Mending Wounds

Chapter Seventeen

I woke up with a headache sometime during the evening in Derek’s room. The room was dim, the only light entering from the door that was slightly cracked open and my phone beside me. I reached over to my phone on the bedside table, noticing that it 7:27 p.m. and the 3 messages I had from Jeremy on my phone.

‘I’m sorry about what happened today. I should’ve expected Alex to do such thing’ - Jeremy.

‘Ben and Rowan left’ - Jeremy.

‘Alex is a bit upset though. I know that you want to tell her yourself, so I didn’t give her much details other than you not knowing anything about this’ - Jeremy.

I sighed as I closed the phone and placed it back on the bedside table.

Just as the sighed, I felt a hand pushing my hair back and playing with ends. Knowingly, I turned around with closed eyes and snuggled closer to the warmth. I was welcomed with a pair of boobs instead of the hard chest that I was expecting. I wrapped my arms around Alex’s waist and placed my head on her stomach as I cuddled her.

“Hey” I mumbled.

“I was so close to calling an ambulance to get your stomach pumped” Alex joked “After 4 years of trying to convince you to have a drink, you get tricked into it”

A moment of silence passed by.

“I really wish you told me about it before I found out like that” she said “I really wish you told me you two broke up because I brought him here and made this entire scene in front of everyone. I honestly feel like I don’t know you anymore”

“You do” I reassured her “I just didn’t know how to break it to you”

“You should’ve just told me” she said “I waited for you to tell me, but you never did, and I can’t help that I fell mostly at fault. I know that I haven’t been here for a while and that I’m not really the easiest to talk to about relationships. Hell, if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place”

“It’s not really you fault. You didn’t know” I told her “And I went into it blindly because I thought I was over your brother, but honestly, whom am I kidding right”

“And that’s another thing as well” she pointed out “I know you’re not over him and I know that there is most probably something going on between you two. You don’t have to deny it or confirm it, I’ve known you two most of my life and it’s honestly not my business who you or Cole decide to date nor whatever happens between you”

She then turned to me “All I am asking you too is to be careful because I don’t want you to hurt my brother, and most importantly, I don’t want you to get hurt again. I am done interfering with your love life, but I am asking you to not shut me out of it either” she reached out and held my hand “I know being shut off emotionally is your thing and you don’t really like to share, but you really need to open up to other if you want us in your life”

“Alex, I don’t know how to do that” I told her “I don’t know how to talk to you about how I am feeling because I am scared of what it will happen. Cole is your brother; I don’t want you to get caught in the middle of this because you’re too close to it. I don’t want you to have to choose sides. The same thing was with Ben; you saw him often and had a good relationship with him. I didn’t want to ruin it”

“f**k, Ben, what he did was absolutely shitty and you did not deserve that. You know that I would always choose you first no matter what, right? Not even Ben can change that”

I gave her a side hug “I love you” I cried.

“Of course, you do, have you looked at me” she chuckled “Although, you might a bit more annoyed at me because you’re forced to spend more time with me now”

I looked over to her confused.

“Rowan and I are over” I told her “No expect for you come between Jer and I, and now one ever comes between you and I. We are tied for life”

“I’m sorry” I told her “I didn’t want you to find out this way”

I then pulled away from her and sighed “You’re such a good friend” I told her.

“I know, right” she smiled “Get changed and come downstairs, the party is still going if you want to join”

Before she walked out of the room, she turned to me and flapped her hands together “Cole won’t be joining us for the remaining of the party, my mum sent him off to the supermarket for grocery shopping and run some errands on the way”

I gave her a nodded before I watched her leave the room before I changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

Sometime later at night, Alex brought a box of 1000 pieces of puzzles. Everyone was scattered around the carpet except the uninvited Rowan and Derek who disappeared after the pool party. Knowing that he probably got caught up in scrolling through i********:’s explore page and forgot about the party going on, I decided to go call him to join us downstairs.

When I knocked on the door, the action slightly pushed the door open reveling Derek lying on his bed and on his phone.

“Knock, knock” I said and I pushed the door further open “What are you doing up here on your own? There’s a party that haven’t finished downstairs. Alex brought a 1000-piece p…”

“I don’t feel like it” he cut me off.

I raised an eyebrow “Okay” I said confused before leaning against the door.

