For starters, my hair is growing out. Big deal, I know. But I’ve kept it all the same length for years, in imitation of my favorite pro soccer player. Parted down the middle, tucked behind my ears and falling to just above the shoulders, I suppose it’s always been a bit effeminate. But now when I wash it, I can feel it really tickling my back. It’s thicker and fuller too, this extra body likely due to Goddess’ expensive salon-style shampoo and conditioner. I’ve never used the latter; and, when it comes to the former, I’d never given a s**t. Whatever was on the shelf was good enough. But finally I see the benefits of proper hair care. While nowhere near as lush and slutty as my wig, my shiny, slightly curly locks are beginning to look decidedly attractive too. They frame my fine-boned,

