When The Time Is Right ✔

Chapter 7

“Oh, please, stop crying already.”

Zian and I are in the backseat of his car. He is stroking my back and I am crying really loud and ugly. We have been here for, I think, thirty minutes and I am still crying like I just started.

Every time I stop, Louis’ words linger in my mind then I would cry again. It’s endless. And hopeless, at that.

“Hell, I have waited for you for five years and now I am here with you and you are crying because of another guy. That’s really awesome, Hana. I feel happy.” Zian told me sarcastically as he handed me tissue and I blew my nose grossly.

I heard him sigh hard.

“What have you really seen in him?” He asked me. “I get it. You love him. And maybe you have fallen for him because you two were engaged. But hell, Hana, if he makes you cry like this, do you think love is worth it?”

Zian’s words hung up in the air. Is it worth it? Loving Louis so much even though he pushes me away?

Zian’s arms enveloped around me body. “Don’t waste your time crying for someone who pushes you away. If he loves you, no matter what you did to him, no matter how you’ve hurt him in the past, he will still welcome you. He will still love you. He will still want you.” He told me and hugged me tight.

With his words, I had the urge to cry again.

Why did I even let this man go?

Why did I even choose Louis over him?

Zian was the perfect man for me. He never made me cry. He always makes me smile. He takes good care of me. Everything we had was happy memories.

Why did I even hurt him? He didn’t deserve pain. He didn’t deserve deception.

“I’m sorry.” I told him. “Sorry for hurting you.” I sobbed and held tighter onto him. “You didn’t deserve any of those. You were the best man for me. But I threw it all away.” I bawled.

I felt him laugh weakly. “You don’t deserve being hurt either.” He told me as he stroke my back again. “There is no woman who deserves to cry because of a man.” He whispered and I felt him kiss my hair.

“I know it’s hard for you to do this but please, move on, Hana. Move on from him. He’s not worth your time and your tears.”

This time, I lifted my head and looked at him. He moved his hand to my face and wiped my tears. I guess, there is always that man who comforts you whenever you are down. He will act as your knight when your prince is looking at a different princess.

That one person who would always be there to wipe your tears when you cry for the wrong guy.

That one person who would always remind you that it’s not worth it to cry for a guy. No man is worth of a woman’s tears.

Right now, it is Zian Angelo Woo for me. Zian, no matter how I have hurt him, will always be here.

I know he will.

He was mine. Why did I even look away when I have found the greatest man in the world?

**

“What do you want for your birthday, Hana?” Dad asked me when we were eating breakfast.

I looked at him. I almost forgot that my birthday is fast approaching. Perhaps, I have been preoccupied of a lot of things.

Louis. Nicole. Office. Heartbreak. I am sidetracked. And I haven’t gotten the touch of the office life even.

Well, if I come to think of it, I have been celebrating my birthday in Boston without a decent celebration. It is just another ordinary day. Mom and Dad would give me a huge amount of money to buy whatever I want – which I never used anyway. I have saved it on my bank account. Valeria would just bake me a cake then I would just blow my candles then go to sleep. The next day, I would go to school again.

Same old routine. Boring.

And I am used to that. I don’t think birthdays should be celebrated the elegant and extravagant way. Especially when there is no one to celebrate it with.

I smiled at Dad. “I don’t really want anything, Dad.” I told him as I drank on my juice. To be honest, a simple dinner would be enough.

Mom and Dad looked at me weirdly. I bet they are worried at my reply. They have always thought me of someone who would want something. Like a cake or ice cream or pasta. But right now, I’m telling them I don’t want anything.

I looked at them sheepishly. How was I even embarrassed to have wanted nothing?

“But…” My voice trailed. “…if you would allow me to have my own place, I would gladly accept it.” I smiled awkwardly.

Dad and Mom looked at each other. “You want to have your own pad?” Mom asked me with an expression I have never seen before. I can’t tell if she was happy or sad about what I just wanted.

I nodded. “That is if you want me to.” I replied. “I want to be independent. I’m old enough. I want to try the things American girls experience.”

Mom looked at Dad who is not saying anything. He is reading the newspaper but I think he is thinking of what I just said.

“Bu-“

“Okay. I think that’s a great idea.” Dad cut my words. I looked at him in disbelief. “Really?” I asked, shocked of what he told me.

I didn’t even think they would let me off easily like this. I mean, I am their only daughter. I have stayed far from home for five years and now, I just got back not long ago, and they are allowing me to get a pad of my own.

Wow. I must have missed the fun in birthdays for five years.

Dad looked at me and nodded. “Yes.” He replied. “And besides, you said you are old enough. You can take care of yourself.” He said. I don’t even know if I was more of happy or more of in disbelief. They let go of me that easily.

He brought his phone out and dialed someone’s number. “Mr. Kwon,” he spoke. “Help me find a place for Hana.” He ordered. “Yes, a pad.” He replied. “The soonest. Okay. Bye.”

He looked at me. “Done. You can have your place soon.” He smiled the drank his tea. 

I looked at him and nodded. But at the back of my mind, I am still doubting. I am still surprised he let me off this easily.

Mom looked at me and smiled. “You want me to come with you and buy the things you need?” She asked me so generously.

I shook my head and smiled. “No, Mom. You’ll just get tired. I’ll just ask Mich to accompany me.” I replied curtly. She narrowed her eyes on me then Dad just chuckled at us.

I smiled back. “Thanks, Dad, Mom.” I told them.

“We trust you, Hana. We know you can take care of yourself well.” Dad said.

Mom nodded. “Just call us when you need anything.” She told me. “And don’t worry, we will visit you when we can.” She smiled. “Maybe every weekend?”

I nodded and chuckled at her advanced schedule of visit. “Mom. I don’t even have the place yet, though.” I told her and we all laughed.

**

People say that sweet things heal broken hearts. I’ve read in a magazine that sweet things – chocolate for instance – contain endorphins, the happy hormones. Somehow, it helps make your day brighter and happier. Hence, the name.

So now, I am walking to the cafeteria of our building to look for something sweet. I need it now. Badly do.

I was about to enter the place when I saw Nicole and Louis laughing together. I looked away and gulped.

“I know it’s hard for you to do this but please, move on, Hana. Move on from him. He’s not worth your time and your tears.”

Zian’s words linger in my head. Yes, Hana. Move on. He’s not worth any pain. He’s not worth any tear. He’s not worth anything.

“Not coming in?”

I looked at my side and saw Mr. Pascual looking down at me. He’s wearing a black button down shirt that makes him look really radiant. He looks so clean and neat. I guess, that’s why our employees turn their heads whenever he passes by.

I smiled at him. “I am.” I replied as I walked inside the cafeteria. As expected, everyone is looking my way because Mr. Pascual is behind me.

Girls are blushing at the sight of Mr. Pascual. Well, it’s hard not to if you’re fixated in him. It’s easy if you’re me, who actually am hurting with every step I am taking right now.

I glanced Louis’ way and I caught him looking my way.

I looked away at that instant because my heart was starting to betray me again. How many times do I have to tell myself to stop wanting him? But, yes, how do I even stop myself to keep wanting him?

He’s all that I ever wished for. Stopping from wanting him is going to be the hardest thing in my whole life.

I looked at him for one last time and he was still looking at me.

Did he even look hurt?

I gulped and continued walking. Quit dreaming, Hana. Move on.