“What’s up with the attitude?” I asked “You were fine this morning”

“Well this morning I didn’t find out that you were hiding s**t from me and lying to my face” he said.

“It wasn’t like that, Derek” I tried to defend myself.

“But it was. Sophia, you lied to me about you and Ben still being together” he said “Jeremy and Andrew knew, Cole most probably knew about it, Dalia knew about it and she literally just met you, and even goddamn Rowan knows”

“No one was meant to find out until I broke the news to you and Alex first” I told him “Because Jeremy and Andrew were there. I didn’t even mean to tell Cole, but it just slipped, and the only reason Rowan found out is because she overheard my drunk conversation with Dalia, who just happened to be there. I swear I never meant you to find out this way”

“What about you and Cole? Were you going to break the news about you two sneaking around again or waited till we caught you in action?” he asked bitterly.

I looked at him dumfounded “Derek, what are you…”

“Tell me, Sophia, did you start hooking up with Cole before you broke up with Ben or after” he said getting up “Did you lie to everyone else about it or just me”

I looked at him hurt “You don’t know what you’re talking about” I told him.

“I do though, the second Prince Cole walks back into the picture, you dropped me like I didn’t matter anymore and just went back to letting everything revolve around him” he said “Did you even think about how this would make me feel? Did you even consider it? Did you consider that it might hurt me because I like you?”

I shook my head refusing to listen anymore “No, we’re not doing this” I told him “We’re not doing this whole love tringle thing”

“Just because you don’t want to do it, it doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen” he said stepping closer. He then gently took my face in his hand and planted a kiss on my lips before I could I ever process what he was saying to me.

It felt wrong, it felt empty and emotionless. I love Derek and always will love him, it’s just that I don’t have that type of attraction to him and I know that he’s just confused about his feelings. Kissing him was like kissing my sibling because that’s how I saw him, I’ve always seen him as a brother and a best friend and always will. Nothing will change because I know that my feelings are longing after someone else and that person happens to be his older brother.

I pressed my hands against his chest then pushed against it; it was enough to cause him to move his mouth away from him. I watched him; I watched the disappointment in his face as I moved away from him feeling utterly numb by his actions of taking something that I wasn’t ready nor wanted to share with him.

“Tell me, Derek, what is it that you like about me? How did you realize that you had feelings for me” I asked “What made you look at me differently than you used to?”

Before he could open his mouth to answer, I continued “Is it how people kept telling you that you absolutely had feelings for me, or how everything convinced you that I also have feelings for you and that we should start dating?” I told him “Is it your own emotions, or it’s the pressure of everyone around you saying things like that. Whatever you’re feeling right now, that’s not your emotions, that what everyone else convinced you to feel. If you honestly felt like that about me, you wouldn’t kiss me before I told you how I feel about you and you would have been more considering knowing that I just went through a whole scene and knowing that there is something going on between your brother and I”

“I didn’t mean to kiss you forcefully” she apologized “I just…”

“You just what? Though it was a good time to surprise me after the day I’ve had?” I asked “We can’t take back what just happened, but what we can do is put space between us for a while”

“Space?” he asked offended “Cole breaks your heart, moves away, and breaks your heart all over when he came back, but you are putting space between you and me because I kissed you and told you how I felt about you”

“Derek, aren’t you currently talking to someone right now?” I asked “Aren’t you supposed to be dating someone else? Jenny or something?”

“We’re not dating” he defended.

“But you are talking, flirting, and occasionally kissing right?” I told him “You did the same thing Ben just did to me. You once again made me the other women and turned me into the person I hate the most. A relationship wrecker”

We bother fell into a minute of silence before he spoke up.

“I don’t want you dating Cole again” he said “Did you consider how that will play out again, and how you’re dragging everyone else around you into this and hurting other than yourself by your actions? Alex might’ve forgiven you for lying about Ben and sneaking around with Cole again, but I will not do”

“I guess that’s your choice to make” I told him “My choice is to put a little of space between us two, at least till you realize that these aren’t your actual feelings”

He nodded “Then I guess we can’t be best friends anymore”

I didn’t let myself break, in one month, I managed to lose 5 of the closest people to me including Derek right now. I didn’t want to break in front of him. So, I just nodded with ‘I guess so’ before walking away with tears threatening to fall.