Having a mating pair of Capybaras, 1 male wolf dog, a female de-scented skunk, and a male fruit bat was a lot of work. But so completely and totally worth it. The amount of cuddles I get on a daily basis is ridiculously amazing. Flower, my skunk, yes named after the Disney character in Bambi, was such a cuddle bug, she wore my wolf dog, Hercules, down in a matter of weeks after first rescuing her. He won’t admit it now, but Hercules was scared of her when she first got here. I’ve had him since he was a pup, and he is the one that usually does the scaring. Hercules stands at 5 feet and 2 inches from paw to the top of his head, has obscenely fluffy fur, that acts more like hair, that’s a dark charcoal color with white toes on all 4 paws. Flower is not the traditional black and white skunk, she had really pretty brown fur with white stripes. It’s not legal in the state of Texas to own a skunk, but I rescued mine in a state that it is legal in and have her registered as a rescue. I had a nasty breakup a year ago, and the b***h called the Texas State Wildlife people on me. It took me weeks to ensure that Flower didn’t get taken away. I had all my paperwork in order, but those people didn’t care, they wanted me to hand over Flower like she was a bag of cash at a bank robbery. I’d rather get shot than let anyone take my animals.
They got even more pissy when they ‘inspected’ the areas I had sectioned off for my other animals when they hang out outside. My capybaras, Lydia and Stiles- I’m a teen wolf fan so what- have a pond I dug out and made myself with a lot of enrichment toys, even a hut that I made. It’s a b***h to replace the straw roof every year, but it’s worth it when they get all excited about it. They also had ample space in the barn, I made sure to convert 2 stalls for them to spend time in when I’m not at home. My bat, Sweeney, is a complete sweetheart and loves all things sweet, especially fruit. I converted half of the loft in the barn for her ‘enclosure’. It has no door, but it has a s**t ton of stuff for her to play with and hang off of.
The Wildlife people got even more upset when they saw I had a wolf dog. I have never seen someone turn that shade of purple before. The guy started ranting and raving and yelling, even got in my face at one point. His partner tried to pull him back, but by then Hercules had tackled him to the ground and started dragging him towards the front yard where their cage was parked. The guys partner was chasing them while I was laughing my ass off. “Did I forget to mention?” I hollered out, “He’s a trained guard and rescue dog!” I gasped out in between bouts of laughter. I had tears in my eyes by the time Hercules had let him go.
By the time they were on their feet Hercules had gone back and laid down on the porch to chill. No one brought up that a 260lb wolf dog had just dragged a man over 100 feet like he weighed nothing. While also not breaking the skin on the guys’ leg or ripping his pants. It gave me a ’proud papa’ moment. He’d be getting a large treat later.
“Well, how do you like me now. And know, your answer will make or break your departure.” I say with saccharine sweetness. They looked at each other, then back at me.
“Can we see that paperwork one more time, we just need to fill out a few forms on our side to ensure everything is up to code and we can place you and Flower in the database.” The partner said with a quiet reluctance. “We will head out after that.”
“No problem, it’s all in my office, come on in. Anyone want a glass of water or sweet tea?” I asked as I headed back to the house.
“N-No thank you. We’ll be fine here.” He said. After all was said and done, the paperwork filled out, and they had left, I called my ex up and told her that she should be expecting a call from the State Wildlife people for issuing a false report. Apparently, it costed a hefty fine, and if she continued to mouth off like she was with me, cussin me out, possible jail time. I laughed as I hung up on her screeching. Her blowjobs were great, but not great enough to cancel out the toxicity and narcissism.
As I come back from memory lane, I realize I’m on my road. My Harley Davidson Softail making the journey smooth. Black with a silver shine coat and turquoise trim, it was a dream bike. Literally, I saved for 4 years so I could get this custom bike. I have a Sportster Iron 883 in my garage that I needed to take out more often and show her off. Ox blood red and matte black with chrome detailing and she is a stunner.
I pull in to the drive and notice my new gate is wide open and there are bikes and cages in my drive. I hang my head in self-pity. So much for a hot shower and a quiet night cuddling the animals with The Witcher on Netflix. Seriously, Henry Cavil is the hottest damn man on the planet. Well, and Chris Evans. And Sebastian Stan. Oh, who am I kidding, the entire Avengers group is hot as f**k and give me wet dreams.
I’m sitting in my drive on my bike, contemplating going back to the hospital to avoid the questions and interrogations I know are about to happen.
“Don’t even think about leaving Crow, get your ass in the house.” Adalricus says from behind me. I’m not proud of it, but I yelped. It happens when someone with that deep of a gravelly voice sneaks up behind you. Especially someone his size.
“Oy! This is my house! Why are y’all here? And why did no one ask permission first?!” I argue.
“What are you talking about? Samhain said you wanted everyone here for an update. But judging by the look on your face, that’s not true. Dammit. That fuckin prospect is getting a beating this time. This is the 2nd time he’s done something like this. I really need to start verifying these things. Last time it was the twins’ place. That was a nightmare in and of itself.” We both shudder at the memory. That went so badly, the therapist I sought out afterwards fired me as a client and had to go to a therapist herself.
We were walking up my walkway towards the steps leading to the wraparound porch when all hell broke loose, again.