Maybe he wants a friend too, but he just doesn't know how to approach people he just met. I think I'll try speaking with him." He sought to himself. He stood and said, "let's go. let's talk to him."

I followed him.

He rode the tire which served as a swing by the creek and he swung it gently. "I like it here. It's nice and quiet here."

"I know. You are the only one breaking the silence here." the kid coldly replied. It kinda ticked my nerves. I was supposed to get him to stand up, but Hope stopped me. "Don't" he shook his head. He stood up and sat by the kid's feet. He sat up and glared at him. "What do you want?" he asked inimically. "Uhh... I just want to be friends. I was wondering why you were always alone, and I thought maybe you need some company."

"Stop lying, you just want to bully me. You don't want to be friends with a sick person," he crouched, wrapping his arms on his legs. His voice, sorrowful.

"I am a bad liar, you know? I stutter when I lie. The fact that I can speak to you straight proves I'm sincere." he smiled, his dimples at the corner of his lips showed. The kid's face glowed at the sight of Hope's smile. He can really brighten up anyone's day with his sunshine smile. "I'm your Hope, You're my Hope. My name is Hope. And you are?" he stretched his hand out. The kid took Hope's hand and shook them. "My name is V."

"My name is Randa. Runch Randa. Nice to meet you, V." I jumped in. "I hope we can all be good friends!" Hope and I spoke at the same time. I held his other hand and pulled him up. "V, huh? You got a unique name."

"It's from my grandfather's name, Victor. My mother named me after him in hopes that I become a successful person in the future." he gave off a bitter smile, "now, it doesn't matter if I get to be successful in the future. No One will be there to witness it anyway."

"Bwii..." a tiny voice spoke behind the tree. We looked behind us and Jungkook's tiny head poke out from behind the trunk. "Bwii... can we play? My name is Kookie," he showed off that radiant bunny smile. "Sure!" V answered happily. He seems like he has a soft spot for kids.

Since then, four of us would hang out by the creek. We would swim together, play together, catch crickets and dragonflies together. Some of the older kids who were close to me became their friends, too. But Ikje-hyung and Hyosang-hyung were soon chosen to be adopted, and a year later, Suga-hyung got enlisted for adoption too. That left me and Hope as the oldest among the kids. "Are you going to be adopted, too?" V asked sadly. "It is still uncertain." I replied, hesitantly. I do not want to tell him that Hope was in-line for adoption soon.

The following week, a new kid arrived. He was now the oldest among us. He was named Jin. A guy who was too pretty to be a guy. He's a very responsible and well-mannered young lad. The nuns said he was from a well-off family but his family died on a plane crash and only he survived. He was still learning to adapt to the sudden change of environment but I never heard any qualms from him despite the difficulty in adjustment with his new life. He laughs a lot, and he is very dependable when it comes to taking care of the younger kids. He, too, became close with V.

It was near the end of autumn, when V received a letter. It was a sad news. It says his grandmother passed away, and that up until her last breath, she only spoke of V. The poor kid was devastated. For a while, he stopped coming out of his room again. But Jin was persistent. He had a polaroid camera which he was able to save from the accident. It was chipped at the edge but still functioning. He went inside V's room, and showed him how it is used. "Life is ephemeral and everything fades through time. If you feel that it is one of the best moments in life that you want to keep forever, capture it in a frame. I will let you keep this." Jin said in a gentle voice. "But you need to come out more. The beauty of life do not hide in the shadows."

For a while, Photography has become an instrument for V to let his emotions out. Sometimes, he would teach Jungkook how to take still shots. In one of the occurences, V found a pamphlet of a minimalist photography. The style and technic captured his heart.

This photographer said in this pamphlet "My approach is to show the true beauty of the subject, where it demands attention by introducing space and minimising distractions. The simplest of things, when isolated, can represent something beautiful. What we take for granted often seems to be the most important, when I bring attention to these simple elements it can function as a reminder to truly appreciate the finer things that surround us." V has been captivated by those words as if it speaks to him. He begun to admire this Ante Badzim guy. V found a new purpose in life. He dreamt of becoming a photographer someday.

One winter day, he ran to us with such an excited expression on his face. He wore the brightest smile we have ever seen from him. "Randa-hyung, Hope-hyung, Jin-hyung, Jungkookie! I have decided on something! Will you support me?" he grinned. Jin, in his usual, sweet voice, smiled and ruffled V's hair. "What is that, V-ssi? You seemed so ecstatic about it". V nodded energetically and responded, "I will become a photographer! From now on, call me by my new name!"

Hoseok and I chorused, "what's your new name?"

"Vante!" he exclaimed.

"Vante..." I whispered under my breath as I took one of the photos he had taken. It was Hope's back, as he was walking towards the garden. "I think you don't capture memories... You capture visions of the future."

Jungkook climbed up my arm, hanging on my tucked gray shirt. "What's that?" he asked. "It's Hope hyung." I said. "Is he leaving? Bwii-hyung's photos always happen! My dog died after he took a photo of him lying on the ground. It looks the same! Is Hope-hyung leaving soon?"

Hope and I looked at each other, scrambling for words. Jin answered for us, "He is not, baby. Come here." he carried Jungkook off from me and laid him on his lap, brushing his hair with his hand while humming a lullaby. Then he made a promise before Jungkook fell asleep, "We are a family. If we leave this place, we leave all together. I promise."

Jungkook soon fell asleep. With a calm smile on his lips, he softly murmured "Vante-hyung".

V suddenly spoke, "Ante Badzim is my new favorite photographer now. I put his name and mine together! It's cool, isn't it?"

We all agreed. It was a cool name.

Vante